Tag Archive for 'zit'

You Know What This Made Me Think Of?

It made me think of that time when I got that HUUUUUUGE zit on my chin.  Remember? I’m not kidding you.  It kind of looked like the GIANT PROTRUBERANCE that this idiot voluntarily implanted into her head.

What in the holy hell is wrong with people?  That whole body modification/alteration stuff is completely stupid and totally hideous, and I feel kinda bad for making you see that picture, so here’s a happy meerkat:

Zit Update!

So I went to the dermatologist this afternoon.  And I’m sitting in one of the rooms, and the Nurse Practioner comes in looking at my chart, gives me just a tiny glance and keeps reading, and without looking up she says, “So why are you here today?”  So I say, “Because of THIS,” and point to the enemy on my chin.  And I’m not kidding you or exaggerating in the slightest when I say that when she looked up, her eyes widened suddenly, she moved back in her chair slightly, and said, “WOW!” as if the thing on my chin were alive and planning on going after her next.

So yeah.  Right away, I’m feeling great about this visit.

Anyway, once she gathered up the courage, she approached me with one of those welder masks that dermatologists wear to inspect my tumor more closely.  And all she kept saying, over and over, was, “Ohh – you poor thing.”

So finally, I was like, “What the hell IS that thing?  I’ve never had such an intruder on my face before.  And it hurts and it woke me up in the night.”  And she said, “Well, it’s just a really cystic blemish, and we probably need to drain it.”  And I’m thinking that I will basically do ANYTHING to get rid of this thing, so I said, “Yes, please.  Drain away.”  So she called in the actual dermatologist to come look at it, and the dermatologist reacted in the same exact way, recoiling at first and then just showering me with pity.  So she told me that if it were on my back, she’d drain it, but since it’s in a hugely obvious place on my face, she’d rather shoot a combination of antibiotic and anti-inflammatory stuff in there.  So I said, “Yes, please.  Shoot away.”

Meanwhile, I had also noticed that the intruder’s baby sister had decided to pay a visit to her older and fatter brother, and was settling in nicely right next door, on the opposite side of my chin.  I pointed this out to both the NP and doctor, and they decided they’d shoot the baby sister too.  YAY!

So when they came back with the shot, I had already made myself comfortable on the table, and they prepared me for how much it was going to hurt and sting, which it totally did, but I was seriously at a point where they could have come at me with a table knife and told me they’d need to just very slowly saw it off, and I would have been very agreeable to that.

Now I’m home, and $150 poorer because of the topical goo they prescribed me, and the constellation of cysts remains on my chin.  They told me I should see marked improvement within 48 hours.  I kind of just want to hide in my bed until they go away, but alas, tomorrow’s another work day, and I have more people to face and more humiliation to feel.

You guys, I’m practically FORTY.  Doesn’t that alone qualify me for some reprieve from this kind of hormonal nonsense?

Anyway, thanks for all the support and all of your suggestions.  I hope these shots work and that things seem less painful and less prominent tomorrow.

The Zit Chronicles

You guys, ordinarily I wouldn’t be quite this obsessive about a single zit, but remember how I told you yesterday  that I was developing a zit on my chin of volcanic proportions?

Well, I’m telling you, I’ve never encountered a zit of this magnitude in my life. Yesterday, I complained enough to Bunny about my zit that she said, “Ok.  Here’s what we’re going to do.  This zit isn’t going to know what hit it.  You’re going to douse it with pure rubbing alcohol before you go to bed, and you’re going to slather it with zit cream, and by morning, you should notice a dramatic improvement.”

So that’s exactly what I did.  And not only did it not work, it simply made the zit angry, so much so that it woke me up several times during the night, just to remind me of its superiority.  It’s currently one of those under-the-surface zits that is unpoppable.  It’s just there, festering, growing, and causing me undue stress and pain.

So when I woke up this morning, I was less surprised than I was defeated when I saw my chin in the mirror.  This zit has literally changed the contouring of my face, it’s so big.  I no longer have the same smile.  Mr. Mock looked at me and recoiled.  Once he got over his horror, he said, “Sweetheart, I don’t even think that’s a zit.  I think that’s some sort of horrible infection and you need to see a doctor.”  THAT is how much of a freak of nature I am – he actually tried to say it was something other than a monster zit just so I could maintain some dignity.

No amount of make-up or concealer will cover this thing.  It’s like a beacon.  I’m pretty sure it’s visible from space, and am genuinely concerned that Google Earth might hone in on it as some unidentified oddity in need of further research.

I may actually call a dermatologist today, just because it DOES seem odd for something like a zit to be this painful.   I will keep you apprised.  Work prom is definitely tentative until such time as the enemy retreats from its position in my chinular area.

Jessica Alba Enjoys Being Pampered

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This picture makes me giggle so much.

You guys, I awoke this morning to quite possibly the largest volcano of a zit on my chin EVER.  And it’s not visible to others yet, because it’s one of those underground monster-zits, but it’s the kind of huge that I can feel when I talk or move my mouth in any way. 

This zit could seriously prevent me from going to work prom next Saturday.  I was planning on going out dress shopping for work prom this afternoon, and had already decided that if dress shopping was unsuccessful, then work prom was on the chopping block.  Now, with the added pimplocity and blemishtaciousness, work prom is looking less and less enticing to me.

I’ll tell you where I WON’T be dress shopping this afternoon, and that’s Saks.  Besides, I don’t think this kind of zit is even allowed in there.

UPDATE:  Adding a proof-that-this-is-Jessica-Alba picture to the commenter who claimed it was Lily Allen.  I mock your mock of my mock.

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