Tag Archive for 'Tom Cruise'

Are You Sitting Down???

Because if you are, that is exactly what I am doing! We have so much in common.

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this link, to inform me that Tom Cruise and whatshername are getting a divorce, after 5 years.

I don’t know about you all, but I am in shock and disbelief not the least bit surprised. Any relationship that starts with a crazy Scientologist jumping on Oprah’s couch to declare his love for someone is doomed to failure.

Celebrities. Soooooooooooo predictable.

Celebrity Love

Kelly McGillis just got married to the chick in the picture above (that’s Kelly on the left), according to this.

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that they’re not going to be watching this together any time soon:

Hey, remember when Tom Cruise was hot, straight, and sane?

Good times.

This Caused Me Actual Physical Pain

Katie Holmes should not be allowed to sing, or dance, or appear in public with her husband on stage. Period.


An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this video of “the best dancing kid on earth” and told me that it was “95% hilarious and 5% disturbing.” I don’t know if I agree on the percentages. This kid clearly has watched Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder like 37,423 times.

Got Thetans?

You guys – alert and astute mockdocker JayTee sent me an article about how a Scientology spokesperson has finally admitted that the religion is based on the fundamental belief that “mankind’s problems stem from brainwashed alien soul remnants created millions of years ago by genocidal alien overlord Xenu.”

JayTee probably had no idea that I am completely OBSESSED with how wacked out Scientology is. But I totally am. Remember my rant of about a year ago? I EAT UP all the stories I read about Anonymous and all of their protests, and all of the scandal and murder that apparently takes place behind the scenes. And of course, who could forget Tom Cruise’s maniacal video that was leaked?

Anyway, the video after the jump (it may auto-start) is an interview conducted with one of Scientology’s brainwashed morons spokesmen. And you guys, just watch the spin taking place right before your very eyes. Amazing. For the original article, click here.

Continue reading ‘Got Thetans?’

Katie’s Private Rebellion

Doesn’t the title of this post sound like a tabloid headline?  I came up with it ALL BY MYSELF.  And here’s why.

With this, the 7,456,238th picture of Katie dwarfing Tom Cruise, I think I have finally figured out what’s going on here.  You guys all know that she’s a Scientology prisoner and is probably under some sort of wacked out Zenu spell or something, which is why she keeps up with this marital charade.  But I think what’s happening is that Katie wears heels to silently alert the world that she is not 100% assimilated.  This is her way of saying, “Look, world!  I still have a shred of individuality left, such that I don’t mind making my master husband look like a ridiculous dwarf.  Do you see?  See my heels?  Do you?”

This is my hypothesis, and I’m sticking to it.

More Fun With Curbs

Following in Tom Cruise’s teeny tiny itty bitty footsteps, Rod Stewart took to the streets with his wife, Gigantress.

Time To Invest In Some Elevator Shoes, Tom

Word on the street is that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are in search of a script so that they can play opposite one another in movie, and that the remake of Last Tango in Paris is being considered.

To that I say, eeew.

LOOK at how much shorter he is than Katie.  And they are on LEVEL GROUND.

Ok See – NOW They’re Just Screwing With Us

First the haircuts and the total elimination of any of Katie’s individuality…and now THIS!!?  They’re both wearing navy blue mansuits now?

You know, I’ve felt sort of apathetic about them up to this point, but this is pushing me riiiiight to the HATE ledge.  This is just Out. Of. Control.

Tom Cruise Has Slightly Redeemed Himself

This is a clip from Tom’s cameo in Tropic Thunder, which I totally cannot WAIT to see, and I have to say, Tom Cruise in a fat suit and bald and kind of disgusting is like a million times better than psycho scientoloTom. Definitely funnier.

Have you guys seen this yet?

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