I wrote about how badly Christina Aguilera botched the National Anthem at the superbowl on my other site the other day. Did you guys HEAR that? It was unbearable. It wasn’t just that she messed up the lyrics, which was bad enough. She tried to completely transform the SONG, into nothing but a showcase of her vocal range. And it made the song utterly unrecognizable.
Which is why this totally gave me the glees:
I mean, whoever decided to pull together these photos of The Rock to make fun of Christina Aguilera clearly needs to be friends with me. LOVE.
BEHOLD: The Faux French Intellectual talking about her role in The Tooth Fairy. You guys, this is a movie in which The Rock dresses in a fairy costume. This is not a serious drama. And yet, to listen to Ashley describe it, particularly towards the last 30-40 seconds of this clip, you’d think she was talking about the filming of a documentary on child behavior.
Kidding. Judging from this preview, she may have like 3 lines in this movie. I’m not going to go so far as to say that this film is going to be terrible, because the very very end of the clip with Billy Crystal gave me hope that maybe it could be Princess Bride-y, and I do love me some Stephen Merchant, but wow. I’d say Meryl Streep doesn’t have anything to worry about from a competition standpoint.
OMG you guys – guess what. Ashley has signed on to film a movie called The Tooth Fairy, which starts production this October, and it’s a romantic comedy in which she plays the girlfriend of The Rock (Dwayne Johnson).
The best part is that there are mixed reports about the actual plot line of the movie. Some reports say that it’s about The Rock trying to “save the tooth fairy kingdom,” while others say it’s about a 6 year old girl who is crushed when The Rock tells her that the tooth fairy isn’t real – in either case, I have no idea how Ashley would fit in. Still others report that The Rock will be playing a minor league hockey player nicknamed The Tooth Fairy, and Ashley will be playing his girlfriend, a single mother of two children. That sounds the most plausible.
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this to you guys before, but if you have ever watched Ashley have to make out with someone in a movie, you may have noticed that she’s a smashmouth kisser. This is not a good thing. Pay attention from here on out – if you happen to see her in a movie being replayed on TV, just watch how she kisses. She is TERRIBLE at it. She keeps her lips all bunched up and then she just presses them onto her victim. It’s icky.
Anyway, don’t say you never learned anything at The Mock Dock.