Tag Archive for 'Sports'

You Know How Normally Billy Mays Is Like, One Of The Most Annoying People Ever?

Not in this ad. In this ad I love him. He’s way less soul crushing.

So I watched a bowl game…whoopie


As I have said before, I am a “home town” sports fan, basically meaning that I like the Colts and that’s about it. However, with the writer’s strike going on, and not having cable, there was NOTHING on last night on the five stations that come in at my apartment (if you must know, Fox, NBC, ABC, CBS, and MTV Tres). So my husband and I watched a bit of the Orange Bowl. Wow. There was prime mocking territory there people. Who knew? 

My first thing to mock was the gentleman pictured here. I have two comments: where do you find that size shirt? And why don’t they make larger sunglasses and watches for men of this size? He should have worn those clown sunglasses you can buy at the Dollar Store, and borrowed Flava Flav’s clock bling.

Secondly, and most importantly, I heard something hilarious last night. The announcer, who was commenting on the performance of KU’s center/quarterback duo said, and I quote, “he should strap himself to him, and ride him all night.” Without a word, my hubby and I turned to each other and he said “you must mock dock this immediately”, which is why we are married. My only thought is that this sports caster must have had Tom Brady on his mind.

Ebony and Ivory


I think boxing is like, the gayest dumbest sport ever.  And this photo of two fighters nipple to nipple in boxer shorts with creepy old men standing by smiling? I would classify this as evidence of its gayness.

Florida Graduates Is Real Smart

Channing Crowder, Miami Dolphins Linebacker, is apparently NOT an expert on geography.  He recently had this to say:

“I couldn’t find London on a map if they didn’t have the names of the countries. I swear to God. I don’t know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that. I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name.”

This is a University of Florida graduate, people.  Who are the school administrators who allowed this joker to have a college degree?  The same ones that allowed Miss South Carolina to graduate from high school?

The Mother of all Mullets

Gators tote bag?  Cell phone sideclipped to jeans? “T-Bone” tattoo? Face paint?  Total turn ons.  But words can’t adequately describe the height of my arousal at the sight of this masterpiece of a mullet.  Someone start me a cold shower.

Good ole’ fashion man love…

So I don’t consider myself a sports buff…I really only like to watch the “home teams” if you will. So, last night I actually tuned in to Monday Night Football to watch the Indianapolis Colts destroy yet another team. I was distracted, however, by the fools that were commentating the event. Now, I don’t know these gentlemens’ names, nor do I care. I could just not get over how much of a man-crush these fellows had for Tom Brady.

Tom Brady wasn’t even playing last night…but they brought up his name 10 to 15 times a minute. It was like they were three eighth grade girls sitting in their pajamas, writing the name of Tom Brady in their notebooks over and over…writing their first names with Brady as their last name…dreaming and giggling about Tommy and his tight butt. It was ridiculous. Here is a sample of the dialogue from last night…or at least how I remember it:

“Manning throws to Harrison…speaking of throwing…you know who throws, like, AMAZING? Tom Brady. He seriously could throw me anywhere he wants.”

“Oh I know. Manning has impressive stats tonights, but GAWD, did you see Tom Brady yesterday? He was looking H….O….T….HOT!”

“Sanders with the tackle…what a great defense Indianapolis has. You know what would make it better? Tom Brady. I’m not even sure what that means, but geeze…I can’t get that guy off my mind!”

“We would like to welcome Russell Crowe to the box. Hi Russell…so tell me, if you could play any football player in a movie who would it………………..it would be Tom Brady, right? I KNEW it!”

David Beckham Gets Another Owie


Injury-prone David Beckham had to retire from a Wednesday game against a Mexican team after he collided with an opposing player.  Contrary to what you might think happened given the picture above, the owie ended up being a sprained KNEE, and not a sprained wee-wee.

I’m still looking for a report on whether these two became extricated from one another.  I’ll keep you posted.

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