Tag Archive for 'spandex'

Another Person Who Shouldn’t Be Allowed Near Spandex

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What sort of pose is this?  I mean, who stands like this?  Ever?

You know what I’d like to do?  Present this woman with a good sports bra.

Sorry posting has been non-existent today, mockdockers.  Daisy and I spent the day at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway watching the Moto GP race with our respective spousal units as well as Daisy’s precious stepson.  You should see the way her stepson cringes whenever he sees me, because he knows he won’t escape my hugs.  It’s simply not an option.  Mr. Daisy has kind of accepted the fact that I’m a hugger, but stepson Daisy still cringes.  Plus, he’s 15, so he’s at that age which makes it TOTALLY UNCOOL to be hugged by anyone over the age of, say, 18.

All of that makes me want to hug him even more.  🙂

I’m sure he’ll be extra excited that I’m telling the hugging story along with the above picture, too.

It’s Been Quite A Day, Mockdockers!!

So listen!  Today was a banner day for photos.  First, Holmes sent me some pictures of people who should not ever ever ever be allowed NEAR spandex, let alone wear it.  Behold:

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So first there was that.  And THEN, an alert and astute mockdocker sent me several submissions for the FAIR CONTEST!  So it’s ON, you guys.  You need to get in the game, so that you can compete for the big prize.  If you’re at a fair, or fair-like event, you need to be ready to capture mock-worthy subjects, and then you need to email them to me, and then there will be a vote and prizes will be awarded and it’ll be all sorts of fun.

And THEN – another alert and astute mockdocker sent me a link to a fabulous new site called www.peopleofwalmart.com.  And it’s fabulous because, similar to The Mock Dock, it’s got a collection of photo submissions of mock-worthy people.  Only that site’s differentiator is that all of the mock-worthy subjects are Wal-mart shoppers.  Whereas I, on the other hand, prefer equal opportunity mocking of people in every possible place.

Still – it’s a hilarious site.

If you are a fan of The Mock Dock on facebook, then you know by now that I have ordered the Shake Weight, and expect it to arrive sometime next week.  I will take photos and perhaps video, UNLESS….when I use it the flab on my arms starts flapping around like I’m some sort of rabid bat.  If that happens, you may be stuck with just a still picture.  Or perhaps I’ll have Mini-Mock demonstrate its use.  🙂

Beware of Skanky Landbeasts

Look at this spandex sandwich.  I’m sure there’s all kinds of photoshopping involved, but just imagine for a moment that there isn’t.  How’s that for a nightmare?

I appreciate self-confidence, but there is NO REASON that these women should feel like these outfits are ok.  Under any circumstances.  At all.  Whatsoever.

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