Tag Archive for 'shoes'

THEY HAVE ARRIVED

YOU GUYS! The shoes have arrived! The ones that I ended up getting for $9.99 from ebay!!! The ones I told you about right here! And they are PERFECTION. And in black already, so I don’t have to mess with dye or any of that nonsense. They are ready-to-wear.

I promised pics. And they are below. You know what cracks me up? I was thinking that I better write, “Ignore the mess in my closet and the fact that I haven’t vacuumed it yet this weekend” and then I realized that the entire community of mockdockers not only knows what the inside of my closet looks like, but you all know that it’s perpetually messy, too. And oddly, there is something strangely comforting about that.

Anyway, ignore the mess in my closet. And ignore the fact that I haven’t vacuumed yet this weekend. JUST LOOK AT THE SHOES, and how they can totally go with fancy dresses or dressed down in jeans. THEY ARE PERFECTION.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! I love shoes. Especially when they’re $9.99. 🙂

A Quick Shoe Update

Hey, remember last week when I told you about that pair of shoes from Kohl’s that I wanted? And how Daisy convinced me to order the blue ones and just dye them black? And how I went ahead and ordered the blue ones?

Yeah. This is the email I got from Kohl’s this weekend:

We’re sorry, but we’ve modified Order Number 48#### for the following reason(s): 48####?!?!?: System Cancellation. Your changes are reflected in the Order Summary below. Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience. Any Kohl’s Gift Card(s) you used for this purchase have been restored to the value they held prior to this order (see details below). Additionally, your credit card has not been charged for the cancelled item(s).

Can you even believe that? So what they were basically telling me is, “Hey Mock! We know you were going to try and sneak dye these shoes, and so you can suck it. We’re not sending them to you.”

So you know what I did? I looked on ebay and found a pair of display ones, IN BLACK, for $9.99. In my size. Miraculously. Now, it says that there are little holes drilled in the bottom (where the security/display tag thingy gets attached) and that one of the heels is slightly scuffed, but in the pictures they looked fine, and they were TEN DOLLARS, and so I bought them.

I will alert you when they arrive, because I know that right now, my shoes are All. You. Can. Think. About.

This Is Why I Love Daisy

BEHOLD: Our post-lunch IM chat:

Mock: I was just at Kohl’s and saw the most fabulous shoe on display, which was my size, in the color I wanted, and it had no match, and they are now discontinued. And to top it all off, it was super comfortable. HATE.
Daisy: Why on earth would that horrific place torture you like that? BASTARDS.
Mock: I KNOW! I even looked on line – they have them available in blue, but I don’t want blue.
Daisy: You should write a letter, threatening to sue with a shoe lawyer for your obvious pain and suffering. Seriously. Shoe lawyers exist, right? I mean, they have lawyers for everything these days.
Mock: They SHOULD. We should be shoe lawyers.
Daisy: We totally should.
Mock: You would be the most compassionate and understanding shoe lawyer ever…
Daisy: We could have a joint practice….
Mock: …and you wouldn’t let Kohl’s do this kind of crap…
Daisy: SHOESUE.com
Mock: …because YOU UNDERSTAND THE PAIN.
Daisy: I do.
Mock: SHOESUE – – HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Daisy: Between them having a clothing line sponsored by Ashley McKnowItAll and the shoe thing, we may have to boycott Kohl’s.
Daisy: Again…..BASTARDS
Mock: Look at them and imagine their awesomeness in black:

Daisy: Ok those are adorable. Are you getting them online?
Mock: No – they don’t exist anymore in black, only that dark blue, which I have no use for.
Daisy: T-straps are totally flattering on everyone, too.
Mock: And they’re super soft suede – they’re SO COMFY
Daisy: I don’t know – I’d probably get the blue, then buy an outfit to go with them. But I’m weird like that.
Mock: HA
Mock: That’s a pretty limiting blue, unless you just do jeans and a white top.
Daisy: My Mom bought turquoise shoes once, when I was a kid, and then said, “now I have to find a fabulous outfit to wear with them.” This is obviously where I get my sickness.
Mock: HA
Daisy: You could totally wear those shoes with red, white, or black.
Mock: I don’t know if I can describe for you how comfy and fabulous the lone single black shoe was. I wonder if I could buy the blue ones, and then DYE them.
Daisy: I found the perfect white blouse like two weeks ago, and it had makeup all over it. And there was no guarantee it would come off. And they only offered 10% off, which was completely and totally lame.
Mock: That IS lame
Daisy: So I walked away and almost cried. I feel your pain.
Mock: YES – THIS is the pain.
Daisy: OMG. You COULD dye them.
Mock: I could???? You can do that? How do you do that?
Daisy: You could dye them. Or call Candie’s corporate and bitch about how you want them in black and SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE in the United States has to have a pair. I just don’t believe that they don’t exist.
Mock: I already wrote Kohl’s and am waiting for a reply. They’re the only distributor for Candie’s. And if they HAVE the one shoe, then SOMEWHERE there’s the other, and it’s got to be IN THAT STORE.
Daisy: You’re right! I mean, did it just get up and walk away? I think not.
Mock: Exactly
Daisy: Again….BASTARDS.
Mock: I love that you will spend this much time with me discussing shoes. 🙂
Daisy: Wait. Holy crap…they’re 22 bucks???? OMG GET THE BLUE ONES.
Mock: Really???
Daisy: You’re crazy if you don’t for 22 bucks. Seriously.
Mock: Can I dye them?
Daisy: Yes. 22 bucks? That’s like lunch. And you could ask a bridal place that dyes shoes if they’d dye them. I bet they would.
Mock: Hmmmmm – I find this idea intriguing.
Daisy: Bridesmaids always wear dyed shoes.
Mock: And black has to be SUPER easy.
Daisy: C dyed the bridesmaid DRESS she wore in my wedding.
Mock: OMG – then SURELY this is an easy feat
Daisy: No lie. It was a royal blue dress….the cut was awesome…..and she loved it, but didn’t want it to be royal blue….so she dyed it black. And wore it a lot, she said.
Mock: Holy crap.
Daisy: You can do this. I’m just sayin.
Mock: Ok. So I should order the blue ones? Should I wait to see if Kohl’s responds first or just do it?
Daisy: Order the blue ones…then order the black ones, too, if they find them. 44 bucks for two awesome, comfortable pairs of shoes? Slam. Dunk. There should be no negotiation here.
Mock: OMG you are SO RIGHT
Mock: I’m doing it.
Daisy: You buy the shoes if they’re under 25 bucks. No questions asked.
Mock: I love you.
Daisy: I am right. I’m not right about most things, but I am usually right about shoes.
Daisy: And I love you. 🙂 Now go forth and purchase.
Mock: This is like the best IM conversation ever. I may have to Mock it.
Daisy: It kinda is. Ha ha ha ha. You should!

And then a few minutes later:

Mock: Done. Bought. I even got $2.20 off because I found a 10% promo coupon.
Daisy: I’m sending you a text message with a very important life lesson. it’s a picture….should be there in a few.

That’s a plaque which hangs in Daisy’s home office. A commandment, if you will.  Words to live by.

This is why I turn to Daisy in times of shoe crisis.  LOVE.

So Confused.

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this photo of Beyonce, and I am totally baffled by how someone could put together clothing which looks like it was retrieved from a dumpster, with one of the most fabulous pairs of shoes I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Why would she ruin awesome shoes like this?  Why?

Doesn’t she know it’s my birthday weekend?

I Interrupt The Economic Crisis, War On Terror, And The Inevitability Of Socialized Healthcare To Bring You FAR MORE IMPORTANT NEWS.

You guys, according to this, my beloved Victoria has bunions.

I’ll wait a moment while you reassess your entire life.

So, an alert and astute mockdocker linked me to the article, which highlights some of Vicky B’s best shoes, and also shows a picture of her bunions. What are we, as a society, supposed to DO with ourselves if Victoria Beckham has to take a break from high heels? How are we to go on?

I decided to do a youtube search on Victoria Beckham shoes, and I don’t know why I’m surprised at ALL by this, but there are a crapload of videos featuring her feet. Above is just ONE.

If you could go ahead and just add her bunioned feet to your prayer list tonight, that’d be great. Meantime, let’s just all try to move on with our lives as best we can.

(sniff)

Mock’s Tip O’ The Day

Here’s a helpful hint if you’re trying to save money, or even if you’re simply trying to avoid spending money.

Never ever ever ever ever shop with Daisy.

Daisy is like the worst possible person to take shopping with you if you are trying to avoid buying something.  Let me tell you about our lunch hour.

We went to Marshall’s, because she wanted to find a couple of tops.  I wanted to look for a pair of simple tan flats that would replace the ones I’ve worn for the past 4 years and which are currently being held together (barely) with just a few remaining threads of leather.  And while she looked for tops, I scoured the shoe aisles, with absolutely no luck finding a good replacement pair.  And then it happened.

I heard the voices of angels, and a light shone onto the most perfect shoes I have ever seen.  In the clearance aisle, no less.

But here’s the thing.  These shoes were not replacement shoes.  These shoes were shoes that were absolutely unnecessary.  They were gorgeous, dark brown, 4 inch closed-heeled sandals which I couldn’t have needed any less.  I mean, I HAVE dark brown leather sandals already.  And they’re sandals I can actually walk in.  The shoes in Marshall’s were higher than anything else I’ve worn ever.  But they were SPEAKING TO ME.  Along with a chorus of angels.  Conducted by Robbie Williams.  Naked.  (KIDDING – just want to make sure Mr. Mock is reading this and not skimming).

So I put them on, and hobbled my way over to where Daisy was, and I said, “LOOK at these shoes.”  And she gasped and said, “OMG – they’re fabulous.  And they’re TAHARI.”  This meant nothing to me since I’m painfully ignorant about shoe brands unless they’re Merrells or Christian Louboutins, and I only know of Louboutins because of Daisy’s tutelage.  So I said, “Is that good?” and Daisy said, “YES.  Taharis are fabulous.  You have to get them.” 

So this is when my conscience kicked into high gear.  My conscience said, “Mock.  Seriously.  You don’t need these shoes.  You can’t even WALK in these shoes.  It doesn’t matter that they were originally $100 and now they’re only $49.99.  That’s still a preposterous amount of money to spend on shoes that you don’t need and can’t walk in.”  So I repeated what my conscience said to Daisy.  And you know what she said?

She said, “Mock.  What would Victoria Beckham do?”

Now I ask you.  How was I supposed to argue with that? 

And further, she said, “I read once that Victoria Beckham said she herself had to practice in order to learn how to walk in high heels.”

Victoria Beckham had to learn to walk in heels?”  I thought.  Well, if SHE had to practice, then certainly I could practice and learn to walk in them too.  And maybe, just maybe, I could attain just a tiny fraction of her fabulousness.

So I said, “You are the worst person to talk someone out of buying something they don’t need EVER.”  And Daisy said, “Yes.  Yes I am.  I will never ever ever tell you to NOT buy something.  Especially if it’s a pair of Tahari shoes.  Just look at the BOX they come in, for God’s sake.  I am going to LICK it.”

And she’s right. Even the BOX is fabulous.  And the soles of the shoes are gold with the word “Tahari” embossed into them.  So I think you know how this turns out.  I’m now the owner of an absolutely delicious pair of Tahari sandals.  I told Mr. Mock this story when he got home, and then I tried them on and showed them to him.  He said, “They are pretty cute.  But you’re going to break your ankles.”  Such is his confidence in my ability to channel Victoria.

Anyway, I’ve been practicing since I got home, and I think I’m getting better.  It’s hard work being fabulous, you guys.  But I’m determined. 

And you know what? You may not like them, and that’s ok.  We’re not going to have the same taste in everything.  See here, for example.  But I am so totally in love with these shoes I can barely contain myself.  I may sleep with them tonight.  So even if they result in two busted ankles, I’m going to be thanking Daisy for getting me one step closer to Victoria’s fabulosity.  BEHOLD:

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LOVE.

P.S. Don't forget! County/State Fair photo contest going on RIGHT NOW! See here for details: FAIR CONTEST!
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