Tag Archive for 'Sarah Jessica Parker'

Wow. There Is A Lot Going On Here.

Leroy sent me this picture of Sarah Jessica Parker a while ago, and I completely forgot about it until just now.

Between the wonky eyes, 87-year old hands, and completely uneven boobular area, I’m not sure where the mockery should begin.  I’ll let you guys make the call.

Eeew.

Madonna’s sort of in revival mode right now – what with Jane Lynch’s Vogue in the post below, and the entire Glee songbook being all Madonna-ified in next week’s episode.  But if there is anything about Madonna that does NOT need to be glorified or replicated in any way, it’s her arms.

Sarah Jessica Parker – please. I’m begging you.  Do not do this to yourself.  Put a little meat on those arms.

And for God’s sake -that waist doesn’t even look HUMAN anymore.

Dumb Shoes

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I’m assuming these were especially designed for Sarah Jessica Parker.

Hey – today is Bunny’s birthday, and so I will be gone for much of the day hanging out with her to celebrate.  I know you’ll all keep yourselves well-entertained in the comments, and I will be back this evening to join in!

Explain.

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WHAT is going on with Sarah Jessica Parker’s shouldular area?  I mean, I know she’s muscular and sinewy and stuff, but there are tendons showing up in this picture that I wasn’t even aware were IN a human body.

Clearly, the horse transformation is nearly complete.

Sarah Jessica Parker’s New Shoe Line

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KIDDING!  Sarah Jessica Parker has nothing to do with these shoes, that I am aware of.  But that’s the first thing I thought of when I got this photo in my email from an alert and astute mockdocker.

I kind of want these.  They look like they’d be warm.

Guess what I did today you guys!  I helped with yard work.  I’m not kidding.  I really helped.  If you asked Mr. Mock if I was helpful, he would totally admit that I was.  I power washed the front walk.  With a power washer, even.  It was all sorts of fun.  Tomorrow, I am hoping that Mr. Mock finds something else for me to power wash, because as it happens, I am AWESOME at it.

I know that doesn’t really have anything to do with the hoof shoes, though.  But you know I’m easily distracted. 

Oh look!  Rat slippers!

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P.S. Don't forget! County/State Fair photo contest going on RIGHT NOW! See here for details: FAIR CONTEST!

Best. Cranianular Area. EVER.

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An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this photo today and said, “Look!  This guy’s head looks like a thumb.”

If that description doesn’t make you giggle as much as when Peter Griffin said Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a foot on Family Guy, I don’t know if we can be friends.

I Have Just Lost All Respect For Mel Gibson

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First of all you guys, WE SURVIVED BRITNEY.  It was so super fabulous.  I’m not going to write anything about it till later when I have a chance to download a pic of us in our Britney get-ups.  But I’ll give you all the scoop in a bit.

ANYWAY, about 87 seconds after Mel Gibson’s impending divorce was announced, he has already decided to step out holding hands with his new and obviously much younger girlfriend.

Is there anything more tired and cliche than a middle aged dude who divorces his wife for a much younger woman?  Seriously.  It’s just so so so so tired.

In other news, despite rumors of THEIR impending divorce, all is well in Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick land.  They are, in fact, going to have twins with the help of a surrogate.  So sweet.  So unlike Mel Gibson.

More later, guys.  Off to have a leisurely, fattening, glorious Chicago brunch.

Yyyyyyyyyeah.

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Where does one even begin to come up with suitable adjectives to describe the monstrosities that are these outfits?  Where, I ask you?

If your answer is the 7th level of English language hell, then I would agree with you.

She’s Doing This To Be Funny, Right?

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So here’s Sarah Jessica Parker going about her normal business, looking totally like a normal person doing normal things and wearing a normal outfit.  Right?

Except look at her boots:

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You can’t tell me that she is UNAWARE that there was an entire website dedicated to how much she looks like a horse.  So assuming she was aware, why would she wear a pair of boots that split in the toe-ular area?  These are HOOVES, you guys.

She gets this, right?  And this is like a “Ha ha – I’m totally in on this joke, paparazzi people!  Look at me being a good sport about my horseness!”  Right?

I can’t fathom the alternative, which is that she genuinely likes these boots.  NOT POSSIBLE.

What The…

What in the name of all that is mockworthy IS this?  I mean, she’s POSING here, as if to suggest that she is finished dressing. Clearly, Sarah Jessica Parker is in the MIDDLE of dressing, right?  Because this does not resemble a finalized outfit to me. This resembles an outfit that you might throw together if you were, say, visiting your grandmother’s house, and you were in her guestroom shower the morning after she fed you your favorite biscuits and gravy dinner, and all of a sudden a fire broke out and all you had time to do was grab the first 5 items of clothing out of her closet that you could find before running outside to save your own life.  That’s what this outfit looks like.

HATE.

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