Tag Archive for 'Ryan Seacrest'

WARNING: This Probably Does Permanent Ear Damage

It’s Kim Kardashian’s new song. If you’re thinking, “I didn’t know Kim Kardashian could sing,” let me assure you, she can’t.

Landbeast Alert!

SP32-20090617-210844

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this photo, and I can’t be certain but I think it’s Rosie O’Donnell and Ryan Seacrest.

I LOVE This Picture

sp32-20090521-155810

Ryan looks positively RABID in this photo. Like he’s looking at Kris Allen’s earlobe, and thinking it looks really tasty, and he’s going in for a bite.

LOVE.

And So It Begins.

sp32-20081215-111119

We’re down to the top 13 on American Idol.  And this is the point in the season where I get even more obsessed with the show than I already was, which I realize is unfathomable to many of you who know me personally and hear me talk about it incessantly.

I have every intention of doing my weekly recap of the performances, and for those of you who don’t care what I think about the performances, or American Idol for that matter, feel free to just skip these posts altogether.  But for those of you who DO watch the show, I want to hear your thoughts on the performances too.  So COMMENT for crying out loud.  It’s no fun just talking to myself.

Jump in for the recap of Michael Jackson night!

Continue reading ‘And So It Begins.’

Awwwwkward!

Ryan Seacrest is such a tool. Watch this video of him trying to high-five the sweet, awesome-voiced blind dude from AI last night. I mean, he tried to save it by grabbing the dude’s hand and TELLING him he was giving him a high-five, but it was just PAINFUL.

Props to whoever actually took the time to video tape this from their TV set, but total demerits for misspelling “impairment.”

This May Shock You…

sp32-20080905-153047

…but it’s entirely possible that Ryan Seacrest is gay.  I know!  It’s stunning!  He told TV Guide recently:

 “I’ve advocated for years that it’s OK for dudes to do things together. I’m fine going to the spa and getting massaged with my buddy. I quite like it.”

Yeah.  There’s being comfortable in your own maleness like Mr. Mock is – such that he has no problem saying when another guy is a good looking guy, which I love.  And then there’s being comfortable in someone ELSE’S maleness, which Ryan Seacrest clearly is.  Often. Probably several times a week.

Ryan Seacrest Was Attacked by a Shark Today

Didn’t think I would type that sentence today. Hmm…

Anywhoo…that’s right folks…American Idol host Ryan Seacrest was bitten by a (baby) shark today. He said: “I was bitten by a shark… (there were) a thousand people in the ocean, and I get bit by the shark.”

Ohh…ho…hooo….good ironical twist you have there Cresty. I think the more appropriate quote would be from a shark’s perspective. I imagine one saying: “Ryan Seacrest was in the ocean today, and the only shark that could get a bite was a baby.”

Total shark fail.

ALERT: SHOCKING ALLEGATIONS ROCK THE INTERNET

jasoncastrosmoke

This photo is floating around of Jason Castro, in which he looks as though he might potentially possibly perhaps participate in some recreational drug usage. OMG OMG OMG!!!

Seriously – is anyone really surprised at this?  Jason Castro seems not only like he might take a hit every now and then, but he seems perpetually high.  I can’t recall an episode of American Idol in which he did NOT appear to be totally wasted.

Stay tuned until the next shocking allegation in which it will be revealed that Ryan Seacrest might be GAY.

 

Men Like David Beckham

So apparently AskMen.com has announced their “top men of 2007” list, and David Beckham is on the tippy tippy top of that list, the result of a poll of over 87,000 men.    They say that “between his tremendous talent, English charm, stylish wardrobe, and slick haircuts, Becks is single-handedly making soccer relevant stateside.”

I get this.  David Beckham could be sitting on a porto-potty picking his nose, belching and biting his own toenails, and there would still be women (and probably some men too) clamoring about to expound on his dreaminess. Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Clive Owen also made the list – and these are also understandable.  They’re guys that other guys see and think, “Yeah – it’s probably pretty good to be that guy.”  But you know who was 27 on that list?

RYAN SEACREST.  Which makes me really question a) the voting authenticity and b) the qualifications required to be nominated for this list.  Has anyone even yet determined if Ryan is 100% male?  

Related Posts with Thumbnails