Tag Archive for 'perfume'

Attention Townspeople: I Will Not Product Test This

According to this, Lady Gaga is going to release a fragrance which will smell like blood and semen.

Apparently, she’s out of ideas on ways to dress shockingly, so she’s moving on to shocking scents now.

She is ridiculous.  But not nearly as ridiculous as someone who would Actually Buy This Perfume.

It’s My Birthday + 3 Days!

I got a really nice summer robe from my folks along with a new bottle of my most favorite perfume ever, Pleasures Intense.  Because I don’t settle for just plain old pleasures.  I prefer the intense kind.  This was after I got fed my favorite beef ‘n noodles meal and had yummy bread and cheese and salad and then had cheesecake for dessert.

And it occurred to me that I had written about Pleasures Intense waaaaay back when I first discovered it, so I did a search on that name here on The Mock Dock, and it took me to this post about it. And I re-read that post, and I don’t like to brag or anything, but I was pretty funny in it.  Especially the part about the tampons.

I kill me.

Anyway, today I had Hacienda chips and salsa for breakfast, in honor of my birthday + 3 days.

I’ll keep you apprised of any and all new birthday developments.

OMG I Hope This Is True

winehouse

According to this, Amy Winehouse is pursuing her own line of PERFUME.

Now, of all the possible things Amy Winehouse could try to peddle, would you have ever guessed a FRAGRANCE would be on the list?

Assignment for Mockdockers:  Write a 2-3 line advertisement for Amy’s perfume, which includes in it a description of the smell.  Here’s mine!

New, from Amy Winehouse – Methamphetamology.  A captivating fragrance with undertones of cement, ether and morning breath, this new fragrance from Amy has whispers of sulfer, soft hints of gently aged egg salad, capped off with the delicious aroma of fresh mulch.  You won’t just feel beautiful.  You’ll feel unconscious.  Methamphetamology.  Buy it today at your local dollar store.

What Do You Suppose This Smells Like?

This is one of the promotional poster thingies for Britney Spears’ new fragrance, Hidden Fantasy.  I am guessing that it probably smells like a combination of musk, doritos and chapstick.

Bunny and I were at an Ulta’s not terribly long ago, which, just like Sephora, is completely overwhelming and impossible to leave without spending tons of money on crap you don’t need but are CONVINCED will help you look like a supermodel.  Anyway, we were smelling all sorts of perfumes and came across one by Sarah Jessica Parker – I can’t recall the name of it but it smelled really good.  That is, until I sprayed it onto my wrist, at which point it smelled like chalk.  I don’t know what it is about my personal body chemistry and Sarah Jessica Parker’s perfume, but the two do not mix.

I also smelled some fragrance by Paris HIlton, and I am not making this up you guys – it was as if someone had figured out a way to liquefy and then bottle skank.  It’s not even that it smelled skanky – it just smelled like SKANK.

Intensely Pleasurable Scents

So in Chicago this past weekend, Mr. Mock bought me new perfume.  It’s like a new version of a perfume I’ve worn forever called “Pleasures” only this one is “Pleasures Intense” – which you might think is just a stronger form of Pleasures but in reality it’s a totally different fragrance altogether.  And can I just tell you how completely AWESOME I smell?

I’m serious. This is the first scent I’ve ever worn which makes me want to sniff my own wrists all throughout the day.  I’m an intense pleasure to be around, quite frankly.

Mr. Mock is not a scent-wearer.  When we first dated, I bought him some cologne of some sort as a surprise gift, because I figured that was what new girlfriends were supposed to do, and he was totally sweet and acted like it was the best present he’d ever received ever, when in fact it was every bit as useful to him as, say, a box of tampons.

Mr. Mock is, happily, one of those ridiculously gorgeous guys who does absolutely NOTHING to himself in order to look good.  He emerges from the shower, after using some totally generic shampoo like Prell and totally normal soap like Zest or Dial, shakes his head a few times to get rid of the excess water, brushes his teeth and is ready to apply clothing.  That is his entire bathroom routine.  He does not even own a comb.  In fact, I am not completely confident he could correctly identify a comb in an accessories/toiletries line-up.  And it’s not because of a lack of hair.  Anyone who knows Mr. Mock can attest that he has more hair on his head than any man is really entitled to have.  It’s my most favorite feature of his (that I can talk about and still stay kid-friendly, that is).

Anyway, his routine is in STARK CONTRAST to MY bathroom routine, which naturally involves many sizes of bottles of products and potions and creams and ointments and astringents and moisturizers and lotions, most of which do absolutely nothing except make it really difficult to pack lightly for trips. That said, I am amazingly quick at readying myself in the mornings.  I can be showered and made-up and coiffed in about 40 minutes.  Still, this is an ETERNITY compared to the 3 minutes it takes Mr. Mock.  And it is totally aggravating that he looks as good as he does with absolutely no effort whatsoever.

Men.  They have no idea how good they have it.

Related Posts with Thumbnails