Tag Archive for 'octomom'

So…This Is Happening.

But as of right now, she won’t be touching or kissing anyone for money. Because, you know, THAT would be icky.

You Know Who I Still Hate With The Fury Of A Billion Suns?

If your first reaction was to say “Ashley Judd” – congratulations, you’re partially correct.  Because my feelings haven’t changed about her.  But in this particular instance, I’m talking about HER:

According to this,  Octomom hates her babies and wishes they’d never been born.

Way to go, Octomom.  Way to GUARANTEE that your kids will hate you and need extensive therapy.  Although, I suppose that was sort of a given.

She told In Touch magazine, “I hate the babies, they disgust me.  ‘My older six are animals, getting more and more out of control, because I have no time to properly discipline them. The only way I can cope is to lock myself in the bathroom and cry. Sometimes I sit there for hours and even eat my lunch sitting on the toilet floor. Anything to get peace and quiet.”

Meanwhile, there are photos of one of her kids EATING DRYWALL in her crappy house.  So yeah – while she’s locked up and crying in her bathroom, her kids are LITERALLY eating the walls.

It’s so bad, that she’s considered suicide.  “Some days I have thought about killing myself. I cannot cope.”

But don’t worry, mockdockers, because she does love the kids.  She just wishes she’d never had them.  “Obviously I love them – but I absolutely wish I had not had them,” she says.

Well, that’s a relief.  And to further ease your mind about her awesome parenting skills, take heart – for Octomom is drawing unemployment and taking advantage of all of your tax dollars to support herself and the kids, and is focusing on what matters most – finding a date.

She just filmed an episode of a TV dating show called Celebridate.  And she’s all sorts of confident.  “Ever since I was little, I was aware that men wanted me and the hardest thing was keeping them away.”


I officially hate any man who’s stupid enough to date her.

Holy Octocrap!

If you want to see how Octomom is earning her money lately, please click here.   If you want to sleep nightmare-free, do not click there.

If you don’t feel like clicking anything but would like a still photo depicting a scene from the video in the link above, then BEHOLD:

Octomom’s House To Be Foreclosed. Her Reaction? PARTAY!!!

Well, perhaps my post title isn’t entirely fair.  I mean, I don’t know when this picture was taken in relation to this news coming out.  But regardless, she’s probably going to get kicked out of her house due to not making timely payments on it.

I feel bad for the kids, who will hopefully be sent to live with NORMAL PEOPLE instead of this total waste of nipped, pulled, and surgically altered skin.

Look! It’s A Lunatic!

You know what would I think should happen? Congress should pass legislation which prevents Nadya Suleman from being allowed to exist in this country. Her kids can stay – perhaps they can move in with the Duggar family. But she’s gotta go.

I can’t imagine anything creating more bipartisanship than that kind of legislation.

Holy Mother Of Crap Someone Is Dating Octomom

BEHOLD:  The single-most masochistic man in the universe, followed closely behind by the single-most annoying woman in the universe, who is clearly laughing at him for agreeing to go out with her.

Enjoy the ride, dude.  You won’t feel a thing.

(She’s had 14 kids, you see. Get it?  See what I did there?)

Holy Mother Of Obnoxious Laughs


If you already hated Octomom, you’re in for a whole new level of hatred once you hear her laughing on the Jimmy Kimmel show.

Part Two below:

Octomom Scoffs At Kate Gosselin’s Plastic Surgery And Bikini Shoot

BEHOLD: Nadya Suleman totally RIPPING on Kate Gosselin’s body, the fact that she’s had a tummy tuck, the fact that her body is “boxy” and the fact that she’s an “attention seeker.”

Can you even stand the hypocrisy? As if Nadya hasn’t had her face pulled in a million directions and her lips plumped up to slug-size. GAWD.

My favorite part is where she says that she’d NEVER do a bikini shoot, but that if she DID, she’d wear “cute little boy shorts” or something more classy.

Yeah. Fast forward to today:



You guys – check out this video of Octomom defending her insane fertility doctor, and saying that she hopes he doesn’t get his license suspended because WHAT IF SHE NEEDS TO GO BACK TO HIM OMG.

Then there’s all sorts of maniacal laughter.

How is she not institutionalized?

Halloween Costume


Huh.  For a second I thought this dude was trying to be Octomom for Halloween, but the beer is throwing me off.

It’s still possible he’s eaten her children though.

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