Tag Archive for 'Mischa Barton'

Mischa Barton Wears Mom Shorts, And Probably Has The Munchies

Nothing like a pair of morts to get you in the mood for some twinkies and potato chips, right?

And that joint probably has something to do with it too.

Doubt it’s a joint?  Would I ever steer you wrong?

She’s delightful, isn’t she?

Mischa Barton Should Not Be Allowed To Dress Herself

I have to assume that Mischa has a mirror, located somewhere in or around the general vicinity of the place in which she resides.

I mean, that’s a realistic assumption for a celebrity, isn’t it?

Wow.  This is totally heinous.

Speaking of which, I wore a pair of white jeans to my parents’ for Easter, and from the front when I looked in the mirror, I thought, “Yeah – I look decent.”  But then my dad sent me a picture from that day in which the back of me was photographed, and I was MORTIFIED by the size of my assular area.  I resolved right then and there to never wear those jeans again without some sort of longish shirt on.

So what I’m saying, is that I’m trying to do Mischa Barton a public service here.  Perhaps she just didn’t realize what her backside would look like, and if she just sees this picture, she’ll make the wise decision of never ever ever ever wearing these bananapants again.

Then again, that doesn’t explain the shoes.  She definitely would have seen those if she’d looked in a mirror.

Which brings me full circle, because Mischa Barton should not be allowed to dress herself.

Mischa Barton Is Hopeless

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As I understand it, the show that Mischa was doing got axed, and she is currently not working.  Which means she’s not wearing this get-up for a role.  She is wearing it on purpose. This is the outfit she chose to wear, for, you know…life.

I predict another hospital stay in her future.

Apparently…

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….Mischa Barton is now 106 years old.

Worst. Excuse. EVER.

Look. I’ve had my wisdom teeth taken out, all four at the same time, and I had the WORST experience ever – dry sockets, tons of pain, impossibly horrible taste in my mouth – just awful.

But here is the difference between me and Mischa Barton. I didn’t get put into a psychiatric ward for it. Plus, my voice doesn’t sound like a man’s.

My favorite part is when she describes how NOT LIKE the rest of the patients she is, because of her career. Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyeah.

This Is What Mischa Barton Wore On Her First Night Out Post Crazy-House

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I suppose it’s in honor of straight jackets or something.  But whatever it is, it’s horrific.  Can you imagine how difficult this dress is to APPLY?  Seriously- how do you get the “sleeves” on?

P.S. Don't forget! County/State Fair photo contest going on RIGHT NOW! See here for details: FAIR CONTEST!

Hey – Remember When Britney Was Committed?

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Remember?  She went totally crazy and they wouldn’t let her out of the hospital on account of that 5150 rule that allows hospitals to keep crazy people inside of them if they are a danger to themselves or others?

Mischa Barton is sooo the new Britney.  According to this, she’s all sorts of committed at Cedars-Sinai.

How freaked would you guys be if it turned out that she was being systematically poisoned by her own mother with windex?  I mean let’s face it.  She looks now, just like she did then:

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P.S. Don't forget! County/State Fair photo contest going on RIGHT NOW! See here for details: FAIR CONTEST!

I’m Confused

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When I look at the puppy, I melt.  I mean, LOOK AT THAT FACE.  But then I see this poor creature desperately avoiding making direct eye contact with Mischa Barton, and I see how NOT GOOD she looks here, and then I no longer like the picture.  I want to look at the puppy, but it requires looking at Mischa Barton.  There’s no win-win here.

This Needs To Be Investigated

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Remember in the movie The Sixth Sense, how Haley Joel Osment made friends with that little dead girl whose mom had poisoned her with windex?  And how that little dead girl was played by a young Mischa Barton?  And how they made her look really really really horrific in the movie, so as to remind the audience that her character was, in fact, dead?

Well, that was a MOVIE.  This picture of a grown Mischa Barton is in REAL LIFE.  Someone needs to see who’s been feeding her windex, because clearly that’s what’s going on here.

Mischa Barton Continues To Underwhelm

Has she just become incapable of dressing herself?  What is going on with her?

I’m not a fan of this apparent trend of wearing dead birds as dresses.  Yuck.

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