Tag Archive for 'Matt McConaughy'

Contact

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Hey – do you guys remember that movie Contact with Jodie Foster and Matt McConaughoweveryouspellit?  The one about the aliens?  I totally loved that movie.  LOVED it.  And it was the first thing I thought of when I saw Lady Gaga’s new fashion statement on the Ellen show.  Remember the thingy that they built in Contact that Jodie used to go through all the worm holes and eventually meet her dad on the beach?

THAT is what this headpiece is modeled after.  In fact, this could just be a scale version of that thingy.

Do you see it?

By Special Request

I have a new pal, who shall henceforth be known on this blog as Daisy.  Daisy’s husband alerted her today that Matt McConaughoweveryouspellit’s mom just came out with a book called I Amaze Myself, in which she describes the death of her husband.  Which would be really sad and emotional in ordinary circumstances.  In this circumstance, however, her husband died during relations of a sexual nature with her.  And what’s so disturbing about this is how, in what would ordinarily be a time of great grief and mourning, she was so fixated on wanting to show off his wee-wee.  She says:

On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love. But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened.  I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing. But it was just the best way to go!”

Apparently, when her husband couldn’t be revived, she insisted that he be taken from the house naked.  

“I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey – and his gift.”

You know, I’m proud of Mr. Mock’s gift too, but it’d probably be the last thing I’d be thinking about if he up and died on me.   I would be hysterical and devastated, and not at all inclined to show off his package to the EMT’s.  I kind of think I’m in the majority on this.  Back me up, mockdockers.

Daisy, by the way, intends to write her own autobiography entitled, “I F*CKING Amaze Myself.”  You know, to one-up Matt’s mom.  In which case, her husband should watch his back.

(kidding, Daisy!)

Levi Has Mad Smiling Skillz

I know I already posted a picture of Matt McConauhoweveryouspellit’s new kid, but you guys, he’s SUCH a cute baby and it’s so ridiculously lucky that they got basically a 45-second old kid to SMILE FOR THE CAMERA that I couldn’t help but post it.  How did they DO that?  Babies don’t even purposefully smile until they’re like 5 weeks old at the earliest, right?  But they wouldn’t photoshop a BABY, would they?

Anyway, seriously.  How adorable is he?

 

Baby Levi

OK Magazine is running the first photos of Matt McConahoweveryouspellit’s new baby boy, Levi.  In the accompanying article, Matt says,

“We found a great rhythm.  Contractions started kicking in. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it, we danced to it! I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music.  We were jamming! She was sweating. No painkiller, let’s go. She just clicked into that gear that only a woman has at a time like this. We’d been up for 40-something hours, and we went from dead tired to a really steadfast, ‘Let’s handle this… let’s stay in the rhythm. Don’t let the contraction be more than you.'”

If Matthew was the father of my about-to-be-born kid, and I was in labor, and he started going all Brazilian DJ on me, and he said “Don’t let the contraction be more than you” to me, I would punch him square in the face.

The kid’s awfully cute, I must say.  Get a good look at him now, because this might be the last time you see him NOT smoking pot.

 

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