Tag Archive for 'Mary Kate Olsen'

Mary Kate Olsen Might Be Homeless

Now, that’s just a guess based on her outfit, because it looks like she pulled an old tablecloth out of a dumpster and decided it would work as a dress.

I actually think I have the napkins that match this.

You Know Who I Not Only Hate But Am Convinced Is Actually The Devil?

Spencer Pratt.  You guys, I’m pretty sure that the word “douchebag” was invented specifically for the purpose of him.

So a few days ago, Mary Kate Olsen was on Letterman to promote some movie, and somehow the conversation turned to Spencer, because I guess they went to school together.  Anyway, Letterman obviously wanted MKO to spill the beans on Spencer, and MKO ended up saying that Spencer played soccer at her high school, and that he “did not have a good temper. He would walk off the field.”

In the big scheme of things, that’s really not that big of a slam, right?  I mean, it’s not a compliment, but it’s pretty tame as far as insults go.  At least, it’s tame compared to the insults I have in my head ALL THE TIME about Spencer Pratt.  Anyway, Spencer caught wind of this slight, and naturally sprinted on over to the closest US Magazine reporter he could find and said this:

“I don’t really get why she’d use my name to get press for her little indie film that no one’s going to see. She should probably focus more on not getting dressed in the dark than on me. I know I’ve made it in Hollywood when a famous troll is talking about me on Letterman. I forgive her, though…She’s had to go through life as the less cute twin, which must be tough.”

I’m not like some huge Mary Kate Olsen fan or anything, but I kind of hope that she uses her skabillions of dollars to hire someone to rip out all of Spencer’s fingernails, and then use them to scratch out his eyes, and then shove those eyeballs down his throat so that he can choke on them.

I might actually hate him more than Ashley Judd, which, as you all know, is saying something.

HATE.

Do You Want To Hear The Dumbest Thing Ever?

According to this, the reason that Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen look so retarded when they pose for pictures is because in order to create their “signature smiles” they smile whilst saying the word “prune”. 

But that’s not even the dumbest thing ever.

The dumbest thing ever is that I read that, and immediately looked in the mirror to smile and say “prune” so I could see if could replicate their retarded smiles.  Happily, I could not.  Unhappily, I will never get back the 10 seconds which I spent saying “prune” into the mirror.

BREAKING NEWS ALERT!!!!

This is one of the Olsen twins! I know!  I didn’t recognize her either!  It doesn’t even matter which one it is.  The point is, she looks like a normal, smiling, and I’ll even go so far as to say CUTE person.  I didn’t think either of the Olsen twins were capable of looking like anything other than ghosts with too much mascara and huge duck lips, so I consider this Really Big News.

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