Tag Archive for 'joaquin phoenix'

Ok, Joaquin, You Can Stop Now.

You know – I think Joaquin Phoenix is a great actor. I loved him in Walk The Line. But this whole I’m Going To Look Like A Homeless Person And Act Like I’m Perpetually High And Unaware Of My Surroundings Act has got to stop. Enough with the “music career.” This is just stupid now.

I love Dave Letterman SO MUCH. I love that he said, as the interview was wrapping up, “Well, Joaquin, I’m sorry you couldn’t be here tonight.”


You Know What’s Really Disturbing?


When I saw this photo of Joaquin Phoenix, my first thought was, “Oh look – there’s Joaquin Phoenix obviously preparing for some sort of cave man role in his next movie.”

And then I remembered that Joaquin Phoenix eloquently informed us months ago that he has quit acting.

You know what he’s doing now?  He’s trying to break into rap.  I’m not even making that up, you guys.  Casey Affleck is apparently making a documentary about Joaquin’s attempt to become a rap singer.  And rumor has it that Sean Skiddley Do Puffy De Do Bop Daddy Combs is going to produce his first album.

I don’t know, you guys.  Sean Puff Daddy Combs seems like he prefers a cleaner look than what Joaquin is currently sporting.



Joaquin Phoenix is losing his mind.

There is no other explanation for his appearance, especially since he swore off acting a few months ago. This is clearly not for a role.  This is just him living his life.


Joaquin Phoenix Does Not Enjoy Enunciating

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this video of Joaquin Phoenix “announcing” his retirement from acting so that he can concentrate on his music.

Coupla observations. First of all, Wah-keen looks like a homeless person in need of a bath. Secondly, he’s HIGH AS A KITE.

I totally love the interviewer in this SO MUCH. I love his look of confusion at the end of his follow up question to Casey Affleck. It’s like he kind of thinks he’s either just broken a huge story or he’s been completely duped by Joaquin and Casey, and he’s not sure which. Frankly, I’m not sure either, since they are actors.

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