Tag Archive for 'Jessica Simpson'

Jessica Simpson Looks…Tired.

I know this has nothing to do with Jessica Simpson, but you guys, on the way to Cincy today we got to stop at a Speedway gas station and GUESS WHAT KIND OF COFFEE I GOT?

Oatmeal Cookie.

Oatmeal Cookie flavored COFFEE.  And it was $.99 for TWENTY OUNCES.  It was pretty much the best thing I’ve ever tasted ever.

Jessica Simpson could use a cup or seven.  Full blast on the caffeine.

Jessica Simpson Wants Everyone To See This Picture

I know, because she put it up on her own twitter page.

Here’s some advice I’d give to the dude who’s kissing her.  Watch this video.

Girl, Please.

Jessica Simpson is apparently dating the dude in the picture, and he’s apparently either a current football player or an ex-football player or in some way associated with football. As you can tell, I care deeply about the details.

But none of that really matters because OMG LOOK AT HER DRESS.  That is the most heinous piece of fabric I’ve ever seen on her, and that is definitely saying something, because Jessica Simpson is a notoriously lousy dresser.

You know what this made me think of?  That hilarious video of her singing with Jewel and both of them making the MOST. RIDICULOUS. FACES. AND NOISES. EVER.  I know I’ve posted it before, but I don’t care.  It amuses me. LOOK at how much sex Jewel wants to have with the microphone, and LOOK how many facial seizures Jessica is having. Ridiculous.

Jessica Simpson: You Are A Moron.

She should really just stop speaking in public. I think that’d be best for all of us.

Jessica Simpson Has A Filthy Mouth

And I mean that literally.

You Know Who’s A Total Jerk?

John Mayer.  I really can’t stand him.  Just look at some of the quotes from his recent interview with Playboy.  He TOTALLY DISHES on his sex life with Jessica Simpson, for crying out loud.  I mean – how completely inappropriate is that?

If there is any certainty to be gleaned from his interview, it’s that no girl in her right mind would ever ever ever marry that a$$clown.  He will, deservedly, grow old alone.  Pathetic and alone.

HATE.

I Have Nothing To Say

I’m absolutely news-less today.  But I saw this picture, and had to post it.

Happy Friday evening!

Fashion Failure

2009-09-04_125827

HIDEOUS.

Jessica Simpson looks like a cross between Elvira and Cruella DeVille, with worse hair than either of them.   And this is apparently at a fashion show.

Wow.

It’s Over

According to People, Jessica Simpson got dumped by Tony Romo.

There’s going to be all sorts of “we were just going in different directions” and “we just didn’t make time for each other” and other such nonsense given as reasons for the breakup, but I think I know what’s really going on here.

Tony finally heard Jessica Simpson’s version of Robbie Williams’ Angel. If that’s not a reason to break up with her, I don’t know what is.

P.S. Don't forget! County/State Fair photo contest going on RIGHT NOW! See here for details: FAIR CONTEST!

Why?

Why is she allowed to sing in public?

Actually, that’s probably not fair. I mean, if you just listen to this without looking at it, it’s awful, but it’s not monstrously awful. If you WATCH it though, then it’s monstrously hideously horribly awful. Those faces. Those stripes. That mouth. The back of the dress.

Wow. You know what? This is admittedly mean, but Jessica Simpson has one of those faces that just screams “I’m an idiot.” I know she can’t help that, and so I’m halfway kind of sorry to say that out loud, but it’s true.

You know I’m right.

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