Tag Archive for 'Jennifer Love Hewitt'

Question.

On what human could this dress possibly be flattering?

Because I can’t think of a single person that this would actually flatter.  I mean yes, her boobular area is nicely highlighted.  I don’t think she can raise her arms, but her boobular area looks…voluptuous.  But I only noticed after the initial SHOCK of the giant white layers of crap that are SCREAMING at you to look at them.

HATE.

This Is What Jennifer Love Hewitt Wears To Play Tennis

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Now, I’m not saying she doesn’t look good, because she does.  I’m just saying that it’s moronic to wear espadrille wedges to play tennis.

Unless this is her big weight loss secret, in which case I’ll be giving it a try this weekend.

P.S. Don't forget! County/State Fair photo contest going on RIGHT NOW! See here for details: FAIR CONTEST!

Kim Kardashian Looks Like A Hundred Other People Now.

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Kim K posted this photo of herself on her twitter feed this weekend, with the caption, “I went blond!  Do U like it?”

On what planet is this color considered blond?  That color is decidedly brown.  Carmel, if you’re being really specific.  But it is in no way blond.  Someone needs to explain to Kim that a lighter shade than your original color does not automatically equal blond.

You know who she looks like? Like a combination of Jennifer Lopez and Leona Lewis with a dash of Jennifer Love Hewitt.  None of whom, incidentally, are blond.

You Know What Doesn’t Go With Designer Handbags?

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Carpets.  I would say as a general rule, if you’re going to wear a carpet, you should go for a simple knapsack or duffle bag.

Not Mockable

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Jennifer Love Hewitt, who recently became disengaged from her fiance, Ross Somethingorother, looks ADORABLE.  Love the side braid.  Love the coat.  Love the hat.  Love the giant green purse.  LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Marilyn Manson Is A Freak

I have always always always hated Marilyn Manson. I hate those creepy contacts he wears, and I hate his stupid fat red lips, and I hate his disgusting gothiness.  But you know who he looks like in this picture?  The goth version of Napoleon Dynamite.  And his new girlfriend looks like someone took Rumer Willis and Jennifer Love Hewitt and fused them together and then gothified the resulting person.

HATE.

No.

This is Alanis Morrissette.  I kid you not.  I guess Jennifer Love Hewitt must have needed a body double.

I Do Not Appreciate These Sleeves

What kind of sadistic designer decided that this jacket would be flattering on anyone, let alone on Jennifer Love Hewitt, who – let’s face it – shouldn’t be calling any sort of extra attention to her hipular area?  This is just cruel.  This is like some sort of horrible prank whereby some designer who obviously hates Jennifer Love Hewitt was called upon to create an outfit for her, and decided that in lieu of a pageant-like sash which said “I Have Huge Hips” on it, (which would be too obvious) she’d just add giant bell-like protrusions right at hip level.

Mean.

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