Tag Archive for 'Jennifer Lopez'

J-Lo And Skeletor Are No Longer Going To Do This Kind Of Stuff On Stage.

Yup – they’re divorcing.  I’m actually a little surprised by this one, because I figured after she finished marrying a couple of other people, and being engaged to some others,  only to go back to one of the first guys she was ever involved with, maybe this one would stick.  But yeah –  Marc’s going to make ex-husband #3.

And so concludes my interest in talking about them.  I tried to go more than 3 sentences but just don’t care enough.

FYI

Jennifer Lopez cannot sing without major engineering. Surprise!

Jennifer Lopez And Marc Anthony Went To The Superbowl

I’m still in mourning over the Colts’ loss.  But it was pretty much predestined that the Saints would win the moment Obama said that the Colts would.

ANYWAY.

Marc Anthony cannot weigh more than 100 pounds soaking wet.  And frankly, he looks kinda upset about it.

This Is What Jennifer Lopez Wore To Perform For NYE

Inappropriate.

No one can wear a sparkly nude bodysuit except Britney.  And even SHE couldn’t pull it off the way she did a few years ago.

J-Lo Takes A Tumble While Singing About Louboutins

You guys – Mr. Mock reported to me earlier that my Christian Louboutins are at home, right this second, waiting for me for when I get home from work. I am so excited I can barely stand it.

And speaking of being overly excited, check out J-Lo at around the 2.40 mark. It’s actually a remarkable recovery.

Horrible song, though. Wow.

Skeletor Is Either Very Hot Or Very Nervous

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I hope there’s some Degree anti-perspirant in that pocket, and that J-Lo has got a hold of it and is in the process of pulling him to a nearby bathroom that has air dryers so that Marc can look SLIGHTLY less sweat-ariffic.

I love her shoes, though.

So, you know, they have that.

Pouty McSultryFace Changes Her Name

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Jennifer Lopez aka Jenny from the Block aka J-Lo is changing her name for her next album to Lola. 

I suppose we can blame her past relationship with P Diddy Sean Puff Daddy Puffy Combs for this.

Discuss.

Kim Kardashian Looks Like A Hundred Other People Now.

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Kim K posted this photo of herself on her twitter feed this weekend, with the caption, “I went blond!  Do U like it?”

On what planet is this color considered blond?  That color is decidedly brown.  Carmel, if you’re being really specific.  But it is in no way blond.  Someone needs to explain to Kim that a lighter shade than your original color does not automatically equal blond.

You know who she looks like? Like a combination of Jennifer Lopez and Leona Lewis with a dash of Jennifer Love Hewitt.  None of whom, incidentally, are blond.

More Plastic Surgery Horror. Only In The US This Time, Not Brazil.

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Two women in Florida are critically ill and hospitalized, after they allowed a fake doctor to inject their assular areas with industrial grade silicone.

I just re-read that sentence and still cannot believe it’s true.  BUT IT IS!!!

Apparently, both women wanted to have J Lo booties.  So they paid Sharhonda Lindsay (a regular person off the street who somehow convinced them that she was an actual doctor) a bunch of money to give them new assular areas.  Sharhonda, as it happens, is now MIA (not the pregnant Grammy kind, but the actual missing in action kind).  She apparently has an inkling that she’s in a bit of trouble.

Now – I’m not claiming to be a genius or anything, but if I met a woman who claimed to be a doctor, and she said she could give me assular area shots IN HER HOME, I’d be a little suspicious. I mean, would give yourself botox injections without professional assistance? Particularly if once I got there, it turned out that she mixed the contents she was about to inject into me in a TUPPERWARE BOWL.  But that didn’t seem to be at all unusual to the two women who are now basically fighting for survival.

One of the  women got FORTY injections into her assular area in a 90 minute period.  The other got (only) 20 – I’m assuming because her assular area was already amply endowed.  One suffered total kidney failure, and the other’s internal organs stopped functioning.  Both are in their early 30’s.

Note to all women: STOP DOING THIS CRAP TO YOURSELVES.  It’s not worth it.

You Know Who Could Stand To Eat Some Doritos?

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Teri Hatcher.   Teri Hatcher should eat some doritos, dipped in butter and then glazed with cooking oil, and then sprinkled with high calorie protein powder.

I think she’s going for the Jennifer Lopez pout in this photo, and you know no one does the Jennifer Lopez pout like Jennifer Lopez.  Fail.

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