Tag Archive for 'Jenna Jameson'

Deep, Penetrating, Wide-Open Thoughts By Jenna Jameson

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Jenna Jameson wrote the following on her blog earlier:

Yes, I am the lucky mommy of two gorgeous boys… Jesse Jameson and Journey Jette. I spent 2 months in Hoag hospital on bed rest, in order to try to take my twins to term. Well, I came pretty close! 33 weeks was my magic date and I delivered my boys on March 15th. I was blessed with a very easy labor, it lasted about 2 hours. When it came to pushing them out, I truly believe the 500 sit ups a day paid off. I was able to push my 5 pound Jesse out in 5 pushes. Journey who was 4lb 11oz was out in 3 pushes. I loved the whole process of being pregnant and I hope to have another baby someday…. but in the meantime, I’m having a blast with my two little monsters! By the way, Jesse looks like me and Journey looks like Tito! I feel like the luckiest girl ever!!!!!!”

You know what’s cute about that?  I mean, other than the fact that there are two babies involved, which pretty much guarantees cuteness?  The fact that Jenna Jameson is under the impression that it was her sit-ups which made it so easy for the babies to emerge from her wombular area.  The sit-ups, you guys. THE SIT-UPS.

Yyyyyyyyyeah.  That’s what it was, Jenna.  There there.  That’s exactly what it was.

Pam Anderson Would Still Like Some More Attention Please

Look at the right side of this dress (her left, our right).  HOW in the world is that side of her dress staying up?  And where are her nipples, exactly?  Because the fact that they don’t seem to be visible at all doesn’t make sense to me, given the amount of breastular area she’s subjecting us to.

Apparently her boys are starting to get teased at school about the fact that their mom is somewhat famous for having a sex tape, and they’re being put in the awkward position of having to defend their total skank of a mom.  But you know what?  At least her sex tape was with her then-husband.  I’d be more interested in how Jenna Jameson’s twins are going to handle the teasing they’re likely to get.

Jenna Jameson Is Synonymous With Motherhood

Jenna Jameson is reportedly pregnant.

How in the world does someone with Jenna’s, umm….experience, raise a child exactly?  I mean, lots of parents are hypocrites about all kinds of behaviors when it comes to the whole “do as I say, not as I do” thing, but in Jenna’s case, her entire life has been spent with literally thousands of various penises penetrating all sorts of parts of her.  Her entire fortune was amassed from, let’s face it, a really lucrative form of prostitution. If she has a daughter, I think she’s going to have a tough time making a case for that daughter to NOT begin having sex at like 9 years old.

You Know Who’s Ridiculous?

Jenna Jameson.  And not because of all the plastic surgery or the anorexia.  No – it’s because of how absurd she looks DRESSED.  Pretty much anyone else in Hollywood could wear this dress and look perfectly fine in it – elegant even – but Jenna Jameson looks ridiculous.  Because she’s so typically naked.  At this point, if she wore, say, a g-string and some pasties, I would probably say, “Look at how much class Jenna is demonstrating by covering up her critical areas”, because it would at least be sort of a natural progression.  But to go full on evening gown without any warning just isn’t right.

 

Jenna Jameson Thinks A Lot Of Herself

Jenna recently said, “Bettie Page was the ultimate sex icon. Then next came Marilyn Monroe, then Pamela Anderson, then me. Now I’m on the lookout for the next woman to pass my title onto. Charlize would be perfect.”

You know what’s weird about this?  Paris Hilton has also been quoted as saying she’s the current version of Marilyn Monroe.  And yet NO ONE ELSE has ever said either of these two are icons of anything. 

If there was an icon for being a used up hag or a drain on society, then Jenna and Paris would be SET.

Helpful Hint to Jenna Jameson from Mockarena

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You miiiiight want to reconsider wearing backless dresses when you’re suffering from a leprosy outbreak.

Although, to Jenna’s credit, this is the most covered I think she’s ever been in her entire life.

Her Hoo-Ha Has Hah’d Its Last Hoo

Jenna Jameson attended the Adult Movie Awards this weekend and announced (after about 10 minutes of self-promotion) the following:

“I will never ever ever spread my legs again in this industry.”  Which apparently is the pornstar way to announce your retirement.  But notably, she didn’t say she wouldn’t spread her legs in OTHER industries.  So, I suppose you could reasonably assume that she might spread her legs in the food service industry, for example.  Sort of puts a whole new spin on the phrase, “Do you want fries with that”, doesn’t it?

Yiiiiikes!

I know.  It’s Jenna Jameson, another porn star.  But I couldn’t help posting this because LOOK at what has happened to Jenna Jameson!  She is unrecognizable.  Plus, one of her boobs appears to be deflating.  I think it’s because her organs are so malnourished that they’re just pulling nutrients from any body part that appears to be of normal size.  Even if those nutrients are saline and silicone.  She is so thin that her shoulders have points.  What IS that?

Jenna Jameson is VILE

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There was no way I could see this picture and not share the horror.  I don’t like suffering alone.

Interestingly, she was recently quoted in US Weekly as saying she was through with porn.  Apparently she has reconsidered.

Jenna Jameson looks like a Platypus

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The Superficial has a whole series of these disastrous photographs of porn star Jenna Jameson.  I’m actually less mortified about her obvious eating disorder and horrendous plastic surgified lips than I am her total unawareness of how hideous these things make her look.  I mean, she’s literally prancing around, posing happily, completely oblivious to the fact that Donald Trump looks more like a female porn star than she does at this point.

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