Tag Archive for 'Fat'

This Woman Is Desperately Trying To Gain Weight

I’m not making this up.  According to this, this New Jersey woman is deliberately trying to reach 1000 pounds (she’s got around 400 left to go).  And hilariously, she insists she is all sorts of healthy, as she motorscoots everywhere (since she can’t walk more than 20 feet without needing to stop and rest).  Yup – she’s the poster girl for health.

In her ongoing effort to reach her goal weight, she tries to move as little as possible, the article says. And she eats piles and piles and piles of food. Specifically, she shoots for 12,000 calories a day. Which, you know, is about 6 days worth of meals for a regular person.

You might wonder how she pays for the truckloads of food it takes to get to 12,000 daily calories. Well, it’s simple really. She runs a website on which men PAY TO WATCH HER EAT FAST FOOD. And it’s apparently THRIVING. Her own boyfriend, in fact, weighing only 150 pounds himself, thinks she’s totally hot at 600 pounds and is encouraging her to stuff her face even more. And, there are men who have “met” her on line who send her protein shake gifts in the mail so that she can put weight on more quickly.

She says, “I love eating and people love watching me eat. It makes people happy, and I’m not harming anyone.” She is already the Guinness World Record holder for the world’s fattest mother – after needing a team of THIRTY PEOPLE to help deliver her daughter 3 years ago. “I’d love to be 1,000lb,” she says, “It might be hard though. Running after my daughter keeps my weight down.

I guess in this case “running” equals “pressing the ‘go’ button on my scooter.”

I hate this woman. She is basically on a slow suicidal path, ON PURPOSE and WITH GUSTO, even though she has a 3 year old who relies on her. I’m curious who paid for the thirty person crew during her high risk c-section.

But I’m even MORE curious about the men who get off on this. I bet they like licking armpits too. Freaks.

Here’s Something We Can All Be Thankful For

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She’s not wearing a thong, you guys.  So, you know, we have that.

An alert and astute mockdocker sent this to me several days ago and I had forgotten all about it until just this moment.   I’m not sure exactly what made me think of it, but all of a sudden the image just BURST into my head.  And I thought, this is the PERFECT photo to send my beloved mockdockers off to sleep with.

No word on whether or not the teeny tiny person in the photo survived this brutal attack.

Creative Fashion

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A belly’s gotta breathe, y’all.   And necklaces on men – always a nice touch.

I Can’t Help But Wonder…

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…if she wouldn’t be more comfortable with that strap under her back flaps, rather than resting on them.

It’s a question for the ages, really.

Your Tuesday Morning Landbeast Surprise

How handy is that post?  I mean, it’s not often that you can count on a random post to be right where you need it.

If You Are Offended By The Word “Landbeast”, You’re Going To Want To Skip This Post…

…because I am here to say, unequivocally and without any hesitation whatsoever, that this is a landbeast.

Daisy’s adorable husband sent this to her this morning, and she sent it to me, and it could quite possibly be my favorite landbeast ever.  And you know why?  Because look at all the effort being made here.  She’s working out, she’s made-up, she’s wearing accessories…all of that is awesome. 

But again, I ask you.  WHAT IS IT that compels women of this size and shape to wear figure-accentuating clothing?  Not that you can actually classify this as clothing. I would sooner classify this as more of just a really unfortunate piece of fabric stretched to breaking point.  I would also not be surprised if this photo was used in leopard weight management classes, whereby the instructor leopard shows it to the other leopards and says, “See, you guys?  This is what’s going to happen to you if you don’t run after those antelope every day.”

True Love

An alert and astute mockdocker sent in the photo above, and at first I resisted posting it only because commenter Madrone was all, “I’m bored by you making fun of ‘large’ people all the time” when I posted that hairy armpitted picture but then I realized that I can’t pander to just a few people when what I really want to do is energize my base.  See how I made this post all political right there?  That means I’m turning off commenters who are bored by “large people posts” AND those who don’t like the politics.  I’m equal opportunity alienating people!!!

Now then.  I have two questions.

What part of her body is this guy holding? Seriously – he could totally be hitting 3rd base in this photo and I would have NO IDEA.

And secondly, what is going on with her hairline?  Her bangs look like they were applied with fake eyelash glue.

Question.

What are all of those straps to?  I see one that I think goes to the water bottle on the left of the photo, one that goes for the subgut pack she’s digging into, but then what’s the thing on the right?  Is that some sort of pinwheel?

Secondly, if she shifted the subgut pack to the other side, does that mean that her actual subgut would also then shift over, such that more of it would hang on the right side of the picture instead of the left?  Or do you think she just naturally has more subgut on one side?

Lastly, what is the white line that appears to connect her ice cream treat and her subgut pack?  Anybody have any guesses on that?

Morbid obesity is fascinating.

Is This A Human?

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this photo today, presumably of a human male.  You know what it reminds me of?  This:

Never in my life have I seen such a bulbous head and neckular area.  Aren’t you just DYING to see him from the front?

Confusion MY Is New Whaa?

I just – I don’t – I can’t understand what is happening here.

Is she actually suggesting that she’s going to seduce someone?  As a new strategy of sorts? Wearing that? 

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