Tag Archive for 'Dina Lohan'

TRAIN. WRECK.

The apple doesn’t fall far, does it? HOLY CRAP.

Dina Lohan Is Ridiculous.

According to this, Lindsay Lohan’s mom is SUING the tv show Glee for making fun of Lindsay.

I am not making this up.

The episode in question featured Gwyneth Paltrow as a substitute teacher in the highschool teaching Spanish. She said, in Spanish (with subtitles on the bottom of the screen), “Lindsay Lohan is totally crazy, right?” and then, “Please get into groups and discuss how many times Lindsay Lohan has been in rehab.”

And Dina flipped out, lawyered up, and is accusing the show of defamation of character.

Just think about that for a moment. While you ponder, take a little trip down memory lane with Dina and Lindsay:

I don’t know about you all, but I’m thinking Dina and Lindsay have done a fine job of defaming themselves without any assistance from a FREAKING TV SHOW.

GAWD.

Look! Fame Whores!

Can someone please explain Dina Lohan’s footwear?  They’re not shoes, and yet they’re not really boots.  They’re more like a blend of the two. They’re shoots.  It kinda looks like Dina took a pair of plain old beige heels and then wrapped a whole bunch of leftovers from Pat Benatar’s Love is a Battlefield video wardrobe around them.  And don’t even get me started on Ali’s Dances With Wolves boots.

HATE.

Michael Lohan Is Hilarious

So you know how the other day, I posted that Anderson Cooper slam-on-Living-Lohan video?  Since then, Dina Lohan has come out with a wise and ominous retort; specifically, she said this would be “bad karma” for Anderson Cooper.  She gave this exclusive comeback to the always-factual and well-reputed OK Magazine. 

But none of that is as hilarious as Michael Lohan running as fast as he could to Access Hollywood to say, among other things, that “…Anderson Cooper is an opinionated, hypocritical idiot who should be an adult and keep his opinion to himself.”

Oh, hi Michael.  Let me introduce you to my friend, Irony. 

Michael Lohan is physically incapable of keeping his opinion to himself.  His opinions are as publicized as Britney’s hoo-ha.

Anderson Cooper Has Personality

I have to admit, I have never paid a lick of attention to Anderson Cooper. I’ve admired his silver hair from afar, and listened to people question his gayness or not-gayness, but mostly have just sort of shrugged any information about him off, due to my total lack of caring about anything related to Anderson Cooper. But after seeing this clip of him totally RIPPING the Dina Lohan/Ali Lohan show, he’s kind of become my new temporary favorite person. I am officially adding him to the list of men I would consider having as my gay best friend. LOVE.

Question.

Do you think Dina Lohan has any fans?

I’m being serious.  I would be genuinely interested in knowing if there are any people in the world who would consider themselves fans of Dina Lohan’s.  Like – I’m sure she might be asked for her autograph on occasion; for example, if I was with Holmes and we saw her I would tell Holmes I’d give him a dollar if he went and gushed at her and asked to get his picture taken with her and then asked for autograph, because Holmes will do ANYTHING on a dare, but the reason I would have him do it is not because we’re fans but simply because it would be completely hilarious to watch Holmes gush about anything, especially something as ridiculous as Dina Lohan.

So do you think other people ask her for her autograph out of sincere admiration ever?

My guess is no.  But I have been known to be wrong before.   Thoughts?

Cody – Just Get Out Of The Room Until I Figure Out How To Make Some Money Off Of You.

Whoever is acting like Ali Lohan in this clip is SPOT ON. Chelsea Handler is awesome, but she is totally overshadowed by Fake Ali.

Favorite intro line: “I’m drilled by Sal, and then, he asks me questions.”

LOVE.

Why, Your Bicep! It Looks So Unposed And Natural And Only Very Coincidentally Completely Flexed!

So apparently Michael Lohan has taken a DNA test to figure out if some chick named Ashley, who’s 13, is his daughter.  This potential sister to Lindsey and Ali might be the product of a relationship Michael had with someone other than Dina.

Michael doesn’t really believe the kid is his but if tests prove otherwise, he’s ready to step up and take responsibility.  Because, you know, another kid could easily be whored out for profit.  I guarantee if this kid is his, she will be the subject of a reality show with Michael, and it will be all about the developing relationship between a reunited father and daughter – which will be meant to pull at our heartstrings but will actually make us seriously consider group suicide.  Mark my words – he is going to get a CRAPLOAD of mileage out of this.

Allow Me To Introduce You To Two Future Rehab Patients

See Denise Richards’ kids?  That is like the happiest I have ever seen them look in a photograph.  These are kids who clearly HATE being thrust into the spotlight by their selfish, attention-hungry skank of a mom.

Oh and guess what!  Denise just talked to In Touch magazine to tell them that she’s got both her girls in therapy.  She said, “My kids are in therapy. It’s very sad that they need to be there, but they do for now. On the other hand, it’s good they have an outlet to deal with their feelings and someone who is just their advocate.”

Why is this “advocate” not telling Denise that one way to avoid putting her kids through undue stress would be to NOT HAVE THEM ON CAMERA 24 HOURS A DAY?  Or is being on a reality show a new therapy treatment I just haven’t heard of yet?

Are Denise Richards and Dina Lohan best friends yet? Because they seem to have similar parenting styles.

HATE.

Soooo Much Crazy.

So listen, you guys. I was totally set to not watch the Denise Richards reality show OR the Dina Lohan reality show. I’m serious. I didn’t tivo them. I didn’t watch them live. I was totally rising above the nonsense and ignoring both of them.

Until my husband said yesterday, “Oh yeah – I forgot to tell you that I tivo’d Living Lohan for you.”

How am I supposed to respond to that in any way EXCEPT to watch it? What kind of wife would I be if I said, “Oh thanks, honey. But I’m not going to watch the show that you thoughtfully recorded for me.” So you understand, right?

Anyway. The Living Lohan show is the most wretched demonstration of poor mothering you could ever hope to see. It’s like 10 million times more horrific than I even imagined it could be. I will be watching every single episode as a result.

Now – I haven’t watched the Denise Richards show, but after seeing the above clip, I’m going to find it hard to resist. LOOK AT ALL THE CRAZY, you guys! It’s so totally awesome.

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