Tag Archive for 'David Beckham'

HOLY MOTHER OF GORGEOUS

Victoria and David have released first photos of Harper, and naturally, she is completely exquisite. As are they. LOOK.

I can’t even TAKE how beautiful these pictures are.  I want to INHALE them they’re so gorgeous.

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the Beckhams.  LOVE.

Victoria And David Beckham Have A New Baby Girl!

She was born this morning. That’s all I know, other than that she’s probably completely perfect, because she’s a girl who was born to Victoria and David Beckham.

TOTAL PERFECTION

David Beckham posted this picture of Victoria on his facebook wall along with the comment, “Took this pic of Victoria while she wasn’t looking. She looks amazing, so close now to the baby being born!”

LOOK AT HOW COMPLETELY AWESOME and amazing she looks. And how cute is it that he snuck this picture?

I love him. I love her. I love them.

LOVE.

Obviously, We Have To Talk About The Royal Wedding

OMG YOU GUYS WASN’T IT AMAZING!??!?!?

First of all, Kate Middleton looked totally flawlessly beautifully gorgeously perfect.

I mean, this dress is just everything it was supposed to be only way more.  My only beef with this is the bouquet, which is way too small and way too cheap looking.  But the dress?  EXQUISITE.

And her sister Pippa?  OMG BEANPOLE.  Gorgeous, perfect beanpole.

Just unspeakably beautiful.  I can’t even TAKE how gorgeous they are.  I was at Leroy’s this morning with some of her family and friends, and we were all just in awe.

The Queen looked like an Easter egg, but she’s so old at this point I don’t think she can even help it.  Kate’s mom, who looks like the long lost sister of Anjelica Huston, looked gorgeous in her icy blue, and even Camilla looked ok:

But Fergie’s daughters were total disasters.  LOOK AT HOW WRETCHED they were:

They can’t be serious, right?  I mean, they did this as some sort of huge joke, or as a dare, or SOMETHING.  Because everything is wrong.  EV.ERY. THING.

Harry’s girlfriend was also kind of a trainwreck:

You can’t really tell in that photo, but she’s too tan.  And she needed a brighter lipstick.  And she needed to wear the same COLOR on both top and bottom.  Or just something else entirely.  Ick.

Naturally, my Victoria and David looked AMAZING.  I MEAN LOOK AT THEM.

I just couldn’t love them any harder.  And look at her shoes.  She’s ready to birth a child, and yet she’s in like 8 inch Louboutins.  I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Anyway, I’m basking in after-wedding happiness right now.  I’ll mock something later.

IT’S OFFICIAL!!!!!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!

It is positively UNHEALTHY how much I care about this.

You Know What? You Guys Are Awesome.

I love mockdockers because y’all are always sending me emails with good stuff to read or watch and even though I may not post everything, you HAVE TO KNOW that I love it regardless.  So don’t stop.

Every now and then, one of you will send me something EXTRA AWESOME, like this story. It turns out that not only is David Beckham completely gorgeous and married to the most fashionable woman on the face of the planet, but he’s a good samaritan too. He helped a dude move his broken down car to safety, because that is the kind of stuff the Beckhams do.

This is the kind of stuff I want to have happen to me. I want my car to break down on a roundabout in England, and I want the Beckhams to emerge from their car, and I want David to push my car to safety. And I want Victoria to come chat with me in her 6 inch stilettos, and say, “Mock – you are so Maaaayjaaah! We should go shopping.” And then David would say, “You girls take the car and go to Barney’s while I stay here and take care of Mock’s broken down car and replace it with a new Bugati Veyron, and don’t you dare come back here until Mock has an entire new wardrobe, shoes and jewelry included, at my expense.” And then Victoria would say, “Oh daahling, we wouldn’t DREAM of returning until then.” And then we would all laugh and the next day the Beckhams would insist on buying me and Mr. Mock a new house right next to them so we could play all the time.

See? All I need is to figure out a way for my car to break down in England.

The Luckiest Child On The Planet Shall Be Born In A Few Months

You guys, according to this,  MY VICTORIA IS GOING TO HAVE A GIRL!!!

Seriously, can you imagine being Victoria’s daughter?  She is going to be BORN wearing Louboutins and Harry Winston.  She’ll have diamond-studded pacifiers and be posing for pictures looking fabulously furious and fierce from day one.

This is by far, the world’s luckiest baby.  You can’t ask to be born into more fabulousity than the Beckham family.  It simply can’t be done.

LOVE.

It’s probably not normal for me to love this couple as much as I do.  But I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

David Beckham Is Shirtless And Angry

That’s always a good combination, if you ask me.

Apparently, he doesn’t take too kindly to being yelled at about using the services of prostitutes. I hope he’s angry because he really doesn’t use the services of prostitutes. He has VICTORIA, for crying out loud. That would be like VICTORIA using the services of prostitutes. Totally a downgrade.

SO COMPLETELY HOT.

I cannot even TAKE how hot David and Victoria are. This 22 second ad totally makes me feel frisky, and they’re not even naked or anything.

So so so so so so hot. They are PERFECTION.

The Beckhams On The View

I cannot TAKE how fabulous David and Victoria are. And look at my Victoria looking so proper and stylish and totally fabulous in the audience. She is SO UBER FABULOUS.

I cannot stand the women of The View, but Sheri Shepherd’s shoes are TO DIE FOR.

The only thing I would change about the Beckhams is I would lower David’s voice about an octave. He would be complete, total perfection with a lower voice. But even still, the whole story he tells about meeting Victoria, with her looking on from the audience all giddy and girly and bashful, makes me want to totally be ADOPTED by them, even though I’m like a decade older than they are.

I love them SO MUCH.

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