Tag Archive for 'Dario Franchitti'

Deep Tweets: By Ashley Judd

So, Ashley’s husband won yesterday’s Indycar race.  It was a total crashfest, and the driver competing with Dario for the championship, Will Power, was taken out of the race BY Dario, in a move that some people called just a “racing incident” but which others said Dario should have been penalized for.

Will Power was FURIOUS, and had some very critical things to say about Ashley’s man. In an interview on TV, Will Power said, “It doesn’t surprise me that he didn’t get a penalty, because he never gets penalized, it’s pretty typical. It was a pretty dirty move. He just turned me around. Does anyone ever penalize this guy? He’s as dirty as you like.  I left the inside open on the brakes. I’m really disappointed with Dario. I always race him clean, and he always races me dirty. He did the same at St Pete, though I didn’t say anything, and he did the same today.  Disappointed in Dario. The guy that mouths off about everyone and whines about everyone, and he’s the guy who races the most dirty, never gets a penalty from IndyCar. It’s just not right.”

And then, on Twitter, he said this:

To which Dario replied:

And then Will said:

Yeah.  He’s mad.  But here’s where it gets positively hilarious, because Dario’s WIFE got into the mix of things, and said this:

I love that.  “It’s not my place to comment, so BEHOLD MY COMMENT!”  And she didn’t stop there.

She is Actually Suggesting that Will Power, in the heat of his anger, should have considered using the term “Prince” to describe Dario, instead of “Princess,” because using “Princess” is “gendered term” which is therefore insulting to women.

OMG.  If Dario isn’t completely MORTIFIED by this, then there is seriously something wrong with him.

I had to giggle at this response to her from some other dude:

 

And see – this is why, despite the fact that Dario is charming and super nice and all that, I CANNOT RESPECT HIM.  Because he’s MARRIED to a woman who finds nothing wrong with opening her husband up to even MORE ridicule.

ICK.

PS.  I love twitter. 🙂

The Dreaded Pearls Are BACK

You know how much I hate those big giant stupid pearls that Ashley Judd insists on wearing, right?  I think I’ve mentioned that several times before.   They’re back tonight, for the Indy 500 banquet, and you can see them in the below screen grab:

I think she’s scowling there because she’s not, in that moment, being fawned over by someone.  It was post-race photo op day earlier this morning, and naturally, it was All. About. Ashley.  Can you even tell, from this picture, who actually WON the race? Because she’s a thunder-stealer, that Ashley.

Dario is a swell guy, so I take nothing away from HIM for his win.  It’s his insufferable wife who makes me root against him.  That said, I LOATHE his hair.  You know who he looks like with that hair?

Talladega Nights, anyone?

Clearly, I Am Being Punished.

Ashley Judd’s husband won the Indy 500 today.  And if that isn’t painful enough, I was THERE to see it.

I think it’s because I laughed at this.

Update:  This photo makes me feel better somehow:

Ashley Judd Is 41

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Let the record reflect that Ashley continues to be older than me. 

Sunday was The Faux French Intellectual’s birthday, and her husband won an Indycar race that day, while she was (judging from these pictures) apparently busying herself with sucking on a lemondrop.

Another gossip site posted photos of her from the race with a title that read, “Ashley Judd USED to be Hot.”  That made me snicker a little, I’ll be honest.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not above being catty.

Ashley Judd Is Making Plus Sized Clothes And Dario Franchitti Has Bought A Condo

I don’t know that either of those things has anything to do with the other, but be that as it may, those are the latest pieces of news to come out about them.  Ashley has expanded her Goody’s clothing line to include clothes for fat women, and Dario has bought a one-bedroom condo in Vegas for 1/2 a million bucks.

Still no official word about what will become of Dario’s career now that his NASCAR team has imploded.

Caption the photo – what do you think Ashley’s talking about?  Mockdock love to the best/funniest answers. 

My, How The Mighty Have Fallen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guess what! Ashley Judd’s husband’s Nascar team has just imploded. According to the AP, the team owner, Chip Ganassi, has shut down Dario’s race operations because of a lack of sponsorship. Loosely translated, that means no one wanted to give money to the team because Dario seems to be incapable of getting one of those elusive “top 40 finishes” everyone strives for in NASCAR.  Loosely translated, that means he’s really really really bad at NASCAR.

Anyway, he’ll still apparently run for the lower-tier Nationwide series, so it’s not like he won’t have anything to do…but yikes.   

Well, This Has To Be Embarassing

So remember how I told you that Ashley’s husband, Dario Franchitti, broke his ankle yesterday and therefore had to miss the Talledega race today?  So his team decided to use a dude by the name of David Stremme, who Dario REPLACED this year, as a substitute in today’s race.  And he started dead last, because that’s where Dario had qualified the car.  And then he proceeded to have a totally badass run, including even leading a lap at one point.  He would have finished in the top 5 had he not been caught up in a random accident on the last lap.  Which all just goes to show that Chip Ganassi is an idiot for hiring Dario to replace Stremme in the first place, and that Dario isn’t nearly as much of an “elite talent” as Ashley insists he is.

Anyway.  I like to imagine that in the photo above, she’s saying, “Shhh.  I know he’s not that good but I don’t want him to hear me saying that.”  Only if that’s what she were really saying, it’d be more like, “Silence.  I am cognizant of the reality that my betrothed is not in possession of the level of skill which I have previously indicated; however, it is my preference that he not be made aware of this sentiment through any auditory means.”

 

Ashley Judd’s Husband Continues To Utterly SUCK At NASCAR

Ashley Judd’s husband Dario couldn’t manage to qualify for this Sunday’s race in Texas.  He’ll be sitting on the sidelines, wondering how in the world he could become so irrelevant in the world of motorsports so quickly.

It’s unlikely she’ll be there to comfort him, because she’s probably too embarrassed.   Although she wasn’t too embarrassed to show herself in public after completely screwing up a spray tan (see picture below), so I could be wrong.

 

HATE.

 

Ashley Judd’s Husband Continues To Suck At Nascar

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Dario Franchitti continued his streak of crappiness at the Bristol Nascar race this past weekend.  Finishing 38th, Dario said, “It’s tough to be learning everything that we’re learning racing against these type of people. These guys know what they’re doing so it’s very difficult for us to even stay in the top-35 right now.”

In a related story, ESPN.com has a headline which reads in part, “Sam Hornish lands a top-35 finish.”  So apparently finishing in the top-35 is like a huge success for these jokers now.  Which is retarded considering there are generally fewer than 45 total drivers in any given race.

Anyway, Dario’s best finish of the season to date is 32nd.  Which has to be hard on Ashley, who is used to describing her husband with all kinds of flowery and overly complimentary and ridiculously  long words.  There’s probably not a lot of big words she can use which translate into “top-40 finisher”.

Ashley Judd’s Husband Is Terrible At Nascar Racing

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Dario Franchitti’s foray into stockcar racing continues to be a complete disappointment, as he squeaked out a 31st place, four-lap-down finish in last weekend’s Atlanta race.  When sought out for comment, Ashley Judd was seen looking disheveled and embarrassed, silently counting to herself, and chanting about women’s right to choose.

Developing…

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