Tag Archive for 'cops'


Sorry for the non-postiness yesterday, mockdockers.  Before I knew it, the afternoon was gone and we had company last night so there just wasn’t time to hang out with you guys here.

One of the folks we had over is a policewoman, who shall henceforth be known as CopGirl and she is a total badass.  She had some great stories, including one about a female detainee who removed and then hurled a tampon at her.  Yeah.

CopGirl is a tiny thing, probably no more than 110 pounds, but you just know when you meet her that she could beat the pulp out of you if she wanted to.  It’s all about the attitude.  And it’s not that she’s mean – she’s like the nicest, sweetest person ever.  She just has this total ass-kicking aura about her.

We talked some about what absolute BS it is that cops are ever allowed to be landbeasts.  I mean, it’s not safe.  They’re required to take a physical fitness test to BECOME cops, and the academy for training is tough physically as well.  But after that?  Many departments have basically no rules for maintaining fitness.

Let me ask you, would you feel safe if one of these cops were on the scene to protect you?

Those two probably can’t run to the refrigerator, let alone after a criminal.


Sometimes Multi-Tasking Is A Bad Idea

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me an AP article about an Ohio woman who has just been charged with child endangerment because (thankfully) an alert and astute motorist saw that she was both talking on the phone and BREASTFEEDING A CHILD while driving, and called the police.

Yeah.  But see, Genine Compton, 39, had a really good explanation.  She didn’t want to let her child go hungry.  This is what she told the cop.  The kid was hungry.

I don’t understand how cops can resist punching people in the face when they hear crap like this.  Apparently Genine actually thought she was being pulled over for breastfeeding in public.  She didn’t get that there was anything remotely wrong or dangerous about driving at speed with a child drinking from your breastular area.   While on the phone.

The worst that can happen to her is 180 days in jail and an $1,800 fine if she’s convicted of the misdemeanor.  I think her child should be given to Salma Hayek, who is obviously capable of filling in while Genine serves time.

You Know What I Hate?

I hate it that cops and firemen and even your run-of-the-mill security people are allowed to be overweight.  As you may recall, Bunny and Dame are both married to firefighters.  Both of them are in terrific shape.  Both of them had to endure a challenging physical test as just a part of the application process to become firefighters.  And, the academy training once they were hired?  Enormously physically challenging.

But you know what happens once training is over?  Firefighters are allowed to get just as fat and unhealthy as they want, and there is NO CONSEQUENCE.  I think this is crap.

Dame and I were driving to her house one time, and we passed a car which had just been pulled over on the highway, and there was this enormous landbeast of a female cop approaching it.  And you know how generally when you see a cop, whether they’re in or out of a car, you kind of slow down (especially if you’re speeding), in case they feel like wrapping up whatever they’re doing to come after you instead?  Yeah.  I didn’t – because there was no way in the world this landbeast would have had a PRAYER of getting to her car in time to hone in on me with her radar, because she moved like a turtle and looked a lot like the chick in the photo above (minus the turkey leg).

Cops and firefighters should have to pass the SAME TEST to KEEP their jobs each year, as they do to GET their jobs in the first place. 

And so concludes my Sunday morning rant.

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