Tag Archive for 'chipmunk'

Chipmunks Make Annoying Noises

I was working at home this afternoon, and kept hearing the most annoying, repetitive squawky bark – upon investigation it turns out it was this chipmunk hanging out on the ledge of our deck, barking at nothing and no one, just to be annoying. And you know what? On any other day, I probably wouldn’t have minded so much, but this was a crappy day, which included a trip to the hospital for Junior Mock to get a kidney ultrasound because of a few bloody diapers he had today. Turns out, he’s got a stone. I don’t know how big, but the nurse tells me we just have to wait for it to pass. And what KILLS me about Junior Mock is that he is in, like, the best mood ever. He couldn’t care less about his stupid kidney stone, and probably thinks we’re all totally overreacting.

I’d imagine that when it comes time for him to actually pass it, he’ll be miserable, but right now, he’s just happy. Bloody, but happy.

I need kidney stone stories. What should I expect? What can I do for him? Any home remedy type of tricks I should know about to help speed things along?

I’ll tell you what DOESN’T work – and that’s chipmunks barking on the deck. Just FYI.

And so concludes probably the only blog post in the history of the world that combines chipmunks and kidney stones.

Worst. Mousetrap. EVER.

I love this mouse. I love that he’s all, “Yeah – I’m going to just go ahead and take all of this food and then leave.” And then I love how the mousetrap is all, “Wait. What? There was a mouse on me? SNAP!!!”

So yesterday I noticed that there is like a colony of chipmunks living beneath my deck. And they’re getting totally fearless – like I’ll be hanging out on the deck and they’ll just come right up on there with me and say, “What’s up” and then run around and make a lot of noise and then go back under the deck. And I told Mr. Mock about this, and he said we’d need to put some poison under there or something. But see – I can’t bear to personally kill something as cute as a chipmunk.

So I’m not sure what’s going to happen. This might be one of those things that Mr. Mock has to do covertly, such that one day, later this summer, I’ll notice that there haven’t been any chipmunks hanging around, and Mr. Mock will tell me that the colony decided to move to a bigger and nicer deck, and I’ll believe him even though there are like 82 chipmunk carcasses under ours.

Or maybe they really WILL just decide that my deck is lame, and they’ll leave on their own. It could happen, right?

Holy Mother Of Weird Animals

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this video and omg what in the holy hell IS this creature?

It’s like someone took a chipmunk, removed its entire body from its head, and then put the head on top of a baby chicken’s legs.

I don’t know whether to be creeped out or to immediately ask Mr. Mock to buy me one.

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