Tag Archive for 'chicago'

The Mother Of All Mock Dock Posts – With The Promised Photo(s)

I say that not because this post will be particularly clever or funny or mocky, but because I have SO MUCH to tell you about this Chicago trip that I’m quite certain it will be the longest post in Mock Dock history.  So, if you’re interested, plan on staying awhile.  If you’re not interested, just scroll down to the more tolerable bite-size posts that are typical of The Mock Dock. 

Ok.  So we started our journey on Tuesday morning at 10ish, and piled into Leroy’s giant tricked out Tahoe.  Leroy, God bless ‘er, was SICK AS A DOG, but still totally psyched and ready for the festivities, and armed with loads of OTC drugs to combat funk symptoms.  So off we went.

Naturally, we blasted the latest Britney Spears album pretty much the whole way there.  We got to our hotel (Westin on Michigan Ave – just a few steps from Water Tower), threw our stuff in the room, and headed out to shop at H&M and Filene’s Basement before grabbing lunch/dinner at Ditka’s.  We had absolutely amazing service at pretty much every establishment we patroned over this past two days, and Ditka’s was no exception.  Food was delish, and our bartender/waiter was precious.  We stayed there a couple hours and then went back to the room to prepare for the Mother Of All Concerts. 

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You Know What I Love?

I love days like today.  Days where the weather is positively gorgeous, and I really don’t have any pressing responsibilities. 

I took Mini-Mock to the park today, and then later to his grandparents’ house, where we all marveled at his genius and sweetness and perfection, which is what we often do.  Grandma Mock said, “Wow – his hair already needs cutting again” – which isn’t all that surprising since he has PILES of hair just like Mr. Mock does.  She then said, “You oughta learn how to cut it instead of taking him to Cookie Cutters all the time.”  And Mini-Mock piped up and said, “No Mommy – you can’t cut it because it’s fragile.”   I have no idea where he picked up that word, but it sparked a total gigglefest.

When Mini-Mock was just learning to talk, and was still really grabby, he liked to pull on my necklaces.  Sometimes that was ok, because I’ve got some sturdy ones, but sometimes it was decidedly NOT ok.  I would say, “Honey – you can’t pull this necklace because it’s delicate.”  And for MONTHS after that, he would look at my necklaces and say, “That necklace is delikitten.”

I am sooooo loving the precious and adorable age of three.  I don’t want him to get bigger.  Any ideas how I can stop that from happening?

In other news, my chest and arms are FRIED.  Not to the point of pain, but certainly to the point of being justifiably ridiculed.  I soooooooo love the sun. 

And to top it all off, the Daisy-Leroy-Mockarena roadtrip to Chicago is happening this Tuesday/Wednesday, and I cannot WAIT.  We are going to shop and eat and drink and dance our collective assular areas off at the Britney concert.  We’re not even taking a decoy teenager with us to make ourselves look less pathetic for being practically 40 and going to a Britney Spears concert.  We are going there loud and proud, and would be EVEN IF we weren’t going to be slightly disguised (you’ll have to wait for photos to see).

Good times, mockdockers.  Good times.

Do you know what Daisy loves?

The fact that she’s writing all the faithful little Mockdockers, right this very second, for the first time EVER (and maybe the last), from a Chicago hotel room.  And, yes, I’m on the top floor.  With Mockarena.  We have already survived the three-hour trip up here, stopping at Wendy’s for a snack and then the Adult Superstore off Highway 65, exit 240 (shameless plug…ask about us by name the next time you drop by). 

<<Insert Mockarena here:  Tee hee….YOU SAID PLUG!>>

So, I’m both honored and a little shy (kind of like when you have to hurry up and pee in a cup, and you’re on the spot and you can’t seem to make yourself go).  But I’ll do the best I can, make this short and sweet, as we have some major shopping, eating, shopping, drinking, shopping, drinking, and eating to do. 

Instead of focusing primarily on the fact that I now feel part of this fraternity of mockers (and should get some sort of paddle), I’d like to instead focus on the fact that there are some weirdly sexual deviant people out there.  Not that there’s anything WRONG with that, but some of the dongs in that place on 65 were frightening.  I have lived in many cities across this great nation, but I’m still just a modest chick from the cornfield.  And, the Sarah Palin blowup doll was probably one of the funniest things I’ve seen since, well, ever.

So, that’s it – for now.  Do you know what Daisy loves?  Being on the top floor and knowing that some dude just bought a Sarah Palin blowup doll off Highway 65, exit 240.

More to come.  No pun intended.  In the meantime, here’s our first video of the 24-hour Chi-town extravaganza.

Reminder To Our Devoted Readers (Even You, Obama 08!)

 

You guys, Daisy and I are headed to Chicago tomorrow for our 24 hour shopping/eating/general-merriment-and-possible-drunk-karaoke-ing extravaganza.  Posting could be more limited than usual, but I AM taking my laptop with me in case we see (or do!) mockworthy stuff.  And if you’ve been around awhile, you know that everytime I say posting will be limited, I end up posting a whole bunch anyway.  I can’t help myself.  Perhaps I’ll have Daisy do a post for you guys, if she’s willing.

We are going to be taking Suki, which I’m excited about because it will be her first real road trip.  I’ve loaded her up with all sorts of CD’s that make Mr. Mock cringe (you know, Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears – all the “classics”).  And of course, Robbie Williams.  You can’t ever have too much Robbie.

Anyway, wish us luck.  Two chicks trying desperately to not feel as old as they are running loose in Chicago without supervision could be a dangerous thing.  We are TOTALLY Cameron and Christina.

You Know What I Hate?

Canker sores.  I have one of those annoying, sting-y, little owies inside my lower gumline.  The kind that you are sort of able to forget about until you eat, like, an orange or something, and are suddenly plunged into a big ole vat of pain.

You know what Mr. Mock does when he gets a canker sore?  He BITES IT OFF.  That’s how much of a badass he is.  He’s always telling me to do that, but I can’t because a) I’m too much of a wuss and b) I rather enjoy whimpering about it and having him pay sympathetic attention to me.

You know what will totally make me forget all about my canker sore?  The fact that Daisy and I are leaving Sunday for a girl trip to Chicago!  AND we’re even taking Monday off so that we can stay a night and then shop and eat our collective assular areas off.  It’s going to be fantabulous.

So – you’re probably wondering why there’s a baby meerkat attached to this post.  Let me just say this:  I searched for an appopriate picture that would go along with the canker sore theme, and nearly lost my lunch over what came up on my screen.  I figured it’s Halloween, and you guys deserved something not awful to look at.  So Happy Halloween!

Soooo Meaty!

So we’re headed back to Indy now, after an utterly fantabulous visit to Chicago.  SUCH FUN!  We stayed at Swissotel, where we got to stay in a corner suite that had unbelievable views and where they also have cold bottles of water waiting for you in your car when they fetch it from valet parking.  We are such brats.

Last night, we went to Fogo de Chao.  I don’t know if you guys have ever experienced this Brazilian steakhouse, but if you’re into eating meat in a big way, I would highly recommend it.  They have this stop/start method whereby you are given a two sided coaster – one side’s red and the other’s green – and when you want them to bring you some slabs of meat, you flip it to the green side.  This is AFTER you’ve had as much salad as you want for your first course. 

At this particular Fogo de Chao, the servers are like an army of meat-bearing soldiers, and if you have your coaster flipped to green, you are literally descended upon by swarms of men with skewers.  And they keep coming to you non-stop until you flip the coaster to red.  It’s kind of awesome.  By the time we decided to flip to red for the final time, I’m fairly certain that Mr. Mock had consumed an entire cow.  And that’s IN ADDITION to the chicken, pork and lamb he sampled.  I ate a lot too – don’t get me wrong – but at the risk of sounding totally inappropriate, let me just say that Mr. Mock is quite gifted in the meat department.

We were so totally stuffed at the end of this meal that we couldn’t even bring ourselves to particpate in any sort of nightlife activity.  So we collapsed in our obscenely soft giant bed and watched fireworks from our window.  SO great!

Have I told you guys how much I love Chicago?  LOVE.  I got a few good photos of freaky people on Navy Pier which I will share with you once I’m back home.   And, naturally, there will be more mocking.  Oh, so much mocking.

ON OUR WAY

We’re headed to Chicago right now!!!

Have I told you guys how much Mr. Mock makes me crazy with the way he drives?  He is OUT OF CONTROL.  And therefore, I am like the worst passenger ever, because I’m constantly telling him to either slow down or back off of people or in general to just be the sort of driver who doesn’t make me want to embed my fingernails in the armrests. 

Anyway, we’re headed up I65 right now and currently going NINETY MILES PER HOUR.  Which is totally unnecessary since our whole purpose for heading to Chicago is to wind down and relax.  But apparently, we are in a HUGE HURRY to do that. 

Road trips with Mr. Mock are so fun.  Sometimes he’ll even let me listen to Captain and Tennille, but ONLY IF I reciprocate and he gets to play some Allman Brothers tunes as well.  Which, if you think about it, is completely unfair seeing as how every Allman Brothers song is like FORTY FIVE MINUTES LONG.  Two years ago, I went to the Allman Brothers concert with him, and there was a song which was so long, that everyone in the whole band except the drummer left the stage at one point.  They were all sick and tired of playing their instruments and so they were like, “You know what? Screw this.  Let’s just let drummerboy keep going and we’ll all go smoke some weed for a bit.  No one will notice.”  And you know what?  NO ONE DID.  Except for me.  Everyone else was all, “OMG this is so totally awesome that drummerboy is getting this huge solo” and “OMG the Allman Brothers are so amazingly awesome and fantastic” INCLUDING MY HUSBAND.  My husband insists the solo is just part of the Allman Brothers magic.

I do not get this. 

You know what’s magic?  Muskrat Love.  That’s what’s magic.

WHOO HOO!!! We’re going to Chicago!!!

Guess What I’m Doing This Weekend!

I’m having a kid-free weekend with Mr. Mock in Chicago!!  We are staying in a fancy shmancy hotel and we are going to watch the fireworks from a ferry off of Navy Pier and we are going to Taste of Chicago and we’re going to visit museums and we’re going to shop and eat fancy meals and do a whole lot of sleeping and other things which aren’t kid-friendly to mention, but I can assure you they are REALLY FUN THINGS.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that even though I’m taking my laptop with me, BECAUSE I AM OBSESSED, there will likely be less posting than usual over the holiday weekend.  And I’ll tell you why.  It’s because no one pays us to post on this site, and seeing as how it’s purely a hobby, we have to balance our posting with, you know, life and stuff.  And I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking, “WHAT THE HELL?  How can this kind of talent and wit not be compensated? How can there not be swarms of important people with fistfuls of cash ready to sign deals for all of the mockers which would ensure their financial security forever?”

And I agree with you.  We are waaaaay too awesome to be doing this for free.  You know what? You should pick up your phone right now and call all the important people you know and tell them what an injustice it is that the mockers aren’t paid to mock, when mocking is such a pure and necessary public service, and encourage them to send us thousands of dollars.

Anyway, I will alert you of any mocktacularity that may ensue in Chi-town.  Stay tuned.

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