Tag Archive for 'charlie sheen'

This Is How I Know We’re Doomed

I woke up so happy today, you guys.

I got my hair blondified a bit in preparation for a spring which seems like it’s NEVER GOING TO FREAKING ARRIVE, but getting blondified always makes me feel more…me, somehow. And then Mr. Mock and I met Agent J for dinner and basketball watching at one of my favorite eateries, and both games finished EXACTLY AS I HOPED THEY WOULD.

And because my boys are at my folks’ house, I got to sleep in until 10am this morning. And Mr. Mock had gotten up before me and fetched donuts which were waiting for me when I emerged from the bedroom. So it was pretty much a perfect way to start a day.

Until I read this.

According to that, the people who PAID BIG MONEY to see Charlie Sheen live on his 20-city tour, left disappointed with the show, and many of them want refunds. And they’re all whining and complaining about it saying moronic stuff like “I was hoping for something. I didn’t think it would be this bad,” and “”I expected him to at least entertain a little bit. It was just a bunch of ranting.”

Are they SERIOUS?!?!? What did they think he was going to do – break into song and dance and pull rabbits out of hats or something? He’s a drug addicted has-been whose only real talent is banging a lot of skanky women. HELLO.

I read the entire article and became SO IRRITATED at the people who left the show irritated. They should all be punched in the face for being stupid enough to think they’d actually be entertained. And all of them should have their voting rights taken away, because anyone who would pay to see that crap doesn’t deserve to vote people into public office.

GAWD.

If You Are Offended By Charlie Sheen Posts, Please Skip This.

An alert and astute mockdocker just sent me this auto-tune songification of Charlie Sheen, and it is the best thing I’ve seen all day.

I know some of you are feeling very sympathetic to Charlie, and think it’s bad to joke about him. I get that. I really do. But this video is seriously awesome, and it’s not really making fun of him so much as it is awesome-ifying him.

This might have to be my new ring tone.

Are You Feeling Neglected?

Sorry I ignored you guys yesterday. As you know, I woke up at 3am and was on the go, non-stop, until around 10.30pm. I don’t even remember getting into bed last night, I was so tired.

BUT, the day was super fun. If you want to read about it, you can do so right here.

I’m totally behind on mocking, and if you’ve sent me an email within the last couple of days, I haven’t read it yet. I PROMISE I will catch up on all of that later tonight.

Meantime, I hope your veins are flowing with tiger blood, and that you’re spending your day winning, like him:

Charlie McCrazyPants, Cont.

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There is so much crazy in this video, I don’t even need to comment on it. Just watch, and learn precisely how not to live your life.

Oh, Hi Mr. Crazy

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Charlie Sheen is insane. And holy crap, you guys. He looks HORRIBLE.

But you know, you can’t process him with a normal brain. You know.

Ohhhh. So THIS Is What People Mean When They Say, “Blind Leading The Blind.”

You guys, Charlie Sheen called into a radio show today to OFFER ADVICE TO LINDSAY LOHAN.

This is what he said (emphasis mine because HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!),”I have some things I think she should consider, cause I don’t tell anybody what to do. Work on your impulse control … just try and think things through a little bit before you do them.”

I’ll wait right here while you stop giggling.

If you want even more giggles, check out the audio of even more delusional Sheentasticness after the jump.

Continue reading ‘Ohhhh. So THIS Is What People Mean When They Say, “Blind Leading The Blind.”’

All You Can Do At This Point Is Just Pity The Dude

According to this, police found Charlie Sheen in a completely trashed hotel room naked and drunk. There was also a naked escort found screaming in a closet.

And they’re treating this like it’s Actual News. Hello, this is Charlie Sheen we’re talking about. This is like his standard Tuesday morning.

He wasn’t arrested, but instead taken to a hospital to detox and get a psych eval. And guess who took him there? Denise Richards, who apparently is way more of a masochist than I originally gave her credit for.

You know what she should do? Remarry him. That’d be a good idea.

Denise Richards Is Having A Crap Day.

Denise Richard’s reality show has been canceled, and her ex-husband, Charlie Sheen, has impregnated his new wife.  Normally, I would say it’s totally awesome and perfect that her reality show has been axed, except that I would like someone to film a reality show of Denise finding out that her reality show has been axed and that her ex-husband hasd impregnated his new wife.  Because that would be totally awesome and worth watching.

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