Tag Archive for 'Cameron Diaz'

I Know I Shouldn’t Mock A Serious Health Condition, But…

…Bunny did it first. 🙂

She sent me a link today and pointed me specifically to the MOST AWESOME JOB TITLE OF ALL TIME.

Are you ready for it?

TRANSVAGINAL MESH LAWYER

That is an actual job title. I mean, I’m sure at parties these people just say that they’re lawyers, but if they want to describe their jobs with any specificity, then they basically have to say that they are transvaginal mesh lawyers, which is completely HILARIOUS to me, even though I’m sure complications arising from bad transvaginal mesh are horrible and terrible and not funny at all.

There is no appropriate photo to go with this post, so here’s a horrible picture of Cameron Diaz.

Cannot. Wait.

I think I’ve told you guys like 47 times how much I love Jodi Picoult novels. And My Sister’s Keeper is sort of the staple of Jodi books. It’s usually everyone’s favorite. And above is the trailer for the movie version of it, which can’t possibly be as good but which I will totally see and bawl at.

Enjoy.

Mr. Mock Has All The Answers

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So I want to tell you about a conversation I just had with Mr. Mock.  First, the background.  I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m CRAZY about Jodi Picoult’s books.  If you haven’t heard of her, you’ll probably be hearing about her more once Cameron Diaz’s movie “My Sister’s Keeper” comes out – it’s based on one of Jodi’s books. ANYWAY, my love for Jodi in no way diminishes my love for Laura Zigman, who as you know is a mockdocker and fellow Ashley Judd hater.

Jodi just came out with a new book, pictured above.  I’ve been waiting for MONTHS for a new book of hers to come out, because there hasn’t been a single thing she’s written that I haven’t absolutely GOBBLED UP.  Since I’ve read everything she’s ever written ever, she simply cannot write new books quickly enough.  And true to form, the moment I finished the first page of the new book, I was completely hooked.  And that’s the thing about Jodi’s books – I become so completely wrapped up in them that I tear through them in a matter of hours, and then I’m left feeling completely empty and yearning for more and then I have to wait for months for the next one to come out.  It’s like an addict waiting for the next high.

So I just finished the first few chapters of the latest book, and then I forced myself to put it down, and the following conversation with Mr. Mock ensued:

Me:  OMG – I love Jodi’s books SO MUCH.

Mr. Mock:  So you’ve said.

Me:  This new one is already so good – I don’t want to stop reading it.

Mr. Mock:  Then keep reading it.

Me:  But the more I read it, the quicker it’ll be over.

Mr. Mock:  Then stop reading it.

Me:  I don’t want to stop reading it.  It’s just that when a book is this good, I tend to read it really fast and then it ends before I want it to.

Mr. Mock:  Then don’t read it so fast.

See?  He’s got an answer for everything.

Who Knew?

An alert and astute mockdocker told me about this clip and so I looked it up and have to tell you I am IMPRESSED that Jimmy Fallon has moves. Dude can shake it.

I haven’t decided what I think about Cameron Diaz. Your thoughts?

More New Year’s Divorces

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Patricia Arquette has filed for divorce from Thomas Jane.  The same Thomas Jane who was precious and perfect and adorable in The Sweetest Thing.  I’ll be honest – I was annoyed when they got married, because she’s nothing like Cameron Diaz’s character in The Sweetest Thing, and I insist on believing that Thomas Jane IS the character he played in that movie – therefore, Patricia Arquette was simply not the right match.  And see, you guys?  Clearly I was right.

Clearly if he would have just married Cameron Diaz, all would be well.

I so love Jason Bateman in that movie. LOVE.

Reminder To Our Devoted Readers (Even You, Obama 08!)

 

You guys, Daisy and I are headed to Chicago tomorrow for our 24 hour shopping/eating/general-merriment-and-possible-drunk-karaoke-ing extravaganza.  Posting could be more limited than usual, but I AM taking my laptop with me in case we see (or do!) mockworthy stuff.  And if you’ve been around awhile, you know that everytime I say posting will be limited, I end up posting a whole bunch anyway.  I can’t help myself.  Perhaps I’ll have Daisy do a post for you guys, if she’s willing.

We are going to be taking Suki, which I’m excited about because it will be her first real road trip.  I’ve loaded her up with all sorts of CD’s that make Mr. Mock cringe (you know, Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears – all the “classics”).  And of course, Robbie Williams.  You can’t ever have too much Robbie.

Anyway, wish us luck.  Two chicks trying desperately to not feel as old as they are running loose in Chicago without supervision could be a dangerous thing.  We are TOTALLY Cameron and Christina.

Is It Just Me?

I do not think Cameron Diaz is pretty.  I think she’s very LIKEABLE.  But I do not think she’s pretty.  I think she has stringy hair and that she looks tired a lot.  I also think her smile is way too wide.  In this picture, for example, she is BARELY SMILING, and yet the corners of her mouth are like 12 miles away from each other.  When she smiles full blast, I think she can actually lick her own ears.

I am soooo grumpy this evening.  You know those days that you have at work where the idea of being run over by a semi sounds better than anything you have on your to-do list?  Yeah.  That’s the day I had.  And it’s not even over, because there are about 14,872 more fires I need to put out before I go to bed.  So I just need to tell you, I might not be as posty as usual this evening.  Plus, the Veep debate is on tonight, you know.  Which means I’m going to be staying up waaaay past my bedtime watching Biden McTooth and Palin McSpectacles square off.

Saturday cannot come soon enough.

Lance Has Finished Another Ride

Lance Armstrong and Kate Hudson are apparently finished having their “relationship.”  You know what?  I’m glad.  I hated these two together. I’m not even exactly sure why.

You realize what’s going to happen next, right?  Lance Armstrong and Cameron Diaz.  She’s been passed around like the flu, plus she seems to meet his obviously narrow girlfriend criteria. 

 

Random John Mayer News

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Word on the street is that John Mayer is now dating Cameron Diaz.  And also that he makes hideous faces when he performs.

This is why you come to the MockDock, folks.  For the pure randomness of our news.  You’re welcome!

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