Tag Archive for 'book'

Kanye Would Like You To Know He Does Not Read. So He Has Written A Book.

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An alert and astute mockdocker sent me an article about Kanye West’s new book.  And the article is just chock full of quotes from Kanye, confirming our collective suspicions that he is, in fact, a complete chump.

So, Kanye isn’t a fan of literature.  He says, “Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books. I like to get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life.”

My favorite part of that is when he accuses OTHER PEOPLE of being self-absorbed.  Priceless.  He believes that being a “proud non-reader” was helpful when writing his book because it gave him a “childlike purity.”  I am not even making that up.  He actually said that.

Anyway, as any self-proclaimed non-reader would do, Kanye has naturally co-written a book.   Although I use the term “book” very very very very loosely. It’s called “Thank You And You’re Welcome.”  It’s 52 pages, and some of those pages are actually blank.  I’m sure that’s just part of his art.  Other pages have just a few words.  And it’s peppered with what Kanye describes as “a collection of thoughts and theories.”  So you know it’s super uber profound.

Case in point.  Two pages are devoted to this philosophical blurb:  “Life is 5% what happens and 95% how you react!”  I don’t know about you, but that is LIFE CHANGING for me.  It’s a wonder I’ve been able to wake up every morning without the benefit of Kanye’s wisdom before now.

 Here’s another gem:  “I feel like to misuse, overuse or abuse someone is negative. To use is necessary and if you can’t be used, then you are useless.”

 Kanye dedicated his book to his late mom, and said, “My mom taught me to believe in my flyness and conquer my shyness.  She raised me to be the voice to allow people to think for themselves, to find their own way.”

Again, I think we should all be thanking our lucky stars that the earth has been blessed with the gift of Kanye.  Without his voice, you see, we would have no ability to think for ourselves or find our own way.

Praise be to Kanye.

(snort)

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