This ad for some aftershave product is creepy from the very beginning, because it features a mountain lion applying aftershave. But during the first few seconds, I was like, “Ok – this isn’t TOO terrible. I mean, it’s an odd choice for marketing, but it’s just a mountain lion, and not really a big deal.”
But then you get to the last couple seconds, and you realize that whatever marketing wackjobs put this ad together are not only promoting mountain lions wearing aftershave, but they are also promoting GAY MAN AND ANIMAL SEX.
Look. I can deal with gay. In fact, I even have a new sassy gay friend, Marcel, who knows the difference between ascots and scarves. But I CANNOT deal with gay men who want to have relations of a sexual nature with mountain lions wearing aftershave. I have my limits.
This 71 year old dude, Hansi, who was actually given a TV SHOW in Germany called The Farmer Wants A Wife, is fond of arousing his chickens. On a recent broadcast of the show (which, incidentally, was watched by over 8 million viewers) he fondled a chicken and said, “I do what the cockerel would usually do, only with my finger. It is like an orgasm for the chicken.” He went on to say that’s he is “always happy when the chickens are happy.”
PETA, never failing to point out the obvious, said, “This behavior is an offense and is not acceptable.” Well, thanks PETA. Because had you not released that insightful statement, I may have been mistakenly under the impression that fingering a chicken was ok.
Anyway, Hansi, who is also famous for being a nudist, was given the TV show to find a new bride after his wife Elsa left him. She divorced him, she said, when she found out that he was a regular visitor of nudist beaches. Hansi called her a prude and said that she “wouldn’t even do the gardening topless.” Yeah – that woman was clearly a BEAST. How DARE she refuse his request to garden in the nude. What a beyotch.
Shockingly, Hansi’s search for love on the show was an epic failure, since the woman he picked saw him pleasuring a chicken and decided that maaaaybe he was a total nutcase. She said, “You always hear jokes about what lonely farmers do to their animals. I am disgusted. This is not my world.”