Archive for the 'I Hate Ashley Judd' Category

Ashley On The Prowl

Warning:  This is a Meow Moment.

This is what it looks like when 45 year old women with flabby arms and way too much make-up on try to be flirtatious.

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Please, Gerard Butler, please know that you are infinitely too awesome for her.  And I don’t even know anything about you.  I just know that she’s not good enough for you.

Ashley Judd Wore This Dress ON PURPOSE, You Guys.

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this photo of Ashley Judd at the Bluegrass Ball in KY from last night:

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Holy heinous.  She also tweeted this one from her limo on her way to the event:

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The caption to that read, “So … Just how big is my ball gown?”

I’ll tell you how big, Ashley.  TOO FREAKING BIG.  That gown is absurd.

As an added treat, the same alert and astute mockdocker who sent me these two photos also sent one from a past event which I CANNOT BELIEVE I haven’t seen before, because you know I’ve seen just about every bad photo of Ashley that ever existed.   Still – somehow, someway, this one was new to me:

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Yikes.

For someone who has the ABILITY to look quite pretty, I’m surprised at how often she chooses to look like a haggard bag lady.

Does This Happen To You?

Have you ever intensely disliked someone SO MUCH that no matter what they did, no matter how insignificant, it would  COMPLETELY ANNOY THE BEJEEZUS out of you, even though if, say, your best friend or husband did the exact same thing, it would barely even register?

Welcome to this tweet by Ashley Judd:

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“Hiccoughs” – she says.  Not hiccups, but hiccoughs.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not suggesting that it’s INCORRECT to spell it the way she did.  I’m saying that HER spelling it that way fits neatly and tightly right into the pretentious, haughty, self-aggrandizing personality that IS Ashley Judd.

Because regular normal people who aren’t trying desperately to impress others would just write, “hiccups.”

I AM SO ANNOYED BY THIS.

GAWD.

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You Know What I Haven’t Done In Awhile?

I haven’t mentioned how much I CANNOT STAND Ashley Judd.

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me an article today from my HOMETOWN PAPER, in which the columnist has her tongue so firmly planted in Ashley’s assular area that I am genuinely concerned it’ll never come out.

In it, the author (Cathy Kightlinger) says the following hilarity:

The actress — who counts former President Bill Clinton and singer Bono among her friends — tries unsuccessfully to avoid the spotlight at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway because she thinks that stage belongs to her husband.”

HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP.

I laughed so hard at that, and then was so absolutely FLABBERGASTED by Ashley’s ability to snow people, that I sent an email to Cathy Kightlinger which said this:

“I laughed SO HARD when you wrote that “Ashley Judd tries unsuccessfully to avoid the spotlight at the IMS…” in your column about her visit to Indy. There is no way you attended or watched that race. Because look here.

Fawning over celebrities is unbecoming.

Just sayin’. :)”

Seriously y’all – look at the link I included in the email, and travel down memory lane with me, won’t you? To the time when Ashley Judd won the Indy 500 this past May. The fact that Cathy Kightlinger thinks Ashley was trying to AVOID THE SPOTLIGHT proves that Cathy really needs to look into a tongue-from-assular-area removal kit OR at least actually LOOK AT HARD EVIDENCE before writing just totally inaccurate, hilariously wrong crap.

The rest of the column isn’t better. It’s like a huge list of crap Ashley has said, which has clearly delighted Cathy Kightlinger, but which people with Actual Brains knows is total nonsense.

You know what else is nonsense? The fact that Cathy Kightlinger can’t spell. She writes, “And she takes HIV/AIDS victims in her arms while the cameras role.”

ROLE?!?!? Seriously? OMG.

Cathy – Ashley Judd plays a ROLE when she hugs HIV/AIDS victims. Because she knows the cameras are ROLLING. Get it straight.

Cathy Kightlinger also tweeted a link to her column:

Yes.  Fascinating.  If you like chicks who lie about their TV shows being axed, say completely hypocritical things, and are so completely unaware of their own hypocrisy that I’m surprised it doesn’t cause Actual Pain.

And now, to add insult to injury, Ashley Judd is IN MY TOWN this weekend.  If you’re looking for her, she’ll be the one with the Indy Star columnist attached to her backside.  FYI.

Is Ashley Judd Aware That No Acting Awards Are Given For Tweets?

Because based on her overly dramatic reaction to VOTING, I’m guessing no one’s told her there are no tweet awards.

Seriously, Ashley.  CALM DOWN.

Conehead Level: EPIC.

I cannot TELL you how delighted I am that Ashley Judd keeps showing up on Worst Dressed lists.

I believe she mentioned on Twitter that she had THREE fittings for this frock.  And yet, it’s the most unflattering, too-big-in-the-bust, not-big-enough-in-the-hips nightmare of a dress EVER.

Plus, I LOATHE mermaid style dresses with the fury of a billion suns.

Meanwhile, check out the glorious reviews here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here.

Also, WTF is this pose?

Teapot poses are already ridiculous, but this variation of it is just ABSURD.

HATE.

 

More Of Conehead

Gleees! She Looks Horrid.

Seriously.  This is heinous. And her hair is absurd. And she’s puffy.

This makes me positively JOYFUL.

Just Because.

Good evening.

Ashley Judd Has Flabby Arms.

And that is the only thing right now that is keeping this day from not going down as one of the most stressful suckfest days ever.

Still having major stress over my other site, which is now reduced to bare bones and little to no interactivity.  Which is KILLING ME.

But at least Ashley Judd has flabby arms.  So, you know, I have that.

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