This Jayhawk Gets Ashley Judd. And So I Love Him.

Y’all have to read this hilarious column about why you should hate Kentucky basketball (which of course I do, because Ashley Judd loves it.)

But if you don’t feel like reading a bunch of basketball stuff, BEHOLD the paragraph that matters:

Ashley Judd is astoundingly overrated.  Double Jeopardy is garbage.  A Time to Kill isn’t terrible, if you’re willing to buy McConaughey as a capable attorney, and if you’ve heard “Yes they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell!” then you’ve pretty much seen the movie.  Kiss the Girls?  I liked it better the first time I saw it, when it was called Silence of the Lambs.  I’ll give her Heat, that movie is awesome– although really, all she does in that movie is cheat on Val Kilmer with friggin’ Hank Azaria, then have a change of heart and help Kilmer slip past the cops after the bank heist goes bad– not exactly a highlight reel worth mailing in to the Academy.  If I ever end up watching The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, then something has gone horribly wrong.

Add to that sterling resume’ the fact that she isn’t all that attractive, and I’m not sure how Judd is known as the superhot, superfamous actress that became the shining beacon of the Kentucky basketball fanbase.

ZING!!!!

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  • Janet Lee

    Yes! Loved that last paragraph.

  • Victor Ramirez

    And according to the IMDB, she’s still an entomologist!!!!

  • Janet Lee

    If that’s true, then I’m an astronaut!!!

  • Anna

    What do you all make of this? Was someone messing with AJ??

    ashley juddVerified [email protected]
    Thank you. [email protected]: Just watched Where The Heart Is. Natalie Portman, Stockard Channing & Joan Cusack. What a brilliant cast of women.”

  • Janet Lee

    It’d be good if they had mentioned Sally Field as well, because she was only in it for about 5 minutes.

  • Hannah_955

    OMG I love this guy. He forgot to mention that he also loved “Double Jeopardy” the first time around – when it was called “The Fugitive.”

    I see that my change from “etymologist” to “entemologist” on IMDB has stuck. Considering she starred in the incredibly bad “Bug” (chewing on the scenery and desperately trying to keep up with her more capable co-star) … I thought she should be an entemologist 🙂

    You guys this is a new low even for Ashley Judd:

    http://www.womansday.com/life/saving-money/ashley-judd-long-term-care?src=spr_TWITTER&spr_id=1446_116163075

    Here she manages to provide a really inappropriate photo of herself lying on a bed next to a man dying of Alzheimers who basically doesn’t know who she is, whom she calls her PawPaw even though she is not related to him legally or by blood … at least in this article she actually admits that he is her “adopted” PawPaw – usually she forgets to say that … and then she shills for long-term care without saying that she is a paid spokesperson for GenWorth.

    In some interviews she says that she was holding him in her arms when he died, even though his official obituary (linked to by his widow) says that he died with his wife and grandson in the room, and “other family” in the house.

    Unfortunately that page doesn’t allow comments.

  • Hannah_955

    Adding that I read it in more detail and she says she “teamed with GenWorth” – so she does mention them, but doesn’t mention she’s paid to shill for them.

  • Janet Lee

    Getting attention to herself by using someone with a degenerative illness, what’s wrong with that? Exactly.

    Haha, The Fugitive. With one half of the cast member too!

  • Hannah_955

    Janet – exactly! It was a remake of “The Fugitive” right down to Tommy Lee Jones as the pursuing lawman (er, parole officer). The funny thing is, the only two hits she ever actually headlined (“Double Jeopardy” and “Kiss The Girls”) – both in another millenium (hee!) – had extremely strong bankable male co-stars – TLJ and Morgan Freeman. And, I noticed that while her average box office per movie skyrocketed on those films, Tommy Lee Jones’ and Morgan Freeman’s box office DECLINED. From which I infer, Ashley Judd is a drag on box office in any movie in which she appears, and the real reason people went to see those films was to see Tommy Lee Jones and Morgan Freeman. Anybody could have played her role and most female stars would have put more butts in theater seats than she did.

    Whatever that elusive “it” factor is – she just doesn’t have it.

  • Hannah_955

    Oh, and that photo with her “PawPaw?” He was R.L. McCarty, the husband of Tennie McCarty, her grandmother-of-choice (who is only 25 years older than Ashley which is, um, weird) … who runs Shades of Hope, the rehab center in Texas where Wynonna went, and then they all said to Ashley that she needed to stay for 6 weeks of in-patient therapy and after that she was their special pet.

    Anyway, she met Tennie and R.L. in 2006 when she was 38 years old. She wrote her book in 2011 and mentioned R.L. exactly ONCE, and it was not a story about him, it was just “I went to see Tennie, and R.L. opened the door of the house.” That’s the full extent of her mentioning her so-called beloved PawPaw in her 2011 book.

    He died of Alzheimer’s in 2013, and you know that people who have Alzheimers start forgetting people and having cognitive issues YEARS before they actually die.

    So, I’m wondering whether her beloved PawPaw-of-choice EVER even knew who she was!

    And yet, here she is taking selfies in bed with his near-corpse, using them to shill for GenWorth which pays her to represent them, and claiming publicly that he died in her arms even though his official obituary says that he died with his wife and grandson in the room (and other family in the house).

    You know, I suspect that to her, people are often just props to be used either to earn money, or to support her self-mythology as this compassionate, caring person. In this case, she got a two-fer.

    I didn’t think my opinion of her could sink any lower than it already had, but somehow she managed to do it.

  • Hannah_955

    Here’s something interesting. Dario received an MBE two days ago in London from Prince William. It’s quite an honor, though this wasn’t a knighthood we don’t have to call him Sir Dario. He tweeted this on 11/26:

    Dario Franchitti

    @dariofranchitti

    ·

    Nov 26

    Thanks for the kind words, I was honoured to be presented with my MBE today & delighted my family were there with me

    That must have really stung Ashley Judd. I notice that she has not tweeted anything about his MBE. I guess those “family forever” tweets when they announced their separation didn’t reflect *somebody’s* true feelings.

    I wish Dario would hurry up and get remarried and have babies!

  • Janet Lee

    Yes! Would love to see little Franchitti babies. He will definitely get married and have kids, just a matter of when. I think his next serious girlfriend will become his wife.

    Her behaviour is bordering on sociopathy. She has the traits of someone with Cluster B personality. She can no longer use the “I had a rough childhood” as an excuse to behave the way she does. Newsflash Ashley – you’re a grown woman. So grow up and stop using people for your own gain. It’s utterly shameful.

    You are NOT a humanitarian. Take a note out of Dr Catherine Hamlin’s life. Real humanitarians don’t flaunt their lives or the work that they do. Whilst they make sure that their causes get known, they never put themselves on a pedestal and expect people to fall all over them. Since you claim that the dictionary is your favourite book, look up the following words: Humility; Modesty; Humble.

  • Hannah_955

    We haven’t had an Ashley thread recently so I thought I would just post here. Ashley was in the first segment of Nicholas Kristof’s “A Path Appears” on PBS on Monday … it’s a three-parter on sex trafficking, wherein he takes actors on ridealongs to interview people in that milieu, for no other reason than … well I think he thinks if he uses actors more people will watch his documentary, and he’s probably right about that. So he takes Ashley Judd to Nashville to look at the seamy underbelly of Nashville and act all knowing about it, and of course when you go to the slums in a town you do it BAREFOOT (which – yuck).

    By the way, folks, the word “prostitution” is not PC anymore; Ashley puts it in quotes now. Because there’s no such thing as a prostitute or hooker anymore – there are just people who are victims of sex trafficking.

    So, Ashley goes to a meeting at Magdalene House, which is actually this pretty awesome place started by a female Episcopal priest who just waded in and actually DID SOMETHING about girls who get sucked into prostitution at an early age. I was impressed by this minister, I think her name is drug use … so she started Magadelene House where women Becca Summers, because she’s capable of critical thinking, and she sees the cause and effect of childhood sexual abuse and who get off the street can stay for two years, and they have job training, therapy, and a safe healthy environment in which to live.

    Anyway Ashley walks in trailing Nicholas Kristof and a camera crew, while they’re having a support meeting, Everybody’s already there, like props when she makes her entrance. And, as in many support groups, people introduce themselves. BRIEFLY. Typically, you go around the circle and each person gives one line.

    Well dear ole Ashley didn’t get that memo. Wow, how she didn’t get that memo. Cuz this is what we get when it’s her turn (this is all in the documentary):

    http://video.pbs.org/video/2365387809/

    Hi, I’m Ashley, I’m a grateful recovering depressed codependent … [garbled] … self-harmer … [garbled] … love addict, love avoidant, adult child of alcoholics, addicts and sex addicts … survivor of all forms of sexual abuse including incest and rape and about that, I have no shame. And I am ….

    …(then it fades out from her actual long-winded self-introduction) … but then we get her all-knowing voiceover:

    “I think that shedding the shame of child abuse is the fulcrum for being able to speak openly and confidently … giving the toxic shame back to the perpetrator. getting it externalized and putting it back where it belongs. So I’m really comfortable in a setting like that, and I’m pretty lucky that I didn’t end up in a similar situation.”

    … then back to her in the group *still* sucking all the air out of the room, *still* introducing herself as others listen:

    “And I’m grateful to be here and grateful to know how to take care of myself. So, it’s good to be with my family.”

    Then she smirks and looks around the room like “so, I get the gold star, right? RIGHT?”

    And everybody says “Welcome to the circle” in lukewarm voices.

  • Janet Lee

    I couldn’t watch the video because of ‘right restrictions’, but it doesn’t matter, as you’ve already put everything I needed to know. Every time she speaks about herself, she adds more trauma to her life. Yes, we know that she was neglected a lot when she was growing up and her mother was selfish. It’s not right, but she’s certainly not the only one. I doubt people identify themselves with her more because of what she’s telling them. She’s a grifter.

  • Hannah_955

    Truly, she’s a grifter. great word! She just gloms onto issues and uses them to promote herself, and transforms herself, chameleon-like, into whatever she thinks will sell her shtick. So if she’s thinking about running for office in Kentucky, all of a sudden she’s all “yall” and talking about the flowers “we have down yonder in Kentucky” and if she’s talking about gender violence then all of a sudden she’s a three-time survivor of rape.