Ashley Judd Wants You To Know How Much More “Shocking” Her Life Is Than Anyone Else’s.

I just read the most hilarious article about a keynote address Ashley Judd gave in Canada the other day. BEHOLD THIS EXCERPT (emphasis on the parts that made me roll my eyes the hardest):

She has experience volunteering with organizations that combat human trafficking, but declined to speak about those experiences. Instead, spoke about herself and the neglect and abuse she suffered in her childhood, which she disclosed in a 2012 autobiography. She spoke at length and apparently off-the-cuff about her relationship with her parents, her therapy and the death of her dog.

She drew a connection to human trafficking by saying she was like the victims, even though she has never been trafficked.

The Canadian Women’s Foundation had shown a short documentary they made about a women who’d been trafficked into the sex trade by men she met at a Winnipeg mall. He later kidnapped her, repeatedly raped her and forced her into prostitution. Judd said she was like that girl.

“I was that girl at the mall,” said Judd. “It’s a miracle I am standing here today. When I tell this story, it surprises me the extremity of my particular narrative. Not everybody has a story as shocking, or whatever you want to call it, as mine.”

Seriously, is there anyone on the planet more insufferable than Ashley, who can watch a documentary on a woman being repeatedly raped and forced into prostitution, and then immediately say that not everyone has a story as shocking as her own?” SERIOUSLY?


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  • Janet Lee

    If Ashley were standing next to me right now, I may feel the urge to punch her in the face. I am so angry about what she has said.

  • Hannah_955

    I know, is this not INSANE? Every time she goes on the rubber chicken circuit and gives a speech on a different subject, she not only presents herself as an expert on the topic (based on what? a few weeks in Africa 10 years ago? slumming with Bono on college campuses 11 years ago?) … but she then has to relate it to her own life.

    You know, while I was hanging out for six hours today at the vet school while my dog got chemo, I actually read that article. There is only one comment but it’s well worth quoting, because it’s from someone who was there:

    4 days ago

    As a supporter of the Canadian Women’s Foundation I was let down by the keynote speech. Ms. Judd has traveled the World assisting women in desperate situations. I was hoping to hear more about that, what everyday women can do to help.I believe the speech she gave was out of place for the event. I wish healing for her.”

  • Hannah_955

    Oh, and she was busy this past weekend doing the Ragnar Relay in Tennessee. For those who don’t know what it is, 12 runners per team get into two vans (Van 1 and Van 2) and take turns running a total of 36 legs totalling about 200 miles. So, doing the math, each runner runs about 17 miles.

    This race started Friday morning in Chattanooga and ended Saturday afternoon in Nashville. The legs each runner runs are pre-determined by that runner’s start order. Runner 1 will run legs 1, 13 and 25 for example. And, while the runners in Van 1 are doing legs 1 to 6 for example (which would take about 5 hours), Van 2 can go ahead to the exchange point and just wait. She was the first runner in Van 2 so technically she was runner 7 and she ran legs 7, 19 and 31.

    She ran a total of 17.2 miles in about a 24 hour period, and her first leg was quite hilly, so gotta give her props for going the distance – literally.

    She dragged poor Shug along. Can you imagine if all of her teammates had brought their dogs? And she was front and center in every team photo even though she wasn’t the captain.

    She lost any sympathy I might have dragged up for her with her self-absorbed tweets and posting photos of herself throughout the race:

    @My5k262 @RagnarRelay Catch me after my night run. It will show. My dear team captain have me 3 “difficults.” Flattered until it hurts!!

    (because she was assigned to run three legs that were rated difficult)

    Then she finds time to shill (again) for the company that made her camping tent and the company that makes some weird crap she rubs on or sniffs or shoves up her a$$ or something:

    “Holy moly. Time to get out of my toasty @Big_Agnes bag & do my night 6m @RagnarRelay run. @younglivingeo Highest Potential, do your thing!”

    No, by Highest Potential she is not referring to the God of Her Understanding, but to some oil which is described thusly:

    “Highest Potential™ is an exotic blend designed to increase your capacity to achieve your highest potential. It combines the uplifting and inspirational qualities of Australian Blue with the power of Gathering to help bring greater unity of purpose. Jasmine is added to enhance self-confidence, while ylang ylang calms, soothes, and harmonizes.”

    OF COURSE she would take something like this (“for topical or aromatic use”). And you should know it is Kosher Certified.


    “All done with my legs, so pleased with my times. @RagnarRelay”

    But wait, it gets better. When somebody tweeted her that they hadn’t realized who she was when they saw her during the race she replied:

    “I am just a #runner amongst runners today”

    #OhTheModesty But … “runner” needs a hashtag – because why?


    “Let the @RagnarRelay after care begin.”

    This was accompanied by a photo of her with her foot resting on some random course monitor’s shoulder, while she does some weird yoga pose.

    The next day:

    “How long did you sleep after your @RagnarRelay ? Me, 15 hours. Feel like a goddess!”

    Guess she is back in her place in the pantheon (inside joke).

    Then today:

    “Basking in camaraderie & accomplishment of @RagnarRelay – all first timers & rookie mistakes, but we were fast!”

    OK, let me nitpick a little. First, her team finished ELEVEN HOURS behind the winners. Second, her team’s average pace was slower than a 10 minute mile. That is not fast by any definition of the word. Third, her team finished 162nd out of 220 teams. Just about in the bottom quarter.

    Yup, aside from those three inconvenient truths, they kicked ass!

  • Hannah_955

    aaand she’s being very coy about a recent “profound loss” which I assume is her dog Buttermilk’s death, since the article about her Canada speech comes right out and talks about “the death of her dog” so obviously she is not above using it in her speeches to get sympathy …

    She posted this on facebook yesterday:

    I’ve been quiet for a fee weeks, walking through a profound loss, about
    which I will share more soon. In the meantime, I did want simply to say

    She hasn’t been quiet on twitter at all.

  • Hannah_955

    Oh, and a woman posted a facebook rant about Ashley Judd:

    “Ok so Ashley Judd is coming to my area. I hope that she still remembers that while saving her dog from death; she cursed me out in front of about 350 people; roughly. Warm welcome to you Ashley. I hope you love your stay here.”

    Apparently this woman Kristen was cast in “Salvation,” Ashley’s failed TV pilot that wasn’t picked up this Spring. And apparently during filming she saved Buttermilk’s life. And Ashley screamed at her. So on her bio in career highlights she puts (sarcastically, I think): “Working with Ashley Judd’s dog.”

    Then on twitter, talking to another actor friend she says: “hi there on set hubby! Did you hear about #salvation not being picked up?! Maybe the dog shouldn’t have come on set…#oops”

    And her actor friend replies that Salvation’s fate was probably due to the “curse of Ashley Judd” (since her TV shows generally don’t do well).

  • Hannah_955

    I asked the woman about saving Ashley’s dog and she was kind enough to reply. Here’s the story:

    “My fun time with Ms. Judd and her dog took place in Dallas, shooting a pilot (which NBC thankfully chose NOT to pick up) in Dallas. She brights her dog on set, I repeat ON SET and it sits by her WHILE the camera is rolling. So pooch (not a clue what the dog’s name is—but the dog is cute for what it’s worth) decided to make a run for the automatic doors which lead right to the VERY busy parking lot (oh no, production didn’t pay to shut down any part of the area we were filming; including inside the grocery store where all the action was taking place) and since I was on my mark right at the door; my instinct was to save the dog. So I put my legs together in a blocking move… step; just pick up the pooch. Oh heavens no. I am going to hell in Judd’s book. “Put my f-ing dog DOWN!!!” That’s the short version. I did eventually get an apology from one of her assistants…had the pleasure of finishing the pilot for the next few days with Judd, and avoided all contact. So that’s the short version. XO KM Just calling it how it is.”

  • Jay

    I’m at a loss for words. The Canadian speech – horrible. The Ragnar – full of herself beyond belief. How she treated the gal who saved her dog’s life – nasty. And her assistant had to apologize? The woman is beyond insufferable.
    Great reporting Hannah! Good luck with your dog, I hope the treatment works.

  • Janet Lee

    SO relieved that Dario isn’t with her anymore. I think she really does have delusions of grandeur. Feel bad for the assistant and the other actors who had to be around her, especially the one Ashley cursed at.

    Yes, Hannah, hope your dog will be okay.

  • Hannah_955

    Thanks for kind wishes about my dog. Unfortunately due to her original owner whoever that was, not spaying her, she had multiple heats in her first 3-5 years which increases chances of mammary cancer. I found some nodules, we took out the nodules and mammary gland but it had already spread to her lymph nodes. At this point, chemo is just to buy her some time – if it works. Fortunately she feels great and doesn’t know she’s sick – it hasn’t spread to her lungs or anything that would affect her well-being yet. Chemo was on Wednesday – crossed fingers because if she’s in the 15-20% who have a reaction it’ll be in the next few days. We won’t know if it worked until we restage it (Xrays, etc) after third treatment in mid-December.

    In the meantime, she’s getting lots of love and treats and long walks on the beach!

  • Hannah_955

    If you want to see Ashley Judd in the Ragnar Relay, go to this link and then look for Bib #259. She’s the one who’s half naked.

  • Hannah_955

    More comments from people in attendance at Ashley Judd’s speech in Toronto:

    “I was unaware of those issues. I thought she donated her time as she is well known for using her voice for charity. I am sorry she feels she has such a difficult life. She seems to be emotionally challenged. Her speech was out of place. It was more suited to a recovery group audience. My entire table exchanged looks of confusion as she spoke.

    I purchased her book after the event. I hope she writes better than she speaks.”

    “I would of liked to of heard from a survivor ( or two as I am aware they were in the audience ) and would of paid more so the survivor is paid appropriately for their strength. This is where you feel the impact more ………”

    “I personally met a few survivors in attendence. One woman had an amazing story of how she turned her life around. If only those with powerful stories had been chosen to speak.”

  • Hannah_955

    Give me a reality check, folks.

    Is Ashley Judd’s tone not downright PERKY as she starts her speech with the words “Before the age of 18 I was raped twice?”

    There’s no emotion in her tone, it’s almost like she’s whipping out laminated credentials and flashing them to the crowd so they’ll accept her as an authority on the topic of rape.

    She appeared today at a rally to protest Tennessee’s proposed Amendment which, in its entirety, reads as follows:

    “Shall Article I, of the Constitution of Tennessee be amended by adding the following language as a new, appropriately designated section: Nothing in this Constitution secures or protects a right to abortion or requires the funding of an abortion. The people retain the right through their elected state representatives and state senators to enact, amend, or repeal statutes regarding abortion, including, but not limited to, circumstances of pregnancy resulting from rape or incest or when necessary to save the life of the mother.”

  • Janet Lee

    “… so they’ll accept her as an authority on the topic of rape”

    Yes, that’s what I was thinking. Somehow, mentioning her own life will give her more credibility. How long is she going to repeat her own story before she stops talking about herself and actually do something for the people who need helping?! Let’s start with: STOP charging ridiculous amount for your damn stories and ‘speeches’ and ‘appearances’. Enough already.

  • Hannah_955

    Janet – Most people don’t know that these “humanitarian” celebrities actually get paid a lot of money. Bono gets over $100K to show up for a couple of hours. Did you know that Mia Farrow was paid $188,000 by the government of Ecuador to go down there and have a photograph of herself taken with oil all over her hands? This was part of one of the most corrupt lawsuits in the history of the western hemisphere, against Chevron, in which judges, expert witnesses and even juries were bribed and a multi-billion dollar judgment against Chevron came down.

    The thing about these “humanitarian” celebrities is, they don’t want us to know that they’re raking in the big bucks.

    Which is why I cannot type the word “humanitarian” without quotation marks!

    Here’s the story about Mia Farrow:

  • Hannah_955

    Wow, I just saw “Taken” with Liam Neeson on TV last night. Three reactions:

    1) it was kick ass. And I normally don’t like this type of violent action movie.
    2) How on earth did the producers of Ashey’s craptastic TV show “Missing” not get SUED by the producers of “Taken?”
    3) Ashley Judd is no Liam Neeson.

    So, the parallels:

    – former spy parent, now retired
    – teenage kid goes to Paris
    – kid gets kidnapped
    – parent comes out of retirement and goes on the hunt for kid
    – former spy colleagues are not what they seem
    – sex trafficking sublot
    – vengeful parent (VP) does lots of running through European streets
    – the authorities are on VP’s trail, heightening VP’s stress (and allowing VP to look all badass by evading both the authorities and the bad guys)
    – VP kicks various bad guys’ asses
    – VP viciously tortures a bad guy, with no regrets

    Oh, and there’s even a scene where he uses a burner phone and then casually dumps it in a trash can. AJ did that in more than one scene.

    I mean, could it *be* any more derivative?

    The only problem is that the puffy Ashley Judd (she was still puffy back then) looks ridiculous trying to appear all bad ass while running around European capitals in mommy jeans and espadrilles. She was completey unconvincing, unlike Liam Neeson who OWNED the role.

  • Hannah_955

    Mockarena deftly skewered “Missing” when it was on (you could say she took a bullet for us, watching it so we didn’t have to, and posting recaps). This review from mainstream media pretty much sums up what was wrong with “Missing” (hint, its initials are AJ):

    “Torn between presenting as too soft and too tough, Judd hews to a strangely static middle ground that can only be characterized as “grim.”

    Speaking too often in a flat, expressionless voice with accompanying frozen-faced, direct-eye contact, Becca doesn’t appear desperate or furious (first her husband, now her kid?), or frightened or focused. She just seems to be efficiently moving from one oh-look-my-super-spy-skills-are-still-fully-functional moment to another without the slightest flicker of self-commentary (such as, “Boy, am I glad I kept up with the running”). Obviously, “Missing” is not a comedy, but even when the script gives this former cold-blooded spy lines that could be made human with a wry smile or a self-conscious laugh — “I joined the PTA, I went to soccer” — Judd plays them absolutely straight, like an operative dutifully reciting the steps of a mission.

    She can say, “I’m not a spy, I’m just a mother looking for her son” as often as she wants (and she does, with wearisome regularity), but since Judd makes it so difficult to engage with her character, Becca’s quest becomes less, rather than more, emotionally evocative. What viewers are left with, then, are some excellent fight and chase scenes, an outstanding supporting cast (who, alas, only highlight the main character’s deficiencies) and a lot of truly beautiful location work.”

  • Hannah_955

    Oops, I was totally wrong. The kid in “Missing” went to Rome, not Paris. Hee!

  • Janet Lee

    Oh Hannah, I definitely agree on the ‘humanitarians’. The thing which really gets me is that those frauds give the REAL humanitarians a bad name.

    Ashley would probably try to tell a room full of comfort women that her life is still harder and she had it worse than they did.

  • Hannah_955

    In Senate news, Alison Lundergan Grimes went down in a landslide to Mitch McConnell in Kentucky’s Senate Race. Meanwhile Ashley Judd is at home smirking because now she can pretend she would have won. Um, no, she would have been the worst roadkill in the entire country. ALG made some mistakes in her campaign but she is Kentucky Democratic royalty (as in she has lived there all her life and her father is – or was – the very influential chair of the Kentucky Democratic party) – she is very popular and she’s currently an elected official in the state.

    Ashley Judd on the other hand travels with her “emotional support” dogs and family therapist, hasn’t lived in Kentucky in 20 years, and likes to start her speeches by saying she’s a 3-time victim of rape. She also knows nothing about foreign policy, the economy, national security, or the national debt – “stuff” that maybe a senator should know. Ya think?

    On the other hand, she went to Harvard! For eight whole months! OK, she was in a program that is the second easiest to get into in all of Harvard. A program that has no – ZERO – academic prerequisites. That doesn’t even require that you have a bachelor’s degree. And she needed a private tutor just to get through THAT. But still – Harvard!

    Oh, and by the way, she’s *still* lying on her website and saying she has a Harvard MPA. She doesn’t. But she likes to give herself credit for the more academically rigorous two-year degree because she thinks people won’t know the difference.

    That might have come up during a Senate campaign. By that I mean, I might have pointed it out to the McConnell camp. Because LYING ON YOUR RESUME is generally a dealbreaker. It shows poor character. But then we already knew that about her.

    Oh, and speaking of lying, here she is in huffpo saying that her grandfather died in her arms. True. Except for the fact that it’s also a lie. Actually a double lie.

    First of all, he wasn’t her grandfather. No legal relation to her at all. But she’s pimping him out so she can shill for Genworth because he apparently bought end-of-life care insurance.

    Second of all – according to his on-line obituary (to which his widow links on her facebook page):

    “Roscoe Lee McCarty completed his journey early Wednesday Morning, April 17, 2013 with his wife of 50 years, Tennie and his grandson Spencer, by his side with other family members present in the home.”

  • Janet Lee

    ‘Her SCHOLARLY record’??!!!????? WHAT scholarly record?! She didn’t even know that she had finished uni!!!

    And where is Mira Sorvino on this list?! Her degree is actually real. And Danica McKellar. Also a real degree.

    Really? You don’t need an undergrad to do what she did at Harvard?

  • Hannah_955

    ACK! Once again Ashley is listed as having a Harvard MPA. Which is a 2 year degree. She has the MPA Lite – the one year degree with much easier coursework. Nope, while a bachelor’s is technically a requirement for the Mid-Career MPA, they do admit people without them. And there are no – zero – academic prerequisites! Unlike the actual 2 year MPA which has rigorous prerequisites.

    Yes, Mira Sorvino. An honors graduate of Harvard who went there for four years and majored in Chinese. And Danica McKellar who has written best-selling books on math and is one of the very few people on the planet who has both an Erdos number and a Bacon number.

  • Janet Lee

    She’s such a damn charlatan. Lately there have been a many posts on imdb about how awful she is. She always compliments herself by mentioning how attractive she is, but god forbid someone else mentions it, she throws a hissy fit by telling them not to objectify her.

  • Janet Lee

    I’m sure I’ll be able to think of at least 5 people who deserve to be on that list on the hour, every hour, but they definitely forgot Jodie Foster. Someone who can actually speak REAL French, like a total native. Every single French-speaking native I’ve met have said how flawless her French is. Unlike Ashley-I-Don’t-Wear-Underwear-Judd.

  • Janet Lee
  • Hannah_955

    Wow, the contempt is practically *dripping* from the page – whoever wrote this little blurb about Ashley’s appearance at the Virginia Film Festival to support her latest straight-to-video movie (that is, if it’s lucky enough to find a video distributor):

    (note the liberal use of quote marks when describing her dog’s role in supporting her)

    Ashley Judd brings ‘support dog’ to Virginia Film Festival

    “Ashley Judd brought her “psychological support dog” Shug to kick off the Virginia Film Festival with her movie, “Big Stone Gap,” Thursday in Charlottesville.

    Judd carried the beloved pet, who helps her cope with depression, with her “the whole night.”

    “She was teary-eyed because her dog Buttermilk recently died,” said a source.

    Buttermilk was given to Judd in 1999 as a gift after she wrapped “Double Jeopardy.”

    Also at the event were the film’s stars Jenna Elfman and Patrick Wilson.”

    I’m sorry but if a dog is so frail it needs to be carried upside down in its owners arms all night (and what dog likes to be carried like that, not good for the digestion and makes them feel vulnerable) … if it’s that frail it shouldn’t be hauled around Kingdom Come, it should be at home in peace and comfort. And if it’s not that frail, put the dog down and let it walk on all fours like it’s supposed to.

    I wonder why she is silent about Buttermilk on twitter and only hinted about his death on Facebook while she’s obviously telling rubber chicken and film festival audiences about it. Methinks maybe she’s shopping a memoir about “The King” since there has never been a dog like him, EVER. Except, you know, all the fabulous dogs that we mere mortals are lucky to have in our lives. But since he belonged to her he probably had qualities that mere mortals’ dogs couldn’t possibly have.

    Well at least ours are housetrained!

  • rebecca

    she’s nuts

  • Janet Lee

    You know what, I just watched a short interview with Mira Sorvino and she was talking NORMALLY using everyday NORMAL words. We know how intelligent she is, and yet, she is, and sounds like a regular person. It was refreshing!

  • Hannah_955

    Indeed, it can be done! I’ve been lucky in my life to meet and even socialize with a lot of successful people including spending 24 hours cooped up in a van playing in a puzzle hunt with a billionaire entrepreneur. You all would recognize his name. He was modest and unassuming. He asked me about myself and seemed interested in learning about me, and never once talked about himself. That’s what *truly* successful people do. They don’t need constant affirmation from other people. They’re centered within themselves.

    The thing is, people who are genuinely intellectual are interested in communicating clearly – they’re interested in ideas, not words. And they’re interested in engaging with other people, not lecturing to them and impressing them with how brilliant they are.

    Frankly, they *want* other people to be brilliant too, because it’s lonely being the smartest person in the room – and when you’re focused on your vision and maybe, like Steve Jobs, you’re the only person who can see it … you want other people to catch up with you and help you achieve it.

    Ashley Judd is a scared little girl playing grownup, hoping that if she talks fast enough and memorizes enough big words and facts and homilies and cobbles them all together and spits them out …she can convince people she is good enough.

    It’s kind of pitiful really. It’s sort of like the emperor’s new clothes – everybody subsidizes her illusion because either (a) they see through her but don’t have the heart to put her down, and her celebrity is useful to them (such as politicians) or (b) they don’t bother to look below the surface and are easily impressed (the american public).

    I swear, if I see one more person on a comment thread say “Well, Ashley Judd has a HARVARD degree” as if that’s game, set and match I’m going to hurl. Only somebody who has never set foot in an Ivy League school would hold Harvard in such high esteem. And when you combine that with the fact that her degree is a JOKE, even at Harvard. Well, Ashley Judd is the triumph of appearances over reality is all I can say!

  • Hannah_955

    Oh and yeah, Mira Sorvino. Compare her to Ashley Judd:

    1) went to Harvard for four years, graduated summa cum laude in Chinese – a language in which she is fluent

    2) has an Academy award

    3) had four kids after the age of 35

    I have heard rumors that Mira Sorvino has a huge ego and is a bit of a bitch. But at least she has the achievements to back it up!

    She also dabbles in humanitarian causes and addressed the UN.

    But yeah – she speaks simply and effectively. She doesn’t need to impress people with her brain by memorizing the dictionary.