Ashley Judd Is Being Puffy Again.

Wait. Did I say puffy? I meant political. Yeah. The video is autoplay, which I hate, so it’s after the jump. But here’s a picture from it, which will explain my post title.

 

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  • Amy

    today is Wynonna’s bday. Wonder if AJ will tweet her.

  • Mockarena

    I wondered the same thing!

  • Jessica

    Well it is allergy err filler season.

  • Hannah_955

    Well I don’t know if she’s puffy but dang, she’s SHINY.

    I just moseyed over here to share with you that she said on twitter that she is running her first half-marathon tomorrow, but then today, this late-breaking update:

    “Oh, drats. Feeling viral!!! Would you still run? I am a newcomer, please share your experience! #halfmarathon #running”

    OMG what a genius move.

    OF COURSE she’s going to run the half marathon.

    If she does poorly, she can blame it on the “viral.” And get all sorts of pats on the back for being a trouper and showing up anyway. Only people will undoubtedly spell it trooper.

    Cuz you know one of her favorite expressions is “suit up and show up.”

    And if she does well, she can claim she would have done EVEN BETTER if not for the viral.

    Wonder which half she’s running.

  • Hannah_955

    Duh, here it is:

    http://www.halfmarathons.net/usa_half_marathons_tennessee_franklin_half_marathon.html

    It’s in Leiper’s Fork. Mile 10 is actually darned close to her house. The start is less than 4 miles from her house so maybe a 15 minute drive. I imagine she wouldn’t have much competition in her age group in a small half marathon – she probably picks these small local events because she knows she could possibly win her age group whereas in larger events she’d be passed by hundreds of runners.

    Cuz you know, it’s not whether you’re racing against really good runners that people will remember, it’s whether you WIN.

    Ah here’s last year’s results:

    http://racesonline.com/events/franklin-half-marathon/results/2013/search/242/div/1511/F

    68 women age 45-49 ran in the half, 62 finished. Only four women broke a 9 minute mile. Now, Ashley hasn’t run in a competitive event at a distance longer than 6 miles I believe, but she ran a sub 8 minute mile in those, and she’s so competitive you better believe she trained for this (while pretending she didn’t really …) so I can see her finishing in the top five. The winner last year ran an 8:03 pace, I think that would be tough for AJ over 13 miles but who knows.

    I hope somebody there tweets about her snapping her fingers and demanding room temperature water like she did at the other race she did!

  • Hannah_955

    Oh and wow. May 30th wasn’t just Wynonna’s birthday it was her 50th birthday, a real milestone. Ashley tweeted NOTHING on her sister’s big day. Maybe the fact that she went to court to get custody of her spoiled brat daughter might have had something to do with that.

  • Hannah_955

    A discussion of last year’s race, the inaugural race. http://momsrunthistown.com/mcdonoughga/race-recap-inaugural-franklin-tn-half-marathon/

    Apparently this is a challenging, hilly course. So an 8:03 pace for the women’s 45-49 winner is REALLY good. I don’t think Ashley Judd could manage that over 13 miles on a hilly course.

  • Hannah_955

    Results from AJ’s half marathon (her tweets):

    “Gosh, I did it! Not a runner until a months ago, I ran my first #halfmarathon in under projected time & with negative splits. It was fun!”

    “@rgowan
    I passed these guys at the end and they said, “No fair.” I was like,
    ??!? “You were in my way!!” I think I had quite a bit left. :)”

    Um, about those negative splits? (that means: second half faster than first half). Well DUH. Look at the course elevation:

    http://franklinhalfmarathon.com/course/

    The first six miles are basically uphill, the next seven downhill. If you don’t run negative splits something is seriously wrong with you.

    She’s not tweeting her actual time so I assume she’s making the best of the fact that she didn’t win her age group. She’s really good at spinning existing facts into the story that flatters her the most.

  • Hannah_955

    Well, that’s weird. Her name isn’t listed in the results:

    http://results.chronotrack.com/event/results/event/event-7261?lc=en

  • Hannah_955

    Somebody tweeted this to her:

    koula callahan
    ‏@koulathanyou
    @AshleyJudd ran behind you most of the way at the #FranklinHalfMarathon – thanks for the great pace!! Congrats on your first half!

    I looked up Koula Callahan’s results, and she ran a pretty slow 10:01 average pace. If Ashley Judd was in her sights for most of the race then Ashley was pretty darned slow. A 10 minute pace doesn’t even put her in the top 10 in her age group.

  • Janet Lee

    Hannah, when I read the part where you wrote “If you’re not doing negative splits (re: uphill first half, downhill second half), something is wrong with you”, I burst out laughing! Agree with your comment regarding her ‘illness’ slowing her down and blaming it for it, if she didn’t get a respectable time.

  • Jay

    Hi everyone, hi Hannah! I died and went to Heaven when Mock called me alert and astute. The ultimate honor. I’ve been travelling too much and Disqus confused me. But I digress.

    What’s with AJ saying “Gosh, I did it! Not a runner until a months ago” A MONTHS AGO. What does that even mean? She’s been training rigorously for over a year. DUH. I hate when people think I’m stupid. I’m alert and astute!

    I think AJ reads Mock. Case in point, we were merciless about her flabby arms and puffiness so she starts running and gets in the shape of her life. Then, did she own an Indy ring? Shortly thereafter, for no good reason, she posts a picture wearing said ring. There were other things, but that’s all for now. Hope you are all doing well!

  • Jessica

    Sort of. The photo was taken a few days before when someone asked if she had one as they have only never noticed her pendant. It was posted as a dig at someone who tweeted something snarky then went back and deleted it. It’s a lovely ring.

    Jay you are alert and astute.

  • Hannah_955

    Jay, it is the highest honor to be in Mockarena’s “alert and astute” club!

    So, I thought why not ask AJ why she’s not in the official results, and she replied:

    Hannah 955 @Hannah_955:disqus
    @AshleyJudd You’re not listed in the race results, how come?

    results.chronotrack.com/event/results/… – 07 Jun

    ashley judd @AshleyJudd
    @Hannah_955:disqus A little privacy is nice.

    Really? She had no trouble registering publicly for the race she ran last year, nor appearing in the photos of the event, nor leaving her results public when she could have asked for them to be redacted. Because? She did relatively well in a very small field.

    Now, all of a sudden, she wants privacy? While TWEETING about the event? With people tweeting to her that they saw her there, so it’s no secret that she was there, and which race she ran?

    I’m guessing she asked for her results to be redacted when she didn’t finish high enough in the standings for her age group. There’s no other reason for the switch to “privacy.”

    09:00 PM – 07 Jun 14

  • Hannah_955

    I replied:

    @AshleyJudd Privacy? In race last year, results were public, including yours. You tweeted about this race, only missing data is your TIME!

  • Hannah_955

    Oh how funny. She links to a instagram photo of her “race detritus” as she calls it, including her bib number 1069. So I mosey over to the race results page and put in that bib number and this is what pops up:

    She raced under the name Jane Wells from Los Angeles, CA. As a MALE.

    Her finishing time was 2:05:18 for a 9:34 pace.

    This would have put her in 7th place of 37 women in the 45-49 age group, 78th place of 345 women and 244th of 661 overall runners.

    http://results.chronotrack.com/event/results/event/event-7261?lc=en

  • Hannah_955

    Interestingly, there is a Jane Wells in Los Angeles, a CNBC news reporter. Why Ashley would use her name, and why she would register as a male, is mysterious. She also screwed up the results for the M45-49 category, in which she didn’t belong, but her results were counted in that division.

  • Hannah_955

    And, a photo tweeted by a runner in the race:

    https://twitter.com/ncq47935/status/475282384410005505/photo/1

  • Hannah_955

    OMG I can’t stop snarking. Just look at this tweet – after looking at this photo I simply CANNOT UNDERSTAND why Ashley Judd’s clothing line failed!

    https://twitter.com/sarahwalthers31/status/475387956765925377/photo/1

  • EllieUK

    Ha, I saw the tweet of that dress Hannah. I have no idea when her clothing line was out – but anything past 1982 and it’s very fuddy duddy (do you use that term over there?). Probably was then too…

  • Guest

    Ashley Judd’s race results were less than stellar. Despite her tweeting that it’s the perfect distance for her, she’s not suited to the half marathon. She did much better in a shorter, less hilly race.

    There are age group rankings for females in 5 year increments, then there’s masters (age 40-49) and Grand Masters (age 50 and up). She wouldn’t have won any female age group except the 65+ group, and she was beaten by a bunch of women who are older than she is, including one who was over 60. Here’s how she would have done in each of those groups based on her 9:34 pace:

    Females Overall
    78 out of 345

    Females age 20-24
    8 out of 32

    Females age 25-29
    15 out of 56

    Females age 30-34
    15 out of 53

    Females age 35-39
    17 out of 62

    Females age 40-44
    11 out of 52

    Females age 45-49
    7 out of 37

    Females age 50-54
    8 out of 21

    Females age 55-59
    2 out of 12

    Females age 60-64
    2 out of 6

    Females age 65+
    1 out of 4

    masters females (40-49)
    17 out of 89

    grand masters females (50+)
    10 out of 43

  • Hannah_955

    AJ’s race results were less than stellar. Despite her tweeting that it’s the perfect distance for her, she’s not suited to the half marathon. She did much better in a shorter, less hilly race.

    There are age group rankings for females in 5 year increments, then there’s masters (age 40-49) and Grand Masters (age 50 and up). She wouldn’t have won any female age group except the 65+ group, and she was beaten by a bunch of women who are older than she is, including one who was over 60. Here’s how she would have done in each of those groups based on her 9:34 pace:

    Females Overall
    78 out of 345

    Females age 20-24
    8 out of 32

    Females age 25-29
    15 out of 56

    Females age 30-34
    15 out of 53

    Females age 35-39
    17 out of 62

    Females age 40-44
    11 out of 52

    Females age 45-49
    7 out of 37

    Females age 50-54
    8 out of 21

    Females age 55-59
    2 out of 12

    Females age 60-64
    2 out of 6

    Females age 65+
    1 out of 4

    masters females (40-49)
    17 out of 89

    grand masters females (50+)
    10 out of 43

  • Hannah_955

    So, Ashley Judd’s character is killed off in the first of the Divergent trilogy. One would not expect her to appear in the next two films. And, not listed in the cast list on IMDB. But yet she tweeted this today:

    Here we go!! #Insurgent @Divergent

    Oh and she didn’t acknowledge Wynonna’s 50th birthday AT ALL. Guess they are on the outs again. Pitiful.

  • Janet Lee

    Subtle.

  • Jay

    Mooma in couture. It’s too easy, I can’t snark on her. She looks like someone’s Nana.

    I checked ebay for you all and sadly, it’s one of a kind. But how about this lovely frock for your next red carpet event? Bidding starts at $6.95, a honey of a deal!

    http://www.ebay.com/itm/Womens-Ashley-Judd-Gold-Top-Large-3-4-Sleeve-Waist-Tie-/251553855393?pt=US_CSA_WC_Shirts_Tops&hash=item3a91c737a1

  • Jessica

    Why isn’t any of this stuff listed in my size? I’ll take Sweet Mooma’s dress in a 4 please.

  • EllieUK

    OMG Jay. Ewwww! Being in the UK I have been (blissfully) unaware of pretty much everything AJ related. When was this clothing range around? Where was it available (e.g. Supermarket, department store).

  • Hannah_955

    Jay, according to AJ’s wikipedia page:

    “In June 2007, Goody’s Family Clothing
    announced they were going to be releasing three fashion clothing lines
    with Judd in the fall to be called “AJ”, “Love Ashley” and “Ashley
    Judd”. Goody’s declared bankruptcy a year later due to slow sales and
    its last store closed in February 2009.”

    I felt bad snarking about the photo because Moomaw looked adorable but – no. Just NO.

  • EllieUK

    Thanks Hannah. It was me that asked about the line. Ugh, I have tried to reply to this on 2 previous occasions and the site (or my iPad?) just freezes. Let’s see if this works..

    What I said before was that you are not snarking about Moomaw. She looks a lovely lady and is wearing clothing appropriate to her age. We are snarking because it is in all probability not the target audience that AJ would like for her clothing range.

  • Jay

    Hannah, you’re the snarkiest woman I’ve never met! I love how you outed her on Twitter. The 1069 breadcrumb she threw ya was huge. Is she that dumb to think you wouldn’t look it up? Her medal says “earned not given”? She needed her privacy! She’s too far up in the pantheon to appear at the ceremony with the common folk. I’m surprised more people didn’t snap a picture of her.

  • Hannah_955

    Jay, you’re so kind :-) I don’t think she thought *I* would look it up – she doesn’t know me from a hole in the ground though my friends would tell you, give Hannah such a huge breadcrumb she’s not going to turn it down – but given her ego she must have thought *someone* would.

    Or is she really that dumb?

    I wonder if she saw my tweet listing her time. I wonder why she was so public in the previous race, and wanting “privacy” in this race while tweeting about it both before and after. Did she think the paparazzi would be flying in from around the globe if they knew she was running a 1/2 marathon in rural Tennessee?

    I think “privacy” means “I don’t know how well I’m going to do and unless I can brag about my finish position after the race I don’t want people to know my time.”

    Good call as she was nowhere near winning her age group.

    I mean, her time was decent for a hilly 13 mile run for a 46 year old woman but … I think she was second in her age group in her first run and of course she aspired to win her age group outright this time because after all she belongs in the pantheon in everything she does.

    She managed to praise herself nonetheless, by saying she did negative splits (which – um, first half uphill, second half downhill, hello?) … and beat her goal time (which must have been pretty modest) and passed some people at the end. Who exclaimed “No fair!” according to her.

    I mean, she finished over 2 hours …. I would think someone’s goal in a case like that would be to break 2 hours, it’s kind of a benchmark goal. Well, maybe she trained with someone who gave her a more realistic goal like a 10 minute mile (around a 2:11 time).

  • Hannah_955

    I have just been scolded on twitter by the Franklin Half Marathon people. Pity I’m recalcitrant:

    Hannah 955
    ‏Hannah_955
    Jun 8
    @ashleyjudd uses fake name for “privacy” then tweets photo of bib number! #franklinhalfmarathon #norocketscientist pic.twitter.com/c3CuLTejNb

    Run Franklin
    ‏@RunFranklin
    21h
    Hannah_955 thanks for pointing this out. We just moved her to the female division. And BTW please be nice. You must not be from Nashville.

    Hannah 955
    ‏@Hannah_955:disqus
    1m
    @RunFranklin What does ” you must not be from Nashville” mean? Sorry, can’t be nice about Ashley Judd, she’s just too snark-worthy. YMMV

  • Hannah_955

    Aaaand, since I’m putting off getting to work this morning, I scrolled through Run Franklin’s twitter feed.

    Ashley posted that she passed two guys at the end, who objected “That’s not fair.”

    Apparently this is a pretty small community because Run Franklin knew who they were:

    @AshleyJudd @rgowan that was @cblaylock and @dtrachy

    And one of them replied:

    Chris Blaylock
    ‏@cblaylock
    Jun 10
    @RunFranklin @AshleyJudd @rgowan @dtrachy I think we still won by time ;).

    I wonder what the official results of a race are based on – chip time or gun time? I would think gun time. The race starts when it starts. If you take 22 seconds to cross the start line, that’s on you. May be unavoidable, but it’s still on you. Otherwise, you might have two people cross the line a couple of seconds apart, and the person who crosses first loses to the person behind him? You can’t strategize (I’m talking top runners here) unless it’s based on where people are on the course (gun time) as opposed to the elapsed time on their chips which could be, as in the case of Ashley Judd and these two men, the difference between beating someone and not.

    OK, here’s an article about chip time vs gun time:

    http://www.runnersworld.com/races/chip-time-v-gun-time

    Ashley Judd
    chip time 2:05:18
    gun time 2:05:40

    Chris Blaylock
    chip time: 2:05:05
    gun time: 2:05:41

    Drew Trachey
    chip time: 2:05:07
    gun time: 2:05:43

  • Hannah_955

    The tweet-fest continues. I am always hopeful that I can recruit more people to mock Ashley Judd – extra points if they are actually from Tennessee:

    Hannah 955 Hannah_955
    @cblaylock @RunFranklin @dtrachy looks like gun time was used for overall placement, chip time in age groups. blaylock/trachy win on chip.

    [@cblaylock favorited the above tweet]

    Hannah 955 Hannah_955
    @RunFranklin What does “you must not be from Nashville” mean?
    Sorry, can’t be nice about Ashley Judd, she’s just too snark-worthy. YMMV

    Run Franklin
    ?@RunFranklin
    Hannah_955 We try to treat our “celebrities” with the same respect as anyone else in Nashville. “If you ain’t got nuthin’ good to say…”

    Hannah 955 Hannah_955
    @RunFranklin ah yes, I know that expression, it ends with “… come sit next to me.” Teddy Roosevelt’s daughter Alice said it. My kinda gal!

    Hannah 955 Hannah_955
    @RunFranklin AJ registered under her own name in a race last year; shockingly the paparazzi did not fly in to cover the event. Just sayin’…

  • Hannah_955

    Ooh, this is juicy. Not that I want to divert eyeballs from The Mock Dock but I’m sure Mock will give you a hall pass to check this out:

    http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2014/06/todays-blind-items-quick-and-dirty_12.html

    I lurk on this celebrity blind site from time to time. They post cryptic stories and people guess who the celebrities are. A few weeks, months or years later, they reveal the answer.

    So, today’s #3:

    “#3 – Matthew McConaughey called this former A list mostly movie actress from a famous family the worst girlfriend ever and is grateful he doesn’t have to speak to her any longer.”

    And… everybody is guessing Ashley Judd.

    But was she ever A list?

  • Hannah_955

    Ashley Judd’s race photos from the Franklin Half Marathon:

    http://www.capstonephotostore.com/athletedetails.php?flag_page=sr&p=1&bid_no=1069&imgnum=30752387

    Photo #7 may be the single most unattractive photo of Ashley Judd that I have ever seen.

    And wow – she literally does not have a waist. She just goes straight up. In fact I think her chest may be broader than her hips.

  • Hannah_955

    I feel like I’m talking to myself. So what else is new?

    Anyway she tweeted this today:

    “Intended to #run 10-12m, but what i had in my tank was 5.5m @ 8:30 pace. #running is a teacher: #humilty #respect #flexibligy #LettingGo”

    can somebody tell me what humilty and flexibligy are?

    and what the fuck she was trying to convey with this life lesson? Cuz I don’t get it.

  • Jay

    Hannah, we are here! I save comments for when not on my phone, it’s easier to type. I care about punctuation and spelling as opposed to some mostly movie, former A list stars who come from a famous family. Had to be bad if MM let that slip.

    You win the award for alert and astute today – Photo #7 is perhaps the most mockable shot we will ever see. Unfortunately untouchable. Her illiterate tweet? Merely to brag she can run an 8:30 pace. I’m not a runner but methinks if you want to go 12 miles, and you just ran a half at a 9:30 pace, you can’t pull your time in that much in less than a week. Duh.

  • Hannah_955

    Jay – hee!

    Any runner will tell you, you you need some recovery time after a long run. You don’t go out and nearly run the same distance again five days later.

    I think she was ashamed of her 1/2 marathon time so she wanted us to know she can run faster than that.

  • Hannah_955

    What a cool idea. Years ago I wanted to create an interactive web site where you could visit any city and program a running route for yourself, but GPS watches obviated the need for such a site. Anyway, one of my ideas was to have clickable “legs” of routes so that you could see a movie of the route you were going to run.

    They actually drove the course for the Franklin Half Marathon and made it into a sped-up youtube video. Very neat – and that’s some seriously pretty countryside there in Tennessee.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AA3T8tNvuKo

  • Hannah_955

    Dario was awarded the British MBE today! Ashley tweeted about it, saying that personally engraved “stationary” is coming. I am biting my fingers to keep from tweeting snark at her.

  • Hannah_955

    Couldn’t resist:

    ashley judd
    @AshleyJudd
    20h
    @dariofranchitti always Magical, Brave & Elegant, & now that other #MBE, too.Wonderful! Posh engraved stationary forthcoming! #QueensHonours

    Hannah 955
    @Hannah_955:disqus
    1m
    @AshleyJudd @dariofranchitti Engraved “stationary” – what? Stationary bike? Oh wait, do you mean personal letterhead? That’s stationery :-)

  • Jay

    Oh Hannah, you crack me up. Sometimes she fat fingers it but this one is clearly a mistake. Girl can’t spell.

  • Janet Lee

    Hannah, would you be able to post photo #7 from that website please? It just goes to a black page without images. I need to see that photo!

    Also, ugh on commenting on Dario’s MBE. I wonder if she will keep commenting even when he is in a relationship he announces about, and after he’s married.

  • Hannah_955

    @disqus_cqZLQ0zIg0:disqus Sorry about that. I realized after I posted it that you cannot get to her photos with a direct link. You have to go here:

    http://www.capstonephotostore.com/search.php?eventnum=1313

    Then search on her bib number which is 1069, and her photos will come up. Photo #7 is not listed as that though it is the seventh in the display, its actual number is RFFH14IJ01077.jpg.

    This is a commercial site whose purpose is to sell photographs to the participants, and they only leave them up for a couple of months, so eventually that will no longer work.

    I would post the photo here but it’s covered in their watermark and their site makes it very clear that they do not permit people to reproduce their work, even with the hideous watermark, and I don’t want to get Mock in trouble.

    So, look now or forever hold your piece!

    If you want to see other photos of her with her running buddies, you can also search on bib numbers 1075 and 1337.

    But yes, photo #7 makes her look old and haggard. But then, she had just run 13 miles in the heat and I would probably look a little the worse for wear at that moment as well!

  • Janet Lee

    Thanks Hannah, saw the photos.

  • Jay

    Some interesting tweets out there pertaining to CG. xx

  • Hannah_955

    Hmm, I confess I haven’t been following CG. I thought maybe she was out of the picture. But apparently she was at LeMans, as was Dario with Marino, and she wasn’t there for her racing-related job, and some people very close to Dario (as in FAMILY) were tweeting nice things to her. So it looks like she might still be dating Dario? Hard to tell.

  • Janet Lee

    http://www.wthr.com/story/25457689/2014/05/07/at-home-with-dario-franchitti

    So classy. Wish he didn’t get asked about AJ, of course he’s going to say nice things about her.

  • EllieUK

    http://t.co/zNJJNvI17g I just saw this linked on twitter. CG’s mannerisms really remind me of AJ. (Perhaps it’s just the US accent though). What do you think?

  • katia

    Agree! Perhaps the smugness?? Searching for the right word.

  • EllieUK

    What tweets (relating to CG) Jay?

  • katia

    On Twitter I noticed that CG was at LeMans, also was at Normandy Beach (so was Dario). Dario’s brother rode with him to France but got another ride back to UK. And there was a picture of Dario driving back home alone in the Porsche.

  • EllieUK

    Oh, she went to Normandy too? I don’t know either of them but feel Dario is falling in her trap, lol….. (Think I need to get a life!)

  • EllieUK

    Oh yes. She can’t help herself, can she?

  • katia

    I’m pretty sure I must have better things to do than worry about Dario! :) I think CG has her eye on a wonderful prize/meal ticket. I also can’t help but think she is behind unkind remarks directed at Jessica. I wonder if Dario’s mom is thinking “not again!”

  • katia

    Maybe she thinks she has a lot to be smug about!!

  • Hannah_955

    Well, now everybody knows who CG is thanks to posting that link! Way to be covert :-)

    Anyway, she’s not unattractive, though her mouth is weird, she says “so” too often but seems to know her stuff and is fairly well-spoken.

    J has alluded to her less-than-savory behavior … personally I know nothing about CG since she’s not really a public person, unlike Ashley Judd.

    But for Dario? No way. She’s too old to have his children anyway.

    And Marino’s son Luca is so freaking adorable … imagine what Dario’s kids would look like. And get this – Luca has blue eyes! Somewhere in the Franchitti gene pool is a recessive blue eye gene.

  • Jay

    Ellie, see Hannah’s reply from 5 days ago, that’s what I was referring to. Interesting video, she sounds like a smart gal. “So” is up there with “Uhm” and “You Know”. I HATE hearing interviews where half of the words are those annoying fillers. Once you are made aware, that’s all you hear.

    Btw, whilst out on YouTube, I happened to notice the new trailers for AJ’s latest. “The Identicals” looks like it will win many Rotten Tomatoes or go straight to video. “Dolphin 2″ will ride on the first movie’s success and Harsh Harry may draw some interest due to his recent stint on Idol. Our gal AJ looks like a smiling bit player at best. She must have had a lot of downtime waiting for her scenes to film. No wonder she was able to train for a half marathon.

  • Hannah_955

    Yo, so Ashley tweeted about a week ago that she was going camping in the Smoky Mountains. With some photos of her and Shug. Poor Buttermilk must be too frail to camp. And Shug is about 14 years old but she loaded her down with a backpack anyway.

    So, on May 22nd she posted some photos on instagram of herself on a previous trip, and one was with this woman whom I didn’t recognize.

    http://instagram.com/p/oVDVIxmD4h/#

    Then today she tweeted another photo of the same woman and identified her:

    Wildlife biologist and botanist Liz Domingue, leads hikes, teaches backcountry skills, and much, much more. http://www.justgetoutdoors.com

    instagram.com/p/pkuXURmD2K/

    So when Ashley “writes” a book she hires a ghostwriter. And when she goes backpacking she hires a guide.

    I was wondering how Ashley knew the names of all those flowers and ferns she posted from her camping trips. Now I get it – Liz tells her the names and Ashley posts them on twitter.

    Sheesh, I could sound like a real expert on Smoky Mountain flora too, if I traveled with a ghost-botanist like Ashley does!

  • Jay

    Hehe, I noticed that Hannah. So do you think she pays this woman to join her or they are best buds? Speaking of friends, check out her instagram dance party pics and comments…. ;)
    Also, could that be Mooma in the background with her oxfords???

  • Janet Lee

    No, actually, Ashley hired me to go along with her to her camping trip, solely to use me for my floral knowledge. Annoyingly asked me the proper names and Latin names for every flower she saw.

  • Hannah_955

    Well, the woman guides for a living. But then again, I’m sure Ashley thinks her 213K twitter followers are marketing gold, so she probably expects that if she gives a plug (for yoga pants, or wilderness guides, or tents) that she’s entitled to free stuff.

    Of course, Kim Kardashian has 21.8 MILLION followers, which makes *her* plugs roughly 102 time as valuable as Ashley’s. But Ashley has to make money off what she has, right? I mean, for someone who considers herself in the pantheon of Hollywood – despite all evidence to the contrary – making the rubber chicken circuit at $50K a pop must be quite humiliating, so I guess she figures she’s entitled to a free tent or some yoga pants. Or a guided tour of the Smoky Mountains. After all, if people pay to spend an hour in her company, shouldn’t it be a fabulous privilege to get to spend a week alone with her? Heck, maybe she charged the guide a fee!

  • Hannah_955

    I remember last year when Snooty Giggles, the rescue who saved Walter (the starved cockapoo who eventually died, Ashley took advantage of the situation to tweet lots of photos of herself soulfully cuddling Walter) … Snooty Giggles was up for a $100,000 award and Ashley Judd endorsed another charity, which DID win money – Snooty Giggles got nothing. Now she’s endorsing Snooty Giggles to win a year’s worth of dog food. Big of her.

    Hi Fellow Animal Lovers! Please vote for #SnootyGiggles so they may win free dog food for 1 year! https://www.facebook.com/DOGforDOG/app_303561899745219

    So I tweeted this:

    Hannah 955
    ‏@Hannah_955:disqus
    @AshleyJudd last year when #SnootyGiggles was up for $100K you endorsed another rescue; SG got zero. $100K would have saved a lot of Walters

  • Hannah_955

    Remember a couple of weeks ago I posted a celebrity blind that read like this:

    “#3 – Matthew McConaughey called this former A list mostly movie actress from a famous family the worst girlfriend ever and is grateful he doesn’t have to speak to her any longer.”

    Well, today they revealed who it was – tada! – it’s ASHLEY JUDD.

  • Hannah_955

    I love this photograph for two reasons:

    1) the puffy face

    2) the pit stains

  • Janet Lee

    Why is she still wearing her wedding ring? She is DIVORCED. It’s so petty of me to say that, but I’m in a bad mood right now, so I’m b!t**ing it out here.

  • Janet Lee

    Unless it’s an old photo. Anyway, I’m still going to pick on her. Very mature of me.

  • Hannah_955

    Sorry, I should have said it’s an old picture (from 2012). Couldn’t resist – unpleasant expression + puffy face + sweaty pits = Ashley Judd trifecta.

  • Mockarena

    Dario could do so so so so so so so so much better.

  • Hannah_955

    So, Ashley Judd picked up another $50K to $75K tonight to lecture a bunch of teachers. Because we all know she is an expert on education. Oh wait, she isn’t.

    I wonder if she opened her talk by saying she thinks it’s unconscionable to breed, then telling the thousands of teachers that in her opinion NONE OF THEIR STUDENTS SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN.

    Guessing not.

    No, apparently she talked about her own dark past and then she shared these gems which she trots out at every occasion, admiring herself for her insight (I swear she is the white Oprah – able to deliver banal platitudes as if they were pearls of wisdom):

    You are a human being not a human doing

    When you burnout it is a tragedy.

    What comes from the head goes over the head

    What comes from the heart goes into the heart

    Stop already! The brilliance is overwhelming. Why, it’s like looking directly at the sun.

    Did she talk about Kentucky? Probably not, she only does that when she’s thinking about running for the senate from a state she hasn’t lived in for 25 years.

    Did she talk about being raped three times? I don’t know. She usually saves that one for when she rehashes the stories she heard from third world orphans and prostitutes back in 2005 who apparently took one look at this B-list actress from thousands of miles away whom they had never seen and didn’t know who the hell she was, and decided THIS is the person they wanted to entrust with their “sacred narratives” on the rubber chicken circuit in America. Oh, and they told her they she could just keep the $50K she makes for an hour’s speech telling THEIR life stories, they don’t need the money. Which is more than they’ll make in a lifetime but really – you go ahead and keep all of it Ashley.

    Did she admonish the audience for not saying hello to her because she’s southern and in the south we have good manners and say hello to people when they greet us? Which – in the not-south where I grew up, it’s considered BAD MANNERS TO TELL PEOPLE THEY HAVE BAD MANNERS. And who ever says hello to a speaker up on a stage in front of thousands of people? The speaker’s greeting is considered pro forma. But maybe Ashley hasn’t gotten to the letter P in the dictionary yet.

    And yes, she actually fooled at least one person:

    http://djainslietech.com/2014/06/28/iste-2014-ashley-judd-keynote/

    I did see a 2-minute youtube video of her being introduced and about 2/3 of the people didn’t bother to clap and looked a bit bored. She raided the flower arrangement in her room and showed up with a bunch of them in her hair.

    Oh, and she told the crowd that relationships are more important than technology. Guess Dario didn’t get that memo.

  • Janet Lee

    Everything Hannah said.

    How was Ashley being MM’s bad girlfriend revealed? On the same website?

  • Hannah_955

    Yes, they post blinds, people comment (just like we comment on posts) then at some point in the future – days, weeks, months or years, depending on the blogger’s whim – he posts the blind again with the answer, and people comment on that. I happened to see the reveal.

  • Hannah_955

    Apparently some lady asked Dario to do a cartwheel with her on Mass Ave (which is either in Boston or Cambridge, depending). Not sure when this was, it was part of her “year of cartwheels.” I wish she had said more about whether Dario actually did one!

    http://www.jconline.com/story/life/2014/06/19/year-cartwheels/10837795/

  • Jay

    Hi Hannah! Kinda miss everyone here, glad to hear from you. Interesting lady, I bet he did it.
    I meant to ask you a few weeks ago – there was a guy in San Francisco hiding money and dropping hints. Did you play along/find any? Seems like it would be easy for you.
    Finally, based on AJ’s latest twitter remark, she’s headed for Singapore. Wonder what that’s about? It’s a long flight.

  • Hannah_955

    Hey Jay, holla! I miss you all too.

    It’s all over the news here – this guy @hiddencash is leaving cash in various locations and tweeting about it. I lost interest when I looked into it. Basically he tweeted locations where he had left money, and if you *happened* to be less than 50 feet away when he tweeted, and you out-sprinted somebody else, you might score some cash. One guy said he got to a location, looked for the money, didn’t see it, then somebody drove by and tossed an envelope through their car window. He had beaten the guy to the location apparently. I’m sure @hiddencash learned to hide the cash before tweeting, after that.

    So, zero skill, 100% luck, not interesting to me. Although, it looks like he is tweeting more clues and not just the locations, so that could be fun.

    It’s a great example of viral marketing although nobody knows if he’s actually got an agenda or is just a rich guy giving some money and fun to the little folk.

    I won a national contest once, big prize, thousands of people playing and I beat them all! I wish I could say more about it but then you’d know my real name :-)

    I guess Ashley’s going to Singapore for another whistle stop on her “Three Times a Victim of Rape” tour. Her asking for advice on routing = “I’m going to Singapore! Ask me why so I can talk about myself!”

  • Mockarena

    We have a Mass Ave here in Indy, so I”m wondering if she meant here?

  • Amy

    hannah: is this you???

    Adrian Jones15 hours ago

    @Jonathan Fowler She’s not a graduate of Harvard at all. That’s a fabrication that she encouraged on Twitter. She did the Owner/President Management extension program, which is not a degree program. It’s a program that costs $100K for 9 weeks of instruction, so it’s basically a money-maker for Harvard. Upon completion of the program, the clients are presented with a “Certificate of Completion.” They are not graduates of Harvard.

  • Hannah_955

    Amy, no that’s not me. I can’t tell from what you quoted but if that’s referring to Ashley Judd it’s inaccurate.

    I think I read somewhere that Tyra Banks is claiming to have a Harvard MBA – she was enrolled in a program that sounds a lot like what this Adrian Jones is talking about.

    OK, yup, I googled “Tyra Banks” + “Harvard” and indeed, that looks like a description of Tyra Banks. Maybe the person just got her and Ashley confused?

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/27/tyra-banks-a-harvard-busi_n_1834728.html

  • Amy

    No, it was about Tyra Banks — she wrote a ridiculous article about beauty in the future. One of her predictions was that due to global warming, there would be a food shortage, and curvy figures would once again be a sign of wealth and prosperity. Adrian Jones was responding to a defender of the “harvard educated” Banks. it sounded exactly like something you would right, except not as witty and articulate.

  • Hannah_955

    You know what I call this? Freaking passive-aggressive. Ashley Judd posts a link to a photo on her instagram page that she captions “Mom Time.” Could she have FOUND a worse photo of her mother?

  • Janet Lee

    You know what’s funny? It looks like Ashley’s head has been cut and pasted onto the photo.