Ashley Judd Still Hasn’t Found An Anti-Perspirant That Works For Her.

According to this, Ashley Judd is busying herself campaigning for Obama, and hilariously trying to gain support by whining that Romney’s campaign has more money.

She said, “We’re being outspent three to one, but we have heart.”

Awww. Poor, poor Ashley and the rest of the rich, elitist Hollywood celebrities throwing $40,000 per plate dinners for Obama. Doesn’t your heart just bleed for all of them?

I’ll spring for some deodorant for her, though. Anyone else want to chip in?

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  • Christi

    Obama’s initials ARE BO… hmm.

  • SunnyAZ

    I’ll chip in and throw in a paper bag to put over her head!

  • Olivia J. Snarkypants

    See, this is why I wear prescription anti-perspirent. (Did I spell that right?)

  • Kathy

    Ewwwww. But I guess if I had the unfortunate job of campaigning for Obama I’d be sweating, too.

    She’s just so gross.

  • Rachel

    I am absolutely flabbergasted that she is still on the “campaign trail” while her sister and brother in law are going through possibly the most trying time in their lives. More than her pit stains, that shows her character.

    Additionally, I find it hilarious that she says “we.” If she’s part of the Obama administration, I’m definitely voting for Romney.

  • Dirk The Imapailer

    Sadly, there isn’t enough deodorant in the universe to remove the stench of the average lie-beral.

    Buying Ashley deodorant would just be a waste. I think I’ll just make a donation to soon-to-be VP Ryan (and his running mate too) instead in Ashley’s honor!!!

  • Hatchetwoman

    Whine whine whine. Obama’s lack of money demonstrates he lost the big donors he had last time around (many of whom were Wall Streeters), AND the donors he retained don’t want to throw good money after bad. So his followers whine that his opponent is outspending them. There’s always someone else to blame when you’re Barack Obama.

    Ashley needs, at the very least, to stop the teapot pose when she’s got this problem. The teapot pit pose isn’t flattering.

  • Hannah955

    I’m surprised she shaves her armpits, she strikes me as the type not to.

    BTW my secret weapon is Mitchum roll-on, unscented. I thought I was the only one who knew about it until someone wrote in to this advice columnist at Tomato Nation, and she solicited suggestions from her readers, and a flood of women also wrote in suggesting Mitchum!

    Re: Assley, on the day that it was announced that her brother-in-law had lost his leg, she tweeted a photograph of herself in England grinning and hugging a lamppost. Two followers sent her sympathy (misguided, since she doesn’t give a rat’s Assley about her brother-in-law) and she tweeted back “thanks” to one of them. Today someone asked her about him and she said he is on the mend. Something tells me she is not in touch with Wynonna, since Wynonna sued Assley’s daddy.

    BTW she didn’t make as much hay out of being at Oxford Summer School as you might have expected, although hilariously at one point she responded to a follower’s question on twitter by saying she was doing “a bit of post-grad work in theology.”

    Um, just because you have a vanity graduate degree from Harvard doesn’t mean any studying you do from that point on is “post-grad work,” you pretentious twat. Sheesh, it was two weeks of seminars followed by a Certificate of Attendance! Anybody can go, you don’t even have to have a college degree.

    When she was in NC a few weeks ago rallying the troops, the Democratic party of NC made a pro-Obama video featuring her. So you get Assley Judd talking non-stop in the voiceover, followed by several hilarious scenes of her addressing a group of women at a breakfast meeting, and you can tell she basically never shuts up. Just yammering away as they sit there mesmerized. Gawd, she loves the sound of her own voice.!/search/%40ashleyjudd/slideshow/videos?

    BTW whuzzup with her left eye starting at 0:22?

    And somebody should tell her as you age, you’re supposed to wear less makeup, not more. Her fake eyelashes are so heavy they make her eyelids droop.

    And gawd, the same freaking talking points over and over again. She’s like some good little policy wonkette who has learned her lines and spouts them every chance she gets. Her favorites?

    – two thirds of Pell Grant recipients are women

    – Obama has created 1.3 million new jobs for women

    Even more irritating, she thinks she’s just BRILLIANT and she can tell people how to think about the election, and what matters to them.

  • Hannah955

    PS a random thing that creeps me out about Assley Judd is that in many photos I have seen of her, going back 20 years, she has this weird 1/2″ fringe of fuzzy hair around her hairline. At first I thought it was new hair growing in, but it can’t be that, can it? Because it’s ALWAYS THERE. You can see it in the photo on this thread. Whuzzup with that?

  • Violet

    Two things: first, Hannah, I think that weird fuzz halo is breakage. Secondly, I can’t believe nobody noticed the impending nip pinch from the mystery hand…

  • Amy

    Why is that guy grabbing her breast?

    p.s. Hannah, I think she didn’t go on about oxford because she knows we’re on to her. I have no doubt she reads this blog. When she answered “oxford” to some drone who asked her where she was studying this summer and the drone replied “impressive,” i replied to both of them that drone shouldn’t be too impressed because it was not for credit and that any idiot with cash could attend. Thank you for that brilliant detective work!

  • Amy

    Hi, Ash!

  • Hannah955

    Amy, you know maybe she does read this blog. I think I posted yesterday about how she basically ignored her brother-in-law Cactus Moser’s accident, and then didn’t tweet how he and Wynonna were asking for donations in his name to a charity for disabled war veterans. Today she tweeted about that very subject.

    I think the reason she didn’t tweet earlier was (well, aside from not giving a crap about Cactus) … she has not been in touch with Wynonna so she didn’t actually know what was going on. Then the media reported that Wynonna had gone back on tour, and mentioned the charity, and all of a sudden Assley is tweeting the link for that.

  • Hannah955

    PS Where are the “take me seriously” massive Democratic pearls? Or alternately, the outline of the African continent that she used to wear all the time.

    And of course, her third fashion accessory is her dog, Buttermilk, that she carries everywhere. Because he’s a service dog, and apparently doesn’t have legs, so she has to carry him cradled in her arms, on his back, so everybody can see her dog’s penis.

    I mean, I loved my dog with a deep passion and took her everywhere with me that I could, but if I were attending an important political meeting I wouldn’t stand around talking to fawning admirers with her upside down in my arms. It’s kind of – rude.

    Maybe when he dies she’ll have him stuffed and wear him as a muffler.

  • Amy

    Hannah, I so hope that she reads this blog. She is not even on the same intellectual planet as you, despite her fake Harvard degree, and I’m sure it would/does make her insane.

    Re Harvard, why does it cheapen itself like that? Money, I guess. I know a second-rate attorney who attended a third-teir law school, and then some pretend thing at Harvard. Her resume has the pretend Harvard thing at the top. Gag me. I doubt this chick could spell Harvard.

    Re Cactus — my theory about her not bringing it up is that she couldn’t stand to divert any attention away from herself to Wynonna. When it got too much to ignore, she became the concerned sister-in-law. Voila, it’s all about her.

  • Amy

    Speaking if not being able to spell , i meant “tier.”

  • Hannah955

    Amy, indeed. Harvard has cachet. She’s clinging to it to validate herself. Harvard has figured out that celebrities and successful business people will spend a bloody fortune to get a Harvard degree, so they made it easy. They set up a one year program (really 9 or 10 months) and then charge a bloody fortune for it, and accept 50% of the people who apply. Hands down it’s the easiest way to get a Harvard degree.

    And now she’s referring to Harvard as her alma mater. Not technically incorrect, but – pretentious.

    I think she’s trying to convince herself that she’s a top brain – and can’t quite do it, so she has to trot out the exterior symbols and point to those. Look, I addressed the UN! Look, my book was a best seller! Look, I went to Harvard! I must be special, right?

    My best friend years ago was a Harvard cum laude grad, Stanford MBA, captain of the Massachusetts state girls’ soccer team in high school, 5’10” gorgeous blonde, terrific athlete. I was the co-maid of honor at her wedding (her sister was the other maid of honor). My friend was just catnip to men, they drooled in her presence. She had it all.

    But the one thing she couldn’t do was ever admit when she was wrong. Or less than perfect. Heck, her younger sister who adored her, and who was also gorgeous, had a serious weight problem. They hadn’t seen each other in over a year, because A (my friend) lived in California and T (her sister) lived in Hawaii. Her sister told me that when she called up A and told her she had lost a lot of weight and was attracting a lot of men and going on dates, there was complete silence on the other end of the phone and then A said “Well, I don’t think I could let you be thinner than ME.”

    Eventually, that became a dealbreaker for me, and I cut A off.

    Assley has the same qualities, that she cannot admit the truth if it doesn’t flatter her. So, she can’t come out and say Missing was canceled, it’s always some near-truth like “It was only 10 episodes, one season, I’m on to other projects.” And she can’t admit that it wasn’t a mini-series and she doesn’t deserve an Emmy nomination, and the producers (cleverly) category shopped because she would never have been nominated in Missing’s true category – dramatic series.

    And of course, when Dario does well, he’s extraordinary and heroic. When he doesn’t, it’s someone else’s fault.

    I simply cannot STAND people like that. They are profoundly emotionally and intellectually dishonest.

    The only reason she gets away with it is that people in America adore celebrities, even washed-up B-list actresses.

    More evidence of the decline of our civilization!

  • Hannah955

    dang, mock should start a thread called “how many typos can Ashley Judd cram into one tweet?”

    And another thread called “Ashley Judd Lingo Bingo” – count the number of times she says important, extraordinary, special, salient, magnificent, heroic, yada yada. She has these words she uses all the time to hammer home how SERIOUS and IMPORTANT her issues are.

    ashley judd ‏@AshleyJudd

    @Charlottemakoff @Half Isn’t Half the Sky an extraordinary book? A fine example of expoliation & povety redeemed by resilance & opportunity

  • Amy

    Hannah, you are very wise in the ways of our Assley. I try to ignore her as much as I can, because she just infuriates me. I tell myself that she has a right to say what she wants, and I have no right to go to her twitter feed and then get all pissed off at her. I keep finding myself there. I have the same problem with the N.O.W. site.

  • Hannah955

    Amy, I agree that ignoring her is the best approach. Most of the time I do that, then the Mock Dock sucks me back in and I’m reminded all over again of how annoying she is.

    One thing that helps keep her annoyingness in perspective is to realize that to 99.9999999% of the people on this planet, she either doesn’t exist or doesn’t matter. And then there are the female high school dropouts from Tennessee and Kentucky who worship her 🙂