The worst facial hair in the universe.
Monthly Archive for July, 2012
I know I’ve said it before, somewhere in the archives, but holy CRAP do pictures like this piss me off.
There is NO WAY this guy has any business being a cop. This guy couldn’t outrun a snail. And you know why he still gets to be a cop? Unions. I blame unions.
I also blame the fact that even though you have to pass all sorts of physical fitness tests to BECOME A COP, you don’t have to do jacksh*t to STAY a cop. And that’s just flat wrong.
If you become a landbeast in a job that RELIES on physical fitness, then it should be a performance issue subject to progressive discipline policies.
Daisy and I had a photo shoot today to get up to date pictures so that we can redesign our site. Earlier in the week, I posted this photo of Pariah Carey on Daisy’s FB wall, and said, “Here’s a suggestion for how we should pose for all future promotional photos. Because of how natural it is. You know. (PS. I hate her.)”
I tagged the KoaP as well as today’s photographer on the photo, because I knew that they’d both appreciate it, what with them being professional photographers and whatnot.
This triggered several comments, which read in part as follows:
KoaP: Invisible bass! I want one!
Me: Best pose name EVER! This shall henceforth be known as the Invisible Bass Pose.
Friend: Would that be the fish or the guitar? Could make a world of difference.
KoaP: The fish. It’s the one that got away. Next time we shoot, you’ll know what I mean when I yell out INVISIBLE BASS!
Me: YES. And if you combine that with Botox Frozen Face, we can simply call the entire pose, “The Mariah.”
Daisy: I used to like orange.
So shortly after that, today’s photographer posted this on my wall.
I laughed SO HARD at this, particularly because today’s photographer said, “Somebody probably just photoshopped it out. I put it back so it would look normal.”
And then KoaP posted this on my wall:
And he said, “The bass makes the most sense because she’s on the beach and she probably just caught it. On the OTHER fishy hand, she IS in the music business so I think someone photoshopped out a proper axe. Probably the dress manufacturer... ”
Which just goes to show you that Daisy and I know the best photographers in the entire world.
Bob Ross, accidental Mock Dock mascot, has been autotuned.
I thought this day would never come.
Especially if I go to Target. I can go to Target with the singular mission of buying a tube of toothpaste, and walk out of that trap with like 6 giant bags of stuff I had no idea I couldn’t live without.
And it’s not even like you really realize it’s happening. I think Target has something in their circulation system that puts you in some sort of shopping trance, and the only way to break free is to spend at least $50 there. Because I will sometimes get home, and Mr. Mock will ask me, “Why did you buy that?” and I will just look at him, blankly, because I’ll have NO IDEA. Except that while I was IN Target, it was an item that I was positive our family couldn’t function without. Like a pair of Paul Frank monkey pajama pants.
So yeah. I totally relate to this picture.