Ashley Judd Has Apparently Crowned Herself Spokesperson For IndyCar Racing Now.

So Ashley Judd is currently in my city, lounging around in her jillion dollar motorcoach that she shares with her racing husband while he prepares for the Indy 500.  And she’s already busying herself with finding ways of being More Important Than She Actually Is at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

Today, she decided to lecture the race fans attending the track today via twitter:

I mean, seriously.  How is this even REMOTELY APPROPRIATE for her to say, when IMS PROVIDES the very passes to the pit area that she’s complaining people are in?

Someone awesome called her out on her attitude.

Naturally, she couldn’t let that go.

Riiiiiight.  Which is why IMS hands out all of those pit passes.  Hey Ashley – here’s a newsflash for you.  The Indy 500 has been running since 1911, which I SUSPECT was waaaaay before you were around to help police the pit area.  I have a feeling IMS would let you know if they required your pit policing expertise.  Which they don’t.

Another awesome person said this:

Wow.  Ashley sucks at sarcasm.

What an insufferable beast.

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  • Rachel

    Who is she to talk about “entitled ones”?

    Also, Ashley, there should be a comma after “belligerent” — it’s called the Oxford Comma, and it should appear after the second item in a series of three. I don’t understand how you missed that considering you know everything…

  • Buckeye Bob

    Dario would have a lot more fans if he would just dump the ignorant bitch!

  • twitterpated

    I love her, only because she provides so much good fodder for the mock dock. She’s too much.

  • el pato

    @ Rachel, you are my fav of the day!!

    love it!!

  • formerly jim

    People wandering through the pits are as bad as people who would take their fake service dogs anywhere they like! Right, Ash?

  • Bone

    I love how she starts a conversation just so she can work in a nasty insult to “the great unwashed” who inflict themselves on her by paying money to attend her husband’s stupid races. I wonder if she realizes how transparently moronic she is.

  • Hannah955

    Earlier this week she tweeted asking for some sweet old Indianapolis grandmother to volunteer to make her husband butterscotch pudding, or something like that. Guess she didn’t have any takers – she must be stunned that she offered this great honor and nobody snapped up the opportunity.

    She’d probably make them leave it at the gate so she wouldn’t actually have to meet them.

    I saw some video on youtube of her hanging out with the pit crew. Well, hanging out in the pit while two crew avoid looking at her until she realizes that somebody’s filming her and then she goes over to them and starts joking around and smiling at them so she can prove that she’s so egalitarian, she’ll actually mix with the help.

    Seriously, do wives hang out in the pit? Is her husband the most p-whipped guy in history?

    On her web site she has a media section and there’s an article from Allure in 2005 where she talks about how she schooled him sexually because he was 24 when they met and he had almost no sexual experience.

    I think Dario must be suffering from Stockholm syndrome!

    I read in her biography that when she came back from Africa, there was such a disconnect between her own world and the poor world she had left behind, that she couldn’t bring herself to use the DRYER in the huge bus that she and hubby use at IMS – though she still used the washer – so she draped the wet laundry all over chairs outside. Thereby curing famine in Africa.

  • Mockarena

    Hannah – you are SO AWESOME.

    And clearly you belong here. You are home, my friend. :)

  • burning eyeballs

    Ashley is another celebridiot that loves to bite the hand that feeds her.

  • Hatchetwoman

    Hannah … see if you can find Mock’s report on Ashley where Ashley came back from Africa and went through some sort of trauma because she had faucets. Or something. It’s worth the search, I promise.

  • Hannah955

    Hatchetwoman I would love to see that. Do you have a link?

    I love all her foot-in-mouth moments where she thinks she’s demonstrating exquisite sensitivity and she really comes off as just a massive narcissist. I notice she wear a necklace with a huge charm in the shape of Africa – I guess that’s so when she meets people who don’t know how she has reinvented herself as Mother Theresa Lite, they will “bite” and ask her what that is, and then she’ll get to lecture them about what a great humanitarian she is.

    Remember the scene in the book where some woman recognizes her in Africa and asks her if she’s on safari and she’s outraged … I can’t remember what she did or said but she finished the story by writing “I hope I ruined her day.”

    Well, you know she kinda WAS on safari. I mean, if you define safari as going to Africa to view the local fauna in their native habitat – that’s exactly what she did, only it was with humans and not four-legged animals. Not much diff, IMO.

    Mockarena, thanks for the kind words! I like people who call it like it is, and you sure do!

  • Mockarena

    Oooo – I’d forgotten all about that one, Hatchetwoman! Here you go, Hannah. Enjoy! http://www.themockdock.com/2008/10/07/update-on-dc/

  • formerly jim

    Mother Theresa Lite, maybe the best line EVER!

  • Hannah955

    Mockarena, thanks for the link. It had the added bonus of leading me to even more horrible mocks from the past.

    That link actually cemented it for me – Ashley Judd is INSANE.

    And by association, Dario Franchitti is INSANE.

    I played in a 12 hour puzzle hunt yesterday. One of my teammates flew out from Tennessee to play with us. After the game I asked him if he’d heard of her and he said yes, but nobody in Tennessee gives a rat’s ass about Ashley Judd, she’s just a hillbilly who puts on airs.

  • Reminiscent_of_Purple

    Loving Hannah. Assley is the most ridiculous person on the planet.

  • Hannah955

    Q: What’s another name for Africa?

    A: Ashley Judd’s favorite petting zoo.

  • burning eyeballs

    OMG! I want to put Hannah in my pocket and keep her!!!!

  • Hannah955

    She was tweeting up a storm yesterday and even posted one thing where she says “I’m officially bragging now” because she got to hang out with – AJ Foyt I think it was. Some old-timey racing legend. She’s “officially” bragging. As opposed to the other 99% of the time when she’s just BRAGGING?

    I notice she hasn’t posted anything in 14 hours. Wonder why? Oh wait, here ya go:

    http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20120519/SPORTS16/305190079/indianapolis-500

    Guess she is taking time to compose her next tweet where she spins THAT to be (a) somebody else’s fault and (b) all about her.

  • Mockarena

    Seriously, Hannah – I may have you start doing guest posts about Ashley for me. FOR REELZ.

  • Hannah955

    @Mock – hee!

  • Wiz of ID

    I can’t wait to see how she spins it when her husband drops her like a bad habit!

  • Hannah955

    Wiz of Id, You gotta wonder how he stands her brand of 24/7 crazy.

    I want to tell him: Run, Dario, Run! You still have time! You can go marry some sweet young thing and have babies. Because Ashley is just going to get crazier and meaner as she ages.

    And seriously – you see all these photos of her in the pit at the track. The pit crew must just hate her. Do drivers’ wives hang out in the pit all day? I don’t know much about car racing but I can’t imagine they do. And I’m not being sexist when I say that. I love that there are female drivers – but I don’t think their husbands belong in the pit either!

  • Hannah955

    PS Dario’s odds of winning the Indy 500 from position 16 are pretty poor. In the past 95 years only 14 winners have come from that far back.

  • Jinko

    Fascinating that Ashley is walking amongst us instead of being in a straight jacket behind locked doors where she belongs. She is an embarrassment to her poor husband when she trys to garner all the attention he deserves. I would lock her in the dungeon, and only let her out when no one is around. The woman is bonkers!

  • Hannah955

    The crowd booed her after he won – you could hear it on the TV coverage!

    During the race she found the time to tweet her “sympathy” to Marco Andretti for falling back, and for Will Power for crashing. She quoted him saying he didn’t understand the track. Then she tweeted a taunt to Tony Kanaan’ girlfriend.

    She was gloating even before the race was over!

    She had the bad taste to tweet a photo of herself drinking the winner’s milk. Then she tweeted a photo of herself in the winner’s post-race interview with Dick Vitale, I think it was.

    And she did the ugly cry.

    And her face is puffy. So are her arms.

  • Keith Carey

    I’ve lived in Indiana a long time, but never have I wanted to go to the Race. Maybe its the claustrophobia. Anyway, Twitter is a worse invention than the Pinto or the Pinto Bean Hot pocket. We all knew she was talented, but had issues. Dario must have been even nicer in private to put up with her. He wanted to say, “Get in da kitchen and whip me up a little boy. Here’s a fresh load my crazy wife. Ohh!”