Monthly Archive for September, 2011

Page 2 of 9

Someone Hates Opossums…

…or their neighbor. Or both.

I hate them too, but I hate them SO MUCH that I would never be able to duct tape one to a door, because it would require too much contact with it. But I did kind of giggle at this, after I was done being grossed out.

Question.

Is that a piercing?  Because eeew.

For a better look at what I’m referring to, jump in.

Continue reading ‘Question.’

Best. Picture Of Cheesecake. EVER.

I MEAN SERIOUSLY.  This is the best picture of a cheesecake ever.  Every restaurant who sells cheesecake should put this picture on their menu.

I just licked my laptop monitor.  I’m not kidding.

Holy CRAP.

WATCH this dude’s shirt. Someone at this press conference should have been, so they could have started fanning the guy or something.

DO THESE PEOPLE NOT HAVE AIR CONDITIONING?!?!?

Mock’s Tip O’ The Day

So this past Friday, I bought a set of fleece sheets for me and Mr. Mock.  This was at the suggestion of Bunny, who described them as follows:  “They’re like sleeping on kitten fur.  Kittens that have died and gone to heaven and had their fur made a million times softer by God, who then donated the soft fur to make sheets for us. That is what those sheets feel like.”

That’s a pretty solid recommendation, if you ask me.

Anyway, I was so excited to try them out that I washed them right when I got home Friday night, and put them on the bed right out of the dryer.  And I told Mr. Mock how excited I was to try them, which meant that it was pretty much guaranteed that he would make fun of them in some way to mess with me.

That night, as we slid into the glorious soft kitteny sheets, I said, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  Aren’t these the most glorious sheets EVER?”  And Mr. Mock replied, “It feels like I just crawled into a giant worn sock.”

I like Bunny’s description better.

Mr. Mock and I both slept super well in the cozy kitten sheets, and I loved them so much that I went to bed EARLY both Saturday and Sunday night.  That is how awesome they are – I just want to be IN THEM ALL THE TIME.

Anyway, if you are in the market for some new bedsheets, you should totally consider fleece, especially since God recycled dead kittens just for your comfort.

 

OF COURSE She’s A Teapot Poser

I should have known.

NO ONE STANDS THIS WAY IN LIFE.

And seriously – if those glasses were any bigger she could use them as a bra.

PS.  Here’s a recent tweet:

It appears that the god of her understanding believes that she’ll be helpful in Cannes at her tv series premiere next week.

GAWD.

Your Sunday Awesome AutoCorrect

HA!

Today – A Milestone Has Been Reached

My little monkey-man, Mini-Mock, has finally learned to tie his shoes:

No one ever really prepares you for how complicated it is to try and teach someone how to tie their shoes. It’s not like you can TELL them – you have to show them, and even when you show them, it’s complicated, because there are bunny ears and loops and there’s pushing through and pulling tight and whatnot. It’s actually very tricky. BUT HE FIGURED IT OUT, and he’s practiced all day, and now he’s a regular expert at it. Except for the tightening part. That he’s not so good at. BUT STILL.

It’s actually kind of bittersweet though, because he can COMPLETELY dress himself now, from head to toe, without any help from us. And that makes me proud, but also kinda sad, because he’s Growing Up. I can hardly even pick him up anymore, not so much because he’s too heavy, but because he has no patience for hanging out in my arms, when there are far more exciting places to be.

WEEEEPY GLEEEES.

Today’s Ashley Judd Tweet = Your Life Sucks And I Am Better Than You.

Ahh…the incredibly rough life of Ashley Judd.  HOWEVER WILL SHE CHOOSE?

Personally, I’d like to see her go full-on greasy ELF, like she did a few Oscars ago:

Or, perhaps she could make more of a color statement, as she did here:

Anyway, her tweet naturally brought out all of the people who fawn over her like minions, telling her how gorgeous she’d be no matter what she wore, blah blah blah.  Which was, of course, Ashley’s entire purpose for tweeting something that self-serving in the first place.  She may as well have just written, “Dear minions, you will never know what a struggle it is to have to choose a designer gown to attend Cannes.  Especially on fewer than 10 hours of sleep.  Please compliment me now.”

Maybe that would have exceeded the 140-character rule.

Daisy And Rat Altercations

I know it seems weird, but I rarely Actually See Daisy. We are best friends, and there is rarely a day that goes by when we don’t talk in SOME form – whether email, phone or IM, but we live an hour apart, and it’s just hard with our schedules to figure out times to SEE each other. It sucks, but it’s one of the reasons I love technology so much, because social media and IM and email and all of the rest of that makes it easier to stay connected. Tonight, our IM discussion was about rats. And it completely cracked me up.

Daisy (9/24/2011 8:04:48 PM): My stepdaughter and her boyfriend have RATS. Two of them. They were lab “rescues.”
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:05:03 PM): I was like, “Dude….we kill that crap in our house. They’re called RODENTS.” Sorry, but rats are nasty. She made Dandelion try to pet it, and I pulled my Mom card.
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:05:34 PM): I was all, “I don’t want my daughter touching those things….they bite, too. No way.”
Mock (9/24/2011 8:05:46 PM): Why can’t they just have fish or something that doesn’t require a person to actually be responsible?
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:06:08 PM): Listen…mice are actually somewhat cute. In a rodent way still, but cute. It’s the TAILS on rats – that’s what gets me. The tails completely wig me out.
Mock (9/24/2011 8:06:16 PM): I know – I love mice when you EXPECT to see them. It’s when you DON’T that they’re creepy.
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:06:26 PM): True. So so true. And after living in Chicago….
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:06:43 PM): Rats freak me.
Mock (9/24/2011 8:06:50 PM): It’s like birds. I love birds. But if one got in my house I would be UPSIDE DOWN.
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:07:02 PM): There was one rat – I KID YOU NOT – that literally stood in front of me on the sidewalk while I was walking home from the YMCA one night back to my house.
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:07:08 PM): He stood there….like a standoff.
Mock (9/24/2011 8:07:08 PM): HA HA HA HA HA HA
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:07:13 PM): He was big as a freaking chihuahua.
Mock (9/24/2011 8:07:17 PM): OMG I would have paid to see that.
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:07:21 PM): And he stood there like, “B*tch, I will cut you.”
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:07:26 PM): I CROSSED THE STREET.
Mock (9/24/2011 8:07:26 PM): HA HA HA HA HA HA
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:07:28 PM): I am not kidding.
Mock (9/24/2011 8:07:34 PM): I am LOL’ing so hard right now
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:07:41 PM): I went home and said to my roomie, “Holy crap…I just had a standoff with a rat, and the RAT WON.”
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:07:48 PM): She said, “welcome to Chicago.”
Mock (9/24/2011 8:07:51 PM): You could have just punted him with your stiletto boot.
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:08:06 PM): Honestly, I was afraid he knew taekwondo or something. No lie. They’re like dogs there.
Mock (9/24/2011 8:08:18 PM): I am totally mocking this.
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:08:26 PM): You should. It’s so true.
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:09:06 PM): It is an amusing story. WHEN YOU DIDN’T LIVE IT.
Mock (9/24/2011 8:09:08 PM): HA!
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:09:17 PM): Turtles to you = rats to me.
Mock (9/24/2011 8:09:20 PM): You had a Rat Altercation.
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:09:31 PM): It was a total rat altercation.
Mock (9/24/2011 8:10:50 PM): Off to go find an awesome rat pic!
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:10:54 PM): Ha ha ha ha!
Daisy (9/24/2011 8:10:56 PM): bye!
Mock (9/24/2011 8:10:57 PM): bye!

Related Posts with Thumbnails