Monthly Archive for April, 2011

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ATTENTION TOWNSPEOPLE: This Is What Discretion Looks Like

Now THAT’s how to breastfeed discreetly.

I think it goes without saying that Buckeye Bob sent me this photo.

ATTENTION TOWNSPEOPLE: This Is What Creativity And Laziness Look Like When They Are Combined.


Lawnmower-Powered Wheelchair – Watch more Funny Videos

LOVE.

I mean, you have to admit, it’s pretty resourceful. This person wanted a motorized wheelchair, dammit, and by golly, now they have one.

Your Tuesday Morning Giggle

Seriously. That’s totally what this is. Your Tuesday morning giggle.

I love baby laughs and dogs and bubbles. LOVE.

More Weeps

I have been, off and on, an emotional basketcase for the past few days.  Mostly because even though I don’t have a uterus, I do still have all the stupid hormones that make me an emotional basketcase for a few days every month.

Those days are now.

First I got the weeps over that Carrie Underwood video I put up a few posts down from this one.  And they weren’t just weeps.  They were full on sobs.  So I knew that I was hormonal, because normally that would just prompt some eye-welling, not full on sobs.

And then last night, after all the Easter festivities at my folks’ house, which was super fun, I could tell some sort of funk was invading my body.  It started with a mild headache, and then turned into a cough, and now that I’ve been to work all day, I have a big fat stupid April cold.  Thankfully, it’s not the kind that makes me congested, which I HATE MORE THAN ANYTHING, but it IS the kind that makes my chest all crackly, and my coughs are all hacky, and I’m just in general pretty miserable.

I crashed on the couch when I got home, and Mr. Mock and Mini came in from grocery shopping. I knew something was up right away.  Mini Mock had this uber serious face, and he looked kinda nervous, and he came up to me and said, “Mommy – I hurt Daddy’s feelings.”

And I said, “What did you do?”

And he said, “I wanted a matchbox car and Daddy said no and so I said Daddy was dumb.”

And I said, “Did you apologize?”

And he said, “Yes.”

And I said, “I’m pretty disappointed in you.  That’s a mean thing to say.  Daddy gets you nice toys all the time, doesn’t he?”

And he said, “Yeah.  I need to go potty.”

And so Mr. Mock came in looking TOTALLY DEJECTED, and basically told me the same story, only he said that Mini Mock only apologized with prompting and it didn’t sound all that sincere, and that they didn’t speak to each other during the trip home.

We chatted about that for a bit, and then I began to complain to Mr. Mock about all my various physical ailments, when all of a sudden, Mini Mock comes into the room and says, “I made a message.”

And you guys, what he made is after the jump.  Because if I see it every time I open The Mock Dock, it’ll just make me cry more, which will make me cough more.

Continue reading ‘More Weeps’

LOVE.

I want to be friends with all of these people.

Weeps.

I don’t know about you all, but I’m one of those total saps who cries at the sight of unbelievably gorgeous scenery, and at the sound of unbelievably fantastic music/musicians. Mr. Mock and I went to see Pavarotti a few years before he died, and I cried. I couldn’t help myself. It’s because when you hear a voice like that, or when you see a breathtaking view of a mountain or the ocean or something, that’s when you know there’s a God, and the power of that talent or that landscape just overwhelms your senses, and you cry.

Do you know what I mean?

Anyway, it happened again when I watched Carrie Underwood in this video. I am in awe of her voice, and of her gorgeousness. She is FLAWLESS.

Enjoy.

HAPPY EASTER! (Brought To You By Mini-Mock)

Also brought to you by Lightning McQueen PJ’s.

Hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday and that it’s not a gloomy, crappy, rainy day where you are like it is here.

HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!

Daisy – YOU NEED THIS BOOK

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me a link to a book that’s currently on pre-sale, which looks positively hilarious, and which I’d be getting Daisy for her birthday if not for the fact that it doesn’t come out until well AFTER her birthday later this year.

Daisy has not had the best of luck when it comes to the sleeping habits of Dandelion.  Dandelion has unfortunately inherited Daisy’s inability to nap during the day, and she’s also not particularly a fan of sleeping during the night, because I think she’s afraid she’s going to miss out on something.  She’s very busy, and she’s a take-charge sort of toddler, and sleep frankly just gets in the way of her social calendar.

Which is why when I saw the title of this book, I completely cracked up:

The description of the book is as follows: 

Go the F*ck To Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing off to dreamland. Honest, profane, and affectionate, Adam Mansbach’s verses and Ricardo Cortés’ illustrations perfectly capture the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night, and open up a conversation about parenting in the process. Beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny, Go the F*ck to Sleep is a perfect gift for parents new, old, or expectant. Here is a sample verse:

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the f*ck to sleep.

You probably should not read it to actual children, and if you do, he (the author) cannot be held legally responsible.

I love this.  Mr. Mock and I have been very very blessed with Mini-Mock, who announces each night practically like clockwork that it is time for him to go to sleep, and without fail, he simply goes to sleep.  He has always been like this.  Junior Mock, on the other hand, didn’t start sleeping through the night until he was about 8.  So we were sort of due for a really good sleeper.  Mini-Mock is so good that it wasn’t until just recently that he would even emerge from his room until someone fetched him.  Now he’s trained that if it’s a weekend, he can get up and go play as long as he tiptoes and plays with non-loud toys.   He’s SO GOOD.  And when we come out of our room on lazy Saturdays or Sundays, he’ll say, “I’m sorry if I woke you up,” even if he clearly didn’t wake us up.  I’m not even kidding.  He’s that good.

Anyway, I’m going to have to order a copy of this book simply because of how totally hilarious it is, and because I’ll be able to relate to it due to the eight years Junior Mock didn’t sleep.  🙂

Got Royal Wedding Plans?

You’ve probably heard that the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate is happening next weekend. And there are people out there who are just going batcrap crazy over it, and who would Actually Buy the refrigerator I showed you a few weeks back.

I don’t think Leroy is quite THAT into it, but into it she is, and she will be having girlfriends over Friday morning to watch the ceremony and fanfare and have cocktails and mimosas, etc. I’m planning on doing a stop-over because I’ll admit, I love this stuff. Not enough to buy a refrigerator or anything, but enough to enjoy mimosas with girls.

Daisy and I are also going to Agent J’s house Friday evening to watch it, too. Because Agent J is getting married herself soon, and so it’s the perfect pre-wedding activity to enjoy with girlfriends. PLUS, Daisy and I just found out that we get to BE IN AGENT J’s WEDDING, which we are totally overjoyed about. And an alert and astute mockdocker found me the perfect accessory for next Friday’s festivities:

I’m going to try and see if I can get Leroy and Daisy and Agent J to wear Royal Wedding Press-on Nails.  I think this is a reasonable request, seeing as how I’m not asking for them to buy the refrigerator.

I heart weddings.  🙂

More Unlikely Animal Companions

See this dog and goose?  That’s Baks and Buttons, and they are BEST PALS.  They live in Poland.

Baks was in an accident some time ago that left him completely blind.  And Buttons apparently decided that she wasn’t cool with her pal just sitting around doing nothing, so she started leading him around, by either hanging on to him with her neck or simply honking at him to tell him which way to go.

The animals’ owner says that “They’re inseparable now – they even chase the postman together.”

HOW MUCH does this give you the weepy glees?

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