Monthly Archive for December, 2010

Page 2 of 11

Keyboard Cat

Kittens are so awesome, because they can totally nap wherever they want.  Cats can too, but they’re not as cute about it.

Mr. Mock is also able to nap wherever he wants.  He’s one of those people who can totally fall into a deep sleep on an airplane, no matter what sort of landbeasts surround him and overflow onto him, and no matter how turbulent the ride.  He’s also able to fall asleep the MOMENT he gets into bed, which makes me insanely jealous and drives me crazy, because I am the lightest sleeper in the world and require TOTAL SILENCE to fall asleep, and if he falls asleep first then I end up listening to his breathing patterns and being too distracted to fall asleep myself.  Which is why I always wear those neon orange earplugs.

So you can imagine how sexy I am at bedtime.

Anyway, my point is that kittens on keyboards are cute.

Famous People Are Getting Married, Getting Pregnant, And Having Babies.

You’d think regular people had never done those things before, what with all the hoopla and fanfare and attention celebrities get for doing TOTALLY NORMAL REGULAR EVERYDAY THINGS and whatnot. But see, when celebrities do stuff, it is Big News.

So I feel an obligation to report to you the following:

1. Alanis Morrisette had a baby boy name Ever Imre on Christmas day.
2. Natalie Portman is engaged to and expecting a baby with some dude named Benjamin Millepied.
3. Leann Rimes is engaged to that dude she cheated on her first husband with.
4. Elton John and his partner have a new baby, courtesy of some surrogate mother.
5. Yes, Elton John is too old to have a new baby, and it’s a selfish, jerky thing to do.
6. Reese Witherspoon is engaged to some dude who is not Jake Gyllenhaal.

I know the delivery of that news is on the dull side, but that is the absolute most enthusiasm I can muster about any of it.

You know what I AM enthusiastic about? The Cee-Lo Green CD I bought last week. You guys, it is SO GOOD. You remember I told you how much I love that inappropriate song F*** You? I don’t MEAN to love it, but I do. And so I bought the whole CD and it is so so so so so so awesome. Here are the next two singles from it, and they are both completely appropriate:

I LOVE that song. And this one too:

And even though there’s no official video for it yet, this is Mr. Mock’s favorite:

So see? You HAVE TO HAVE THIS CD IMMEDIATELY. Go buy it. You won’t be sorry. 🙂

But my point is that a bunch of celebrities did normal-people stuff over the past couple weeks. FYI.

Two Things You Probably Weren’t Expecting To See Together Today

Beat-boxing and the flute. Or, as I like to call it, beat-fluting.

I think I would have enjoyed this more if the dude playing the beat-flute didn’t look so insane.

Forbidden Love

And in today’s news of animals who shouldn’t be together, I give you these critters.  Caught!

You know they were up to something sinister by the looks on their faces.  Plus, I don’t think raccoons are generally supposed to stand and carry stuff.

It’s awfully cute though.  Not as cute as the cutest thing I’ve ever posted though, which I think is this:

I could seriously watch that on a continuous loop every single day and never tire of it. EVER.

Landbeast Feast

Remember when I wrote about that chick from New Jersey who is TRYING to be the world’s fattest woman?

Well, I’d like to tell you what she had for Christmas dinner. Keep in mind – this is what she ate BY HERSELF:

*  Two 25lb turkeys
*  Two maple-glazed hams
*  Ten pounds of roasted potatoes
*  Five pounds of mashed potatoes
*  Five loaves of bread

*  Five pounds of  stuffing
*  Four pints of gravy
*  Four pints of cranberry sauce
*  Twenty pounds of vegetables  (you know, for HEALTH)
And that was just for dinner.  She had dessert after that.
She still has her website, on which you can watch videos of her eating, if you’re willing to pay for that sort of thing.  (Hi pervs!)
I know it’s a strong word, but I HATE this woman.  I loathe her for having kids and subjecting them to this horrific lifestyle and to what will obviously be the early death of their mother.  I detest her for what she will ultimately cost New Jersey taxpayers.  And mostly, I abhor her for TRYING to be this way.
PS.  Here she is with her boyfriend who she apparently met on line in a chatroom for overweight women.

Apparently, If You Smoke Japanese Winstons…

…you’re destined to wear really short jorts and lose all your body hair.

I’m just warning you.


I just feel bad for the tattoo artist, really.


What do you think their kids will look like?

(I’m putting the picture after the jump just because I feel like we should give them that added bit of privacy).

Continue reading ‘Question’

Best Videos – Year In Review

Ahhh – memories:

It’s been a hilarious year.

Wisdom Teeth And Motorsports

You wouldn’t ordinarily put those two things together, but this dude, getting his wisdom teeth out, totally does.

I love anesthesia.

Related Posts with Thumbnails