Monthly Archive for December, 2010

Buzz Lightyear Snuggie

Remember when I told you the story about how Mini-Mock wanted a snuggie? And I said no, because Snuggies are dumb?

Well, Mini-Mock’s grandma bought him a Buzz Lightyear snuggie for Christmas. And you guys, I CANNOT STOP USING IT. It’s completely awesome. I use it for Junior Mock because it’s a super easy way to keep his arms covered without putting huge amounts of clothes on him, and it fits over his wheelchair really easily. And I use it for myself, because even though the fabric is super thin, it’s inexplicably really toasty, and I am always cold.

I am officially a snuggie convert.

You know who doesn’t use the snuggie? Mini-Mock, because he’s far too busy and active all the time to want to be confined in a long blanket that you can wear. But he tried it on right when he got it, and looked precious in it:

I’m not nearly as cute in it, but I am REALLY WARM.

So there you have it.  I have product-tested the snuggie, and I am a fan.

Grocery Shopping And Old People

I don’t know if I’ve told you that I am one of those impossibly lucky women who gets to be married to an impossibly awesome husband. Mr. Mock handles all of the grocery shopping, and most of the cooking at our house. And he’s one of those super friendly grocery shoppers who makes friends with all of the grocery store employees, and talks sports with the baggers and chit chats with the meat counter people and just in general spreads sunshine at the grocery store whenever he goes. Mr. Mock is also a very efficient shopper. He can do a full week’s shop super fast, because he’s uber organized and has a process and doesn’t stray from it.

Today was sort of unusual, because Mr. Mock decided to make a super special New Year’s Eve dinner, and so he went to the grocery store specifically to pick up some steaks and a few other things. And when he got to the meat counter, there was a person or two ahead of him, and so he patiently waited for his turn. Except that what happened is that a whole bunch of old people kept cutting in front of him and acting as though he didn’t even exist. Now, you know I have a huge soft spot for old people. But I’m not a fan of MEAN old people who cut in line and are rude to you. And those were the kind of old people who kept cutting in front of Mr. Mock.

Mr. Mock was getting kind of irritated, but he didn’t say anything right away. And then finally, he caught the eye of the meat manager, who realized what was happening. And the meat manager said to the meat counter workers, “Hey – this young man has been waiting patiently for several minutes now, and you’ve let a bunch of people cut in front of him. You need to serve him next.”

And so those mean old people who had been cutting in front of Mr. Mock turned and glared at him, as if it was Mr. Mock who had done something wrong. And so you know what Mr. Mock said? He said back to the meat manager, “No no – that’s ok. These people can go right ahead. They don’t have much time left.”

And with that, the meat manager doubled over in laughter, the mean old people glared some more, and Mr. Mock finally got his steak. Right from the meat manager, even.

Normally, I wouldn’t condone saying mean things to old people. But these people were jerks. It just goes to show you, old people might be super cute, but they’re not always nice.

Cutest. Disagreeable Baby. EVER.

LOVE.

Product Watch: Get A Bigger Boobular Area!

This is all Asian and stuff, but you don’t need to understand it to realize that it’s the biggest bunch of crap ever. You’re not going to get bigger boobies by shaking them a lot, mechanically or otherwise.

But because I love our resident male mockdockers, I thought they’d appreciate the commercial anyway. Plus, I’m hoping at least one of them is grateful enough that they send me one of the cute animals from my Christmas list.

COINCIDENCE

This is kind of amazing, because I TOO am in Jeffrey Ben’s father’s will.  I guess I’ll have to split the money with this dude though.

The coincidence ends there, though, because my penis isn’t any bigger.

Freaky Mock And Daisy Brainsharing

I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but Daisy and I share a brain. I know there are lots of best friends out there who finish each other’s sentences and have a lot in common and stuff, but what I’m telling you is that we ACTUALLY SHARE A BRAIN. I know this, because sometimes we will think the exact same stuff at the exact same time and it will be the most random off-the-wall stuff ever. But we will SIMULTANEOUSLY THINK IT.

Today’s IM conversation was a perfect example. There we were, having a chat about Victoria Beckham and goats, and all of a sudden we thought of the exact same movie scene in the exact same movie at the exact same time, and then proceeded to freak out about the brainsharing. Let me set this up for you:

Daisy (12/30/2010 10:57:05 AM): We need to become ridiculously rich, and then I will build a fence on my property and then we’ll get matching fainting goats. They’ll be COTR mascots.
Mock (12/30/2010 10:57:15 AM): Oooo – and we can dye them pink
Daisy (12/30/2010 10:57:19 AM): TOTALLY
Mock (12/30/2010 10:57:23 AM): pink fainting COTR goats
Daisy (12/30/2010 10:57:25 AM): and name them after famous conservatives. Or, I’ll just name mine Jackie O, who was a Democrat, but she gets a get out of jail free card.
Mock (12/30/2010 10:57:44 AM): I can’t think of a better plan
Daisy (12/30/2010 10:57:54 AM): it shall be done.
Mock (12/30/2010 10:57:55 AM): Jackie O and Victoria B
Daisy (12/30/2010 10:57:58 AM): OMG YES. It is decidedly so.
Mock (12/30/2010 10:58:06 AM): YAY
Daisy (12/30/2010 10:58:20 AM): and if we’re dying them pink, I want mine to have little black feet with red soles, too. You know.
Mock (12/30/2010 10:58:25 AM): HA HA HA! YES
Daisy (12/30/2010 10:58:29 AM): ok. It’s a plan. let’s hurry up and make it happen. I wonder what Vicky B is doing right now.
Mock (12/30/2010 11:08:56 AM): Vicky B is totally getting a manicure. I FEEL it.
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:09:10 AM): She is. OMG. That is EXACTLY what I was thinking.
Mock (12/30/2010 11:09:14 AM): And she’s in bed. She has a manicurist who just comes and does her nails in bed.
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:09:25 AM): And I bet that two people are working on her hands. not one, but two. One for each hand. Because that’s how she rolls.
Mock (12/30/2010 11:09:27 AM): She’s probably not even awake yet, but people are busying themselves with her nails
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:09:43 AM): I wish people were busying themselves with my nails. And I’d like some mac and cheese fed to me, too.
Mock (12/30/2010 11:10:02 AM): me too. Only I’d like benihana’s rice instead of mac and cheese
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:10:20 AM): this is why we should be loaded.
Mock (12/30/2010 11:10:26 AM): we are so obviously meant to be rich
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:10:46 AM): we should be rich. I had a psychic tell me once that I was a Baroness in another life, I spoke 8 languages, and I liked to “party with the help”. Sounds about right.
Mock (12/30/2010 11:11:13 AM): that is SO YOU
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:11:16 AM): i know, right?

Ok. So this is where the brainsharing occurred. In the next moment, at precisely the same time, we typed this:

Mock (12/30/2010 11:11:31 AM): remember the movie Overboard with Goldie Hawn?
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:11:31 AM): I totally had a flash of Goldie Hawn in “Overboard” drinking with the boat crew just now.

DO YOU SEE THAT WE WROTE THAT AT THE EXACT SAME MOMENT? 11.11.31 AM, you guys. Simply because Daisy mentioned “partying with the help,” we both instantly thought of the same scene from the same movie. A movie, by the way, which is DECADES old and totally random.

After that, we just had our usual brainsharing freakout:

Mock (12/30/2010 11:11:35 AM): OMG OMG OMG OMG
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:11:36 AM): STOP IT. STOP STOP STOP
Mock: (12/30/2010 11.11.38 AM): HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:11:44 AM): jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus
Mock (12/30/2010 11:11:49 AM): that seriously could be the weirdest one ever
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:11:50 AM): brain share.
Mock (12/30/2010 11:11:50 AM): WOW
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:11:52 AM): i know.
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:11:58 AM): it was like within the same MILLISECOND. God.
Mock (12/30/2010 11:12:00 AM): I AM DYING with laughter over here.
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:12:03 AM): me too. We totally share a brain. It’s official.
Mock (12/30/2010 11:12:16 AM): holy holy holy crap
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:12:21 AM): and officially frightening.
Mock (12/30/2010 11:12:22 AM): that was so totally random
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:12:24 AM): yeah.
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:12:28 AM): Dennis Miller random.
Mock (12/30/2010 11:12:29 AM): I mean, that movie is like HUNDREDS OF YEARS OLD
Daisy (12/30/2010 11:12:32 AM): I KNOW

That kind of stuff happens to us all the time, but that one was probably the most random one ever.

LOVE. :)

This Is How Rumors Get Started

BEHOLD: The IM exchange I just had with Bunny.

Bunny: bobby farrell has died
Mock: who’s that
Bunny: isn’t he the don’t worry be happy guy?
Mock: no
Bunny: oh
Mock: that’s bobby mcferrin
Bunny: then never mind
Bunny: whatever
Mock: this is how rumors get started
Bunny: back to news of earthquakes

If you don’t live in Indiana, then you may not have heard that we had an earthquake this morning. It was a total NON-EVENT, because it was so quick and mild that I wasn’t even entirely sure it WAS an earthquake, until I got on Facebook and basically EVERYONE I KNOW announced that an earthquake had just happened.
That’s how you know you live in a fairly boring state.

But Bobby McFerrin is alive and well, so don’t worry.

(Be happy.)

Obviously, I Need Some Lion Cubs Now.

I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed, you guys. I thought I’d been pretty clear about all the cute animals I wanted for Christmas, and not a single one of you sent me a pink fainting goat or a monkeybat or anything. Where is the love?

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me the video clip above, and I think it goes without saying that for Valentine’s Day, I need a lion. Plus all the other things I have already told you about which you still haven’t sent me.

You’ve got 6 weeks, mockdockers. :)

I Think I Speak For Many Of Us When I Ask…

Why?

Best. Caption. EVER.

This totally gave me the glees.

You know what else gives me the glees?  Hilarious headlines.  Whenever I see one, I save it into a word file so that I can look back at it later and re-glee.  I did that today, with my collection of saved headlines, and I’d like to share a few with you.  I take no credit for them, but also have no idea who to credit.  I just think they’re hilarious.

Rod Blagojevich’s lawyers take a gamble by not putting him on the stand. If this doesn’t pan out there will be hell toupee.”

Boy fascinated with fish drowns in garden pond. Act of Cod suspected.”

“French politician Rachida Dati issues a public apology for confusing oral sex with inflation. What a cunning linguist.”

GLEES.

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