Monthly Archive for October, 2010

Not Content To Destroy Her Body…

…Tara Reid has started to surgically alter her face, too.  You’d think she’d have learned her lesson by now, but instead, she’s decided to try for the LaToya Jackson look.


We’re about to board the plane for home, mockdockers, which bums me out in a big way because we’ve had SO MUCH FUN, but I miss my boys and am excited to love on them.  Last night was Zumanity, which was positively excellent, but even though I smiled and beamed at the cast, and looked as receptive as I possibly could to public humiliation, we were not chosen to be humiliated.  The best I got was a strawberry from one of the giant almost-naked landbeast women during the pre-show.  Still – we loved the show and had a blast.

More tomorrow after things settle back down into normalcy.  🙂

Your Halloween Landbeast

I know it’s not officially till tomorrow, but I’m not sure how posty I can be tomorrow what with all of our sleeping in and brunching with friends who just happen to be in Vegas at the same time as us, and traveling back to Indy and whatnot.

So consider this my happiest of all halloween wishes for all of my mockdockers.  🙂  Y’all be good.


This totally gave me the glees.  🙂

Gross People At The Wynn Pool

Fremont street was SO FUN last night, you guys.  I loved it.  And you’ll be pleased to know that I killed Darth Vader, so, you know, we’re all safer now.

Today, we did a whole lot of lounging at the pool, and even though there were like 40,000 empty chairs around us, the most horrible couple decided to take the two IMMEDIATELY NEXT TO US, which meant that not only were we forced to endure their obnoxious chatter, but their cigarette smoke as well.  Jerks.

I hated them, because the male in the couple was this fat, obnoxious greasy man with a heavy Queens accent, who obviously had just recently picked up the female in the couple who was from Russia, markedly more attractive than him, and totally uninterested in anything he had to say.  And yet, he kept pestering her with questions and stories, all the while dripping Caesar sauce onto his own chest, regaling her with tales of his drunken adventures in the Hamptons, and just in general being one of those horrible men that you know is filthy rich simply because it’s all they can talk about, AND because they manage to hook up with women like the Russian chick, who clearly enjoy the money but hate everything else about the guy.  HATE.

I took a photo of them to show you – all stealthlike.  Note the Caesar sauce drip on his chest.

I love her swimsuit, and it would go really well with my leopard shoes.  But I DID NOT APPRECIATE her smoking when we were elbow to elbow and there were 40,000 other chairs there.

ANYWAY.  We went to the top of the Stratosphere after that, and watched all the crazy people ride the rides there, and then came back to do some napping, and now we’re trying to decide what to do for dinner.

It’s a rough life we’re leading here in Vegas.  🙂

Thursday Afternoon Heartthrob

This one provides some serious competition to last night’s doesn’t he?

You guys, I freaking love Vegas.  We are having an unspeakably good time so far.  Today we woke up at 10am Vegas time, had lunch, and then spent the next several hours poolside.  Naturally, we’re going to need another afternoon nap now to recover from that.  We’ve got reservations for dinner at some swank place tonight, and then I think we’ll check out Fremont St – as it’s something we’ve never done before here.  Any must-sees there that you guys know of?

Saturday night, we are seeing Zumanity – the adult Cirque du Soleil show.  I made reservations for it BEFORE reading the reviews on line, and figured if we were going to see a show, we were going to SEE A SHOW, and so I got us couch seating in the front row.  Non-refundable non exchangeable tickets.  It wasn’t until after I booked them that I began to read the reviews, which basically said if you’re in any of the first few rows, you’re going to be humiliated and pulled onto the stage and forced to participate in the show in unspeakable ways.  I find this completely hilarious and can’t wait, but Mr. Mock is a little apprehensive.  He plans to drink a LOT before the show.  🙂  Incidentally, I saw this dress window shopping in our hotel today.  Don’t you think it’s PRECISELY what I should wear to the show?

I forgot to show you this picture of a hilarious product we saw in the airport.  It’s called a “Magic Scarf” because it can be worn as a scarf OR A DRESS.  That totally gives me the glees.

I love Vegas. 🙂

Your Wednesday Night Heartthrob

He’s a beauty, isn’t he? 🙂

We just woke up from a glorious afternoon nap, and I had a nice soak in a super deep and awesome tub,  and we’re going to get dressed and go out to dinner and try to get used to the time difference here.

I love Vegas.  We had lunch at a little restaurant in the Venetian, and opera singers just sort of materialized in the middle of the mall, along with a dude on stilts and a jester, and they sang and stilted and jested while we ate.  Totally regular normal ordinary lunch in Vegas.

More later, mockdockers!

This Totally Gave Me The Glees

So I’m in Vegas, you guys.  We have checked into the Wynn, and they allowed us to check in at 10am which is precisely 5 hours early, and they upgraded us inexplicably to their newly renovated room, and it’s fantastically beautiful and the curtains work by remote and the bathroom is bigger than my living room at home and we are overlooking the Strip and are planning to have unspeakable fun.

We’re going to go eat some unspeakably good food for lunch and then do some exploring, but I’ll be back later to mock stuff for you.  Promise.

Meantime, let’s not love Lady Gaga together. 🙂

Sorry You Guys!

Hi all! Today’s been insane – just got back from state dinner and am leaving first thing in the am for Vegas, but because Mr. Mock is obsessively early to everything, we’ll be at the airport in plenty of time for me to mock something early tomorrow morning.

If you’re at all curious about state dinner, and would like to see a picture of me FACESMASHING THE GOVERNOR OF NEW JERSEY, by all means check out this link. Otherwise, I’ll check in with you tomorrow, and I’ll be all mocktastic for you then. 🙂

Thanks for your patience!

All You Can Do At This Point Is Just Pity The Dude

According to this, police found Charlie Sheen in a completely trashed hotel room naked and drunk. There was also a naked escort found screaming in a closet.

And they’re treating this like it’s Actual News. Hello, this is Charlie Sheen we’re talking about. This is like his standard Tuesday morning.

He wasn’t arrested, but instead taken to a hospital to detox and get a psych eval. And guess who took him there? Denise Richards, who apparently is way more of a masochist than I originally gave her credit for.

You know what she should do? Remarry him. That’d be a good idea.

Your Monday Night Lesson In Snookification

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this video.

You can blame her, for the amount of brain cells you’re about to lose by watching this. 🙂

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