The Ultimate Product Watch Post

You guys, settle in for this post because it’s going to be long. It’s mostly for girls, but if you’re a dude, and you’re interested in getting something amazing for a girl that you love, then pay attention.

So, have you ever looked at a celebrity or model in a magazine and thought to yourself, “Self – if only I had a personal stylist and professional photographer, I could look every bit as good as those people, because those people look like regular people when they’re just walking around not being famous celebrities or models?”

Well, I am here to tell you, if you’ve thought that about yourself, you are RIGHT.

Bunny came up with the most genius plan to surprise our respective husbands a couple of months ago. She said to me, “You know what we should do? We should get boudoir photo shots done.” And I was instantly intrigued, because I didn’t think that was the sort of thing a person could DO in Indianapolis, but we began our research and it turns out there are TONS of photographers who do these types of shoots. And I’m not talking sleazy stuff. I’m talking about tasteful, Victoria’s Secret type stuff. We went through lots of websites and browsed lots of photos, and then we came across a photographer whose stuff we loved. And so I pestered this photographer with email questions, one of which was, “So, do you have some sort of guarantee? Like – what if I hate my photos because I’m incapable of looking sultry and sensual?” And his response back to me was as follows:

If you hated your pictures I would be shocked, appalled, and depressed, because it would be the first time ever. Boudoir is my specialty and interestingly no matter who the client was — her age, size, etc, — they have ALL loved their photos. I cant imagine you would feel any different. To see the testimonials from my past clients, please visit and surf through my national website:

This is what I do and I take it very seriously. The female form to me is living breathing artwork, and its my job to celebrate it, capture it, memorialize it. So good are we at what we do, we are working with the Pink Ribbon Connection on a fund raising calendar for this breast cancer organization. Every one of our models is a cancer survivor, some with significant scarring. We have made each one of them, all the way to 79 years old look and feel beautiful, valued, and complete. So I have full confidence that we will do the same for you and am willing to guarantee your satisfaction.”

Now, I ask you, can you imagine a more perfect answer? Can you see why we booked immediately?

Let me just tell you what happens when you have your photo session (which, by the way, can be arranged in YOUR TOWN, wherever you happen to live, because Dario travels all over). You bring whatever you want to wear – like 5 or 6 changes if you want – and then you sit down to get fussed over by a professional make-up artist/hair stylist, for like a full hour. And she puts POUNDS AND POUNDS of make-up on you – more than you’d ever wear in Actual Life, but the exact right amount for being on camera. THIS IS THE SECRET, you guys.  This is why celebrities always look poreless and perfect.  And she does it expertly, because she’s a pro. She uses an actual airbrushing gun that literally sprays you with make-up, only it feels like nothing.  It feels like someone is just sort of blowing lightly on your face.  But what’s Actually Happening is that you’re being COVERED in make-up.  And then she fixes your hair so that it looks better than it ever has, and then throughout the shoot, she helps you by adjusting your hair and telling you how to pose so that you look super awesome, and she reapplies your lipstick, and just in general fusses over you like you are a total celebrity. It. Is. AWESOME.

And Dario is nothing short of a magician. He doesn’t just take pictures of you. He takes photos of you that are Actual Art.  It doesn’t matter if you know nothing about modeling or posing.  He has amazing creativity, and tons of ideas, and he just GETS what makes women look beautiful. And he’s not the least bit creepy. In fact, any modesty you might have walking in basically disappears after about a half hour. Plus, you get to see some of the photos throughout the day, which totally makes you feel amazing and gives you even more confidence. My shoot, scheduled to be 6 hours, turned out to be almost 9, because he’s not a clockwatcher. He gets into a zone, and he just loves the work so much, that he can keep going and going and going. It is SO FUN.

But none of that matters if the results aren’t good, right? Well, let me assure you, the results are AMAZING. Like – you will see your photos and you will NOT BELIEVE that it’s you. Only it is – it’s like the best version of you that can possibly be.

The best part for me, because I am impossibly impatient and always want instant gratification, is that I left the studio at 5.30pm, and had the link to my photos by 8pm. He is THAT FAST. And part of the deal is that for your favorite 5 photos, you get 5*7 prints of them, retouched. So if you’re unhappy with your hair or you want your legs to look skinnier or you want to have bigger boobs, he can totally do all that, and it looks amazing. But even better than that, is realizing how few of your photos you even need to retouch, because he is genius with lighting, and because the make-up is SO GOOD.

And if that isn’t enough, you get the high resolution images on a CD, in color and black and white, and they belong to YOU. He signs over the rights to all of the photos, and YOU own them. Like – you could sell them if you wanted, and you’d have every right to do that.  Because every last picture he takes of you is YOURS.

The downside? You’ll be sore the next day.  Posing, although you wouldn’t necessarily think so, is HARD.  You’re all contorted and convinced that you’re going to look ridiculous in the photos, but you end up looking fabulous.  It’s just that it’s painful.  🙂  This is just one of the very best things you can do for yourself, because it will make you feel amazing and it will give you confidence you never knew you could have. Bunny and I totally wish our mom would do it – because she would look SO HOT, and I know our dad would love it. I wish EVERYONE would do it, honestly. Because everyone needs to know that with the same tools at their disposal as celebrities and models, they can look just as amazing and magazine-cover-worthy.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking you want proof. I’m not going to post the full body/naughtier photos, because I’m shy. But here’s a couple that are totally safe for work, either because I’ve cropped them or because I was wearing stuff. 🙂

There are like 140 more photos, you guys.  And they’re all amazing.  I can’t even post the best ones because I’m shy, but you need to trust me on this.  Dario is THE KING OF ALL PHOTOGRAPHERS.  Honestly, I have no idea why he’s busying himself taking photos of people like me, when he SHOULD be taking photos of people like Angelina Jolie.

You really need to check him out, you guys.  And if you’re a chick, DO THIS for yourself.  It’ll be the best thing you’ve ever done.  And if you give the photos to your significant other?  It’ll be the best gift they’ve ever received. Based on Mr. Mock’s reaction, I can totally vouch for this. 😉 Don’t worry about flaws or cellulite or fat or ANYTHING – I swear to you that Dario will capture the most flattering pictures of you that have ever been taken, no matter what size or shape you are.  I SWEAR.  And if you want to ask me any questions about the shoot that you don’t want to put in the comments, feel free to email me.  Or ask here in the comments.  Whichever.

What are you waiting for? CONTACT DARIO TODAY!!!  And if you book using this special boudoir photo session discount, then you’ll get 25% off any of his packages.  If you are not in Washington, then give him a call and see what it will take to have him come to you!

DO IT.  You won’t regret it. 🙂

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  • WakeUp

    I’ve been wanting to do this for a while… it’s so tempting… and knowing that a good photog can capture just the right angle to make a mommy body look like it lives at the gym is awesome… and for the not so perfect angle there is always an editing program 😉

  • Buckeye Bob

    Making you look good wasn’t exactly a big accomplishment for him. All he needed was a camera. Now let’s see some of the other photos.

  • Mockarena

    That’s very sweet, Bob, but it took a LOT of good lighting and makeup and magic to make me look like that.

    But the point is, IT CAN BE DONE. There will never ever be a magazine cover that makes me feel inadequate again. Ever. 🙂

    @WakeUp – if you’ve been tempted, DO IT. You won’t regret it. Dario is amazing!

  • WakeUp

    I actually have a photog friend who does this kind of thing… He’ll do it for free… it’s just getting over the nerves first :p

  • Johnny C.

    Mock, you always look hot, just a little more so in these pics. Buckeye Bob is right, you need to share more!

  • burning eyeballs


    I agree…post a few more.

  • WakeUp

    Yep… more, more, more!

  • Buckeye Bob

    And another thing! We need to see some representative samples of Bunny’s. I’m sure they look just as good.

  • Mockarena

    Bunny’s are amazing. Totally gorgeous. But it’s up to her to share those, not me! 🙂

  • Punky

    Wow! You look fabulouser than ever! I’ve never had the nerve to do it, but maybe I’ll reconsider if I get to actually look hot in a picture!

  • sunnyAZ


  • Francisco Dreadful

    Whoah!… Mockarena, those photos are absolutely amazing, you look gorgeous. And the last one… grrrrr! SEXAAAI <3

    I almost became straight and everything 😀

  • Mockarena

    Punky – I PROMISE you that you would be thrilled with the results. I double triple promise even.

    Thanks to all for the compliments!

    And Francisco, I’ve been WAITING for a gay man’s opinion. If a sassy gay friend says the pics are good, then that is as solid of a confirmation as I could ever want. 😀

  • Punky

    Francisco – I love you! You made me giggle so much! I also like the 3rd one the most.

  • R

    My husband walked by at juuuuust the right time to see the pictures. “Who’s that?” he asked, slowing down to get a good look. “If she’s modeling for UGA, their enrollment is going to skyrocket. Oh, um, unless YOU model instead, honey.” So not only is there more proof that you look gorgeous, my husband feels so bad about noticing another woman that we’ll be ordering pizza for supper instead of me having to cook in this heatwave. Yay! Thanks, Mock!

  • Mockarena

    HA HA HA HA HA HA!! That made me giggle SO MUCH, R! 🙂

    Who knew I’d help get someone out of chores with this post? YAY!

  • http://http// Zachary

    Mockarena, just know that I totally envy you for getting to model with a giant fan. I’ve ALWAYS wanted to have a giant Beyonce-style fan blowing on me while someone takes pictures.

  • Mockarena

    Zach – Dario’s shot plenty of male models. Give him a shout, and he will surround you with fans. You’ll be fan-tastic. 🙂

  • Buckeye Bob

    Bunny…….We’re waiting!!! Time to reveal your beautiful self.

  • King Of All Photographers

    King Of All Photographers strikes again! ;^D

    Buckeye, you CAN actually see a very pretty pic of Bunny on my website. She’s wearing a cowboy hat. Enjoy… ;^)

  • Mikey

    Well, I now see an easy way for you and Daisy to finance the CPAC 2011 trip: Subscription photo website (HOTR: Hotties On The Right) and a COTR Founder’s Calendar ; )

  • Mockarena

    Mikey – I’m hoping Daisy will be taking advantage of Dario’s services as well. We totally need to do our official headshots with him!

  • Buckeye Bob

    I don’t think so King. Thanks but no thanks. First bunny wouldn’t do that and I’m not that stupid.

  • King Of All Photographers

    But you said you wanted to see some of her work?

  • Mockarena

    BB – he’s not making it up. Bunny and I did this caper together! The picture he posted here is obviously not Bunny, but she IS on his website. You just need to look! 🙂

  • Bunny

    I second everything Mock said. Dario is AMAZING!!!! Best money I ever spent. BB….look for the hat. Yeeeeeehah!

    Ladies, DO IT. You will be 100% thrilled!

  • Bunny

    Should clarify about that cowboy hat…I’m the blonde, not the brunette! 🙂

  • King Of All Photographers

    Oh yeah, ha. I guess the cowboy hat theme has been done a couple times. 😉

  • Buckeye Bob

    @ King Of All Photographers.
    I apologize. The name I had heard did not seem related to the site you listed so I thought you were just trying to get people to your site. I was not aware you were the photographer. Great work and and of course we all knew Bunny was going to be smoking hot also.

  • King Of All Photographers

    No worries. Thanx for the thumbs up. 🙂

  • Reader J

    You look incredible! Very cool….So excited that you did this.

  • JanetEl

    You are SUCH a tease! You know that I already have a girl crush on you. Now I can’t concentrate, after seeing these photos!