Troy Polamalu’s Hair Is Ridiculous

Come on, you guys. This really is absurd. According to this, Troy’s hair has now been insured for a million dollars. By Head and Shoulders.

If you’re a football player, and you’re playing against Troy, I totally don’t blame you for grabbing onto this giant pile of hair and pulling down as hard as you can.ย  Because I totally would, if I were a football player.

This is like Twisted Sister and Diana Ross hair fused together and then multiplied by a factor of a billion.


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  • WakeUp

    I think that’s the most hair I have seen on one head EVER! I wonder how many wigs Locks of Love could make with that mane.

  • Janice

    Uh oh. Pittsburgher here. Rabid Steeler fan alert. My 2 year old has a terrible toddler towel, and both kids have Polamalu jerseys.

    Well, let me tell you why you’ll want to completely “facemash” Troy –

    He is madly in love with his wife, Theodora – MADLY in love. He converted to Christianity, Eastern Orhtodox to join his wife in her faith. He prays before every play, and after every play. He even went on a Christian pilgrimage to Greece and Turkey. He openly talks about how his spirituality has changed his life for the better. He’s gently, kind, sofspoken – he doesn’t take many interviews but NEVER passes up kids who want autographs. He doesn’t watch TV, and he does tons of charity work.

    Here’s the facemash worthiness – There’s this little girl in PGH with cancer. She’s dying. For months he was visiting with her – they’d play xbox (I think it was XBox) in her hospital room, and just totally hang out and chat. He never brought press to this, and no one knew until her family leaked it.

    The hair is part of his Samoan roots (no pun intended) – the men of that culture wear their hair long. And, unfortunately, someone has already grabbed his hair and pulled him to the ground with it – Polamalu looked poised for a touchdown return when KC Chiefs RB Larry Johnson pulled him down by his hair in order to tackle him.

    He is nothing like the most of the footballers out there – he’s just a gently giant of sorts – I completely love Troy, and I think he’s aces.

    So there’s my rant. Rant over. Hope I sold you on why Troy completely rocks.

    Oh, forgot to mention he’s the most kick a** safety in the NFL.

    Ok, now I am done. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Mock – check this out, and I dare you to read to the end without crying. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Wiz of ID

    I have to admit, when I see him play, I always say “Eeewww, gross” and “cut your hair!” But I think his Head & Shoulders commercials are hilarious.
    I could care less about him either way personally. I know Mr. Wiz likes to get him on his Fantasy team. However, after Janice’s story, I do want to hug him a bit. It is nice to hear about the NFL’ers doing good instead of being pompus self-entitled jerks. Thanks Janice!

  • Buckeye Bob

    First, I don’t like Pittsburgh but I have to give him credit. He is a great player and from all I’ve heard, pretty much like Janice described him as a person.
    Now with that said, I still think it looks absolutely ridiculous and don’t blame any football player for using it against him.

  • Mikey

    Suggested Mock response*: Ok, that hair is scary, but sounds like Troy has many redeeming qualities. -But, he is only the second most kick ass safety in the NFL as the Colt’s Bob Sanders is #1.

    * only because there is a football element to this, and Mr. Mock may not be available for consultation.

  • Punky

    I love his Head and Shoulders commercial too! I’m a HUGE Steelers fan (steelworker’s kid – ’nuff said), and no matter how you feel about the Steelers, the man is a fantastic player. Now that said, I think if you have long hair exposed during a game, it’s fair play to yank on that b*tch to bring ya down! I’m a girl, and girls fight to win, and we fight dirty. Men fight for show. And you have to give the guy credit – it’s not stringy or unhealthy looking! Janice, I want to facesmash him too!

  • Mockarena

    He is absolutely the most precious person EVER and I would totally facesmash him.

    But I still want him to get a haircut. And I still think he looks ridiculous.

    And Bob Sanders is still the most kickass safety. ๐Ÿ˜‰ <–I don't even know what that means!

  • april

    I am a Giants’ fan, however, Troy is one of my favorite football players because of his ridiculous hair. The first time I saw him play, I said “wow! he has ridiculous hair… he is now one of my favs”. I actually drafted him on my fantasy team this year because he is a pretty kickass safety (although I do like Kenny Phillips and Michael Johnson). It sucks that people have grabbed onto his hair, but league rules say that hair hanging outside the helmet is considered part of the uniform and is up for grabs.

    it is so nice to hear when celebrities use their fame for good and don’t expect anything in return.

  • zippy

    Note to self: Never eat at a Samoan restaurant.

  • Dani

    I’m not a Steelers fan, but I have always heard wonderful things about Troy Polamalu. I do agree that his hair is ridiculous, but those commercials are hilarious! It’s also nice to see athletes doing great things behind the scenes and not seeking publicity for it. That was a great article, and it definitely made me want to facesmash him. You know who else is an awesome human being and football player? Tony Richardson. I wish more athletes would follow in their footsteps.

    On a somewhat related note, Troy and I share a bithday. He’s exactly 1 year older than me ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Anonymous

    I played football and don’t know how he gets his head in those Marrietta or Rydell hemluts. I can tell you what though, that hair I am sure gives him extra padding when he is knocking some RB out of his cleats!…Steeler nation baby!

  • burning eyeballs

    Janice said it all…but I am a Steelers fan as well!

  • Reminiscent_of_Purple

    Shock and Awe.

  • LC808

    This is a photoshopped picture. Do a Google image search for his name. His hair isn’t even close to this huge!