The Top Five Most Annoying Facebook Status Updates

You guys know I’m a fan of Facebook,  because it’s a super easy way to update your friends and family about the latest goings-on, and see what the latest goings-on are with them, and it’s a way to do that without requiring a whole bunch of separate conversations with those people.

But there are things that drive me totally insane about certain status updates, and I’d like to share those with you today.  Please feel free to add to this list.

1.  DO NOT update your status with every single solitary mundane activity you happen to partake in during the day.  There is nothing more annoying than updates which say nothing but, “I’m ready to start the day!” or “I just folded laundry!” or “I’m about to go to the store!”  or “I am ready for the weekend!”   Those are not interesting enough items to post in a status update.  I promise. They’re just not. You might as well announce that you’ve just inhaled, and plan next to exhale.

2.  DO NOT incessantly talk about your exercise habits.  If you’re on a new exercise kick, that’s fabulous for you.  But realize that there are plenty of us who work out, quietly, minding our own business, and we simply aren’t interested in your constant updates about how great it is to work out.  Talking about it EVERY SINGLE DAY is annoying as hell, and you should stop it.   Examples:  “Whoo hoo! About to workout!” or “PX90 is awesome and you should totally call me so I can get you started on it!” or “I sure am tired after that 10 mile run!” etc.  Seriously.  Stop it.

3.  DO NOT use vague, I’m-trying-to-get-attention-so-I’m-going-to-attempt-to-beg-questions status updates.  Examples:  “Wow. Didn’t see that coming” or “OMG I can’t believe that.”  Stop it.  Just say what you didn’t see coming or say what you can’t believe.  GAWD.

4.  DO NOT fall prey to the status update fads like that completely stupid one that was going around a couple months back where everyone insisted on putting the color of their bras as their status update like it was a huge caper and secret from boys.  That was annoying and stupid.  Same goes for the ones that say something like, “If you want to find a cure for breast cancer you should update your status to say _____!!!”  You know what?  I DO want to find a cure for breast cancer, but I don’t feel like saying _____.   So stop trying to guilt me into changing my status update.

5.  Any and all status updates related to Mafia Wars, Farmville, or other such Facebook games are stupid and annoying, and I hide them all from my newsfeed.  For the sake of any friends you might have who aren’t savvy enough to know how to hide them, STOP HAVING THEM SHOW UP IN NEWSFEEDS.  I defy you to find a single person who wants to know that you need a sheep, or an energy pak, and  I defy you to find a single person who cares that you just found a secret stash of Arkles.

For those of you who practice any one of these five things, I’m sorry if this offends you.  You know I still like you.   🙂

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  • The Captain…

    I concur…Facebook has become almost as annoying as this…

    http://www.themockdock.com/2010/07/20/this-is-why-i-love-daisy/comment-page-1/#comment-38056

  • AmericanBridgetJones

    What about the people constantly talking about their kids teething, potty training, etc.? Or the people who are about to get married or just got married? All of that gooey hooplah. Ew.

  • Mockarena

    I actually don’t mind wedding and baby stuff, because that is the real life stuff you’d talk about with those people anyway. But farmville and mafia wars? THAT IS NOT REAL LIFE.

  • AmericanBridgetJones

    Okay, I’ll be more specific–posting pictures of your child with poo smeared all over her face is not okay. It is gross.

    When you (Mockarena) post about your kids, you keep it funny/touching-and you don’t do it constantly. I don’t mind seeing pics of friends’ kids or hearing about funny things they did. I just don’t need the play by play of their potty training plan, you know?

    And I couldn’t agree more about the Farmville and Mafia Wars.

    With the wedding stuff, my friends post: 100 days until the wedding, 99 days until the wedding, 98 days until the wedding! You get the picture. 🙂

    What about the people who simply post … as their status?

  • mikey

    Does even “real life” minutae need to be broadcast? Facebook and Twitter have become some form of electronic life run amok for many people.

  • Gail

    I completely agree with every single one of these items. My most hated one is #3. I absolutely, unequivocally refuse to ask any questions about a status update like that and I immediately block that person from my newsfeed altogether. If you are such a lame ass as to have to seek attention with that gimmick, I no longer need to know anything about you.

    And I did play Farmville quite a bit but I tried to never have any of that crap posted on my profile because it really is annoying.

  • sunnyAZ

    HIGH FIVE, Mock!

  • Mockarena

    OMG YES – now I’m with you AmericanBridgetJones. Now, I am TOTALLY with you.

  • Rachel

    I love Facebook as well, but it has become a really big magnifying glass over how illiterate the country really is. Maybe it’s because I’m an English teacher, maybe it’s because I’m just obsessive, but either way — I am so tired of reading misspelled and grammatically incorrect status updates.
    How hard is it — really — to figure out the difference between there/their/they’re, your/you’re, to/too/two, rap/wrap, et cetera?

  • Mockarena

    Oooo – good one, Rachel!!! Your so right. <-- See what I did there?

  • sunnyAZ

    No, should be good won………..haha!

  • Kitsa

    I took a FB stand against throw-up near the holidays. It was sooo liberating! I told everyone that details of their kids throw-up is not interesting to anyone but themselves and that I would block or drop anyone ever talking about it again. Also told them that while they were at it, the same rules apply for diapers. I told them that everyone is thinking it, but I am going to say it. It was seriously becoming out of control among the mommies. I received an huge amount of “likes” and noticed that 5 friends dropped me. It was totally worth it and I would do the same thing today.

    Also you should add to your list: “join my cause and get 10 of your friends to join it” (so, there is a FB list of people-what good does that do), “come to my open house where I will be selling you crap”, and “I am a stay at home parent who needs to do the laundry today, but I think I will torture all the working people by posting that I am too lazy to do the laundry and so I am going to take my 5th nap of the day, and I’ll post it like it is a chore”.

    End of Soapbox.

    Kits

  • jeansandtshirtschick

    RIGHT ON!

  • Lori

    The exercise one drives me nuts. Just ran 40 miles to practice for my triathlon in Antarctica!!!!

    Kind of bursts my bubble after I just posted, “Walked to the mailbox. Got my exercise in for the day”

  • Brad

    6. Do not vaguely refer to the person you have a crush on. Stuff like, “I miss him..” or “I’m missing her” “Wish she would call or text me” and so on. This only proves that you’re a gutless wuss who’s greatest fear in life is rejection. If you feel romantically inclined towards said other person, get off Facebook and take him/her out on an actual date…they most likely will say yes.

  • ddkaywms

    Rachel, I agree with you 100%!

  • cowgirlv

    Am I the only one who isn’t on Facebook because I like my privacy? I would much prefer to sneak around and lurk in cyberspace…

  • shannon

    Another pet peeve is people (women, I mean) that only talk about their kids. That bores me. I want to know about all aspects of their lives, not just that they’ve lost themselves to motherhood and don’t have an identity anymore. I find women can get very one dimensional on FB and it is sad.

    Then I find the people that post something every 30 minutes. They are the fame whores of FB, seeking attention and think they need to share every thought they have.

    Rants over.

  • Dani

    Rachel – Maybe it’s the teacher in me, but the grammar thing drives me nuts too!! I don’t want to be a snob about it, but come on! It’s not difficult to figure out which their/they’re/there you are supposed to use…they are NOT interchangeable!!

  • Buckeye Bob

    Like these?
    [img]http://www.themockdock.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/facebook.JPG[/img]

  • Buckeye Bob

    Sorry, the above image shrank too much to read.

    Status Update read: Woke up this morning to find a bunch of fu##ing farmville and B.S. updates on here and it pissed me right off. Ruined my whole freaking day. Thanks a-holes.

  • Bunnee

    Rachel and Dani, you guys do know there’s a Facebook page about correct grammar and word usage, right? I liked it a lot. But I also agree with everything that everyone said. Sometimes, it’s just too much effort to keep up with all the B.S. on F.B.

  • Agreed

    To add to number 3: People whose emotions change about three hundred times a day and are all described vaguely. “Having a hard time right now.” 30 min later: “Proud of who I am.” 30 min later: “Wish I could take all that back.” 30 min later: “I am good with things.”

    It’s like a ride down a schizophrenic path. Makes me crazy.

  • KT

    I know I will catch it on this but….I feel it is different strokes for different folks. You can hide posts from all of the games ect. without hiding the people. If someone wants to talk about whatever then it is their wall to do so. Freedom of speech. You don’t have to read it. I’m sure I drive people crazy with my politics and many are reposts from COTR. LOL

  • mikey

    Bob, I don’t know which is worse, Farmville updates or someone who let’s Farmville updates ruin their “whole freaking day”…

  • Nancy

    Yay! I don’t bug you!

  • Rachel

    Bob — I love all the Farmville requests on the right side of the page!!! LOL!

  • sunnyAZspawn

    So true about the exercise! I HAD a fb friend who I chose to hide because it was becoming a hit to my self esteem. Her multiple daily posts about P90X and Insanity being the greatest and how she was doing them 3 times a day was too much to take. Not to mention her multiple daily photos of her shoulders, abs, arms and a**. I’m with Lori. I walked to the mailbox today. That was my exercise. Now back to my life!

  • Buckeye Bob

    Mikey I didn’t actually write that on there either 🙂 Actually I very rarely write anything on there. And none of it really ruins my day although I don’t know why some people feel the need to report on every little thing they do during the day.

  • sunnyAZ

    There is a certain person that is my friend and she posts so much BS, that I am waiting for her to post that she had a great BM today!

  • Hatchetwoman

    LOL I thought I was the only one! I have someone on my “friends” list who couldn’t be more different from me. She’s superficial, shallow, likes to pretend she’s so fun, fun, fun that everyone loves her. Gag. She has to post every miniscule achievement. Oh, boy, I painted my front door! Wow, doesn’t it look beautiful?! Oh, now I went to the supermarket and bought food for my family! I’m such a GREAT housewife! And the sycophants pant and drool. I? Roll my eyes.

    There’s another one who doesn’t seem to understand that there are spelling and grammar rules for a reason. She constantly abbreviates “though” as “thou” — it makes me insane. It’s not “thou” you dimwit — “thou” is the second person singular pronoun. The colloquial abbreviation for “though” is “tho'” with an apostrophe, or even without; at this point I won’t quibble. Just don’t spell it “thou”!!!!

    I got myself all pissed off just thinking about it! arrgh!

  • R

    Hatchetwoman, I think you’re my hero.

  • Jen

    naked pregnant pictures followed by ugly baby pictures.
    to the first one: I don’t like you enough to sleep with you, why should I see every bumb and curve as it developes. I had to hide several people from my friend feed because I couldn’t “stomach” it anymore.
    and the second: one pic of your kid, fine…. but 30…. every day? Not every baby is that cute. And when people say that yours is, they are either related to you or being nice.

  • Rachel

    Okay, Jen, I am guilty of that one. I posted one picture a week of my growing belly and I have monthly albums of my son, each with 50+ pictures in it.
    My defense is that I have family all over the country and FB is the only way they get to “see” my son as he grows.

  • Amy

    KT…I agree with you. LOL Anyone who takes FB seriously enough to get annoyed with peoples status updates, Farmville, etc needs to just relax. Hide it…or hide them…and carry on.

  • Rob

    The worst are the people who say Good Morning or Hello EVERY day, ok we get it your up. Post something worth replying to.

  • socalmom

    Cowgirlv- i am so with you. I’m not on FB either! And Rachel, even though I am not a teacher, all the misspelled words and grammatical errors, too. My least favorite: “your” instead of “you’re”. “Your awesome, etc” was all over my son’s middle school yearbook! I told him he had better not be making that mistake when he wrote in yearbooks!!!

  • Fins

    Good call Mock. (although I had to laugh at The Captain) I didn’t make it thru that exrutiatingly long post either, lol.

    Can I add to my pet peeves those who post nothing but deep thoughts and ripped off quotes, as if that makes them look very intelligent, albeit Plagerists?

  • zippy

    I get annoyed when people constantly post religious updates. If I wanted to be preached at, I’d go to church.

  • gcb

    That’s pretty much the reason I left Twitter – annoying status updates like “Doing laundry” or “Eating supper” – often accompanied by pictures of the food in question.

  • b33cux

    So it’s not just me, eh? Good to know, although I wish this crap didn’t bug me as much… And then there are the ‘Duckface’ profile pics…… AAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!

  • VH

    it would be nice if you linked back to oatmeal if you’re gonna use his art.

  • Mockarena

    Happy to – but without a link it’s kinda difficult.

  • Liz

    What about chain letters, or status updates that come with instructions, such as “My true friends will post the following/preceding message on their walls!” My knee-jerk reaction is to do so, then I stop and say to myself, “Why should I be guilted or shamed into doing that? I don’t even KNOW you that well…” I don’t want to hurt peoples’ feelings by not following directions and so on, but do they really need attention that badly? I don’t respond to those updates, not because I don’t care, but as a matter of principle. Being prompted to give a response just rubs me the wrong way.

  • Ilham

    what about something like “i dunno why i feel sad/upset.” or “i hope you know how i feel…” and “this pain will never be cured…” when the actual problems are boyfriends/girlfirends who are as superficial as themselves. we have tons of that kind here in “exotic” indonesia, southeast asia. there’s a lot of “i’m the victim of everything” drama here. every girl and working man is facebook Drama Queen. it’s not quite good circumstance for me generally. i’d rather cut my wrist or give birth to a baby everytime i see those statuses on my facebook homepage. throw me a wet napkin please.

  • Sally

    You forgot something, people fighting on FB for everyone to see! Also, people bitching about an ex and using horrible grammar when they type. Don’t you realize that it makes you look like the idiot when you do so.

  • reTarD

    dudes and dudets stop bitching and moaning please

  • akane

    The sycophants are annoying, the ones that actually respond to the attention-seeking posts. I pass a major exam, get a few replies. The attention seeker posts the most forgettable status imaginable (I can’t even think of an example without going numb) and 20 people reply. Why? I still can’t figure it out.

    A close second are the ones who post their dramas, who clearly expect 100 sympathetic replies from people they barely know: “Oh, honey, hang in there”… “hugs”…. “thinking about you”. Dripping with insincerity. I can’t imagine why anyone would actually be soothed by obligatory responses crafted by people that are most likely intensely uncomfortable with another’s personal pain and/or attention seeking tendencies (or both). Send PM’s if you really need someone to talk to. PM’s are where the gold is, the status posts are just junk to wade through most of the time.