That was the subject line of the email I just got from alert and astute mockdocker Zachary, who sent me this GENIUS auto-tuned version of Antoine Dodson’s entire tv diatribe. Only it’s not just auto-tuned, you guys. This is destined to be a top 40 type of hit.
There are no words to express the amount of love I have for this video:
YOU GUYS! The shoes have arrived! The ones that I ended up getting for $9.99 from ebay!!! The ones I told you about right here! And they are PERFECTION. And in black already, so I don’t have to mess with dye or any of that nonsense. They are ready-to-wear.
I promised pics. And they are below. You know what cracks me up? I was thinking that I better write, “Ignore the mess in my closet and the fact that I haven’t vacuumed it yet this weekend” and then I realized that the entire community of mockdockers not only knows what the inside of my closet looks like, but you all know that it’s perpetually messy, too. And oddly, there is something strangely comforting about that.
Anyway, ignore the mess in my closet. And ignore the fact that I haven’t vacuumed yet this weekend. JUST LOOK AT THE SHOES, and how they can totally go with fancy dresses or dressed down in jeans. THEY ARE PERFECTION.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! I love shoes. Especially when they’re $9.99. 
Remember last year when I first introduced you to Floor Horse? And how after that came Wall Dog and Ceiling Cat and countless other animals-in-weird-places? Well now, thanks to an alert and astute mockdocker, it has come to my attention that Floor Horse has been on the move, and was spotted in an entirely different floor.
An alert and astute mockdocker sent this to me, and honestly, I’m kind of glad that Heidi has this whole missing arm issue to contend with, because it distracts people from the fact that this is the most hideous outfit ever.
Heidi – once you find your arms, have them dress you in something less horrible.
Just wait till the one minute mark. SO GREAT! If I am ever attacked by anyone, I want Antoine Dodson around for protection. LOVE.
…if you happen to know where this is, and could let me know, so that I can promptly put it on my list of places I NEVER EVER EVER WANT TO BE, that would be great.
Buckeye Bob sent this to me. He will have to tell us if he’s in the photo or not. 
I love the whole “Between Two Ferns” series, and my favorite of ALL TIME is the one with Bradley Cooper, because you CANNOT BEAT a random Carrot Top appearance, but this one is a close second:
Most uncomfortable looking sleeping twins EVER.
Just TRY to find me twins who look more uncomfortable sleeping.
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