Monthly Archive for June, 2010

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Totally Useless Product

Here’s the thing.  I can’t even product test this because I have no idea what it looks or feels like to be Canadian, and therefore could not attest to its efficacy.

But knock yourself out, if you’re interested!

It’s My Birthday + 3 Days!

I got a really nice summer robe from my folks along with a new bottle of my most favorite perfume ever, Pleasures Intense.  Because I don’t settle for just plain old pleasures.  I prefer the intense kind.  This was after I got fed my favorite beef ‘n noodles meal and had yummy bread and cheese and salad and then had cheesecake for dessert.

And it occurred to me that I had written about Pleasures Intense waaaaay back when I first discovered it, so I did a search on that name here on The Mock Dock, and it took me to this post about it. And I re-read that post, and I don’t like to brag or anything, but I was pretty funny in it.  Especially the part about the tampons.

I kill me.

Anyway, today I had Hacienda chips and salsa for breakfast, in honor of my birthday + 3 days.

I’ll keep you apprised of any and all new birthday developments.

So Confused.

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this photo of Beyonce, and I am totally baffled by how someone could put together clothing which looks like it was retrieved from a dumpster, with one of the most fabulous pairs of shoes I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Why would she ruin awesome shoes like this?  Why?

Doesn’t she know it’s my birthday weekend?

Oh God!!

George Burns has come back from the dead as a woman with terrible teeth and horrible fashion choices.

(You have to be as old as me, or older, to get that post title.  Hopefully someone here does.)

🙂

Birthday Adventures

You knew it was coming, right? I mean, my birthday was two days ago, which in my world means that it is still happening, which means I will continue to talk about it as long as possible. 🙂 And since Mr. Mock’s present has not yet arrived, I’ll get to talk about it when it DOES too.

I love birthdays.

ANYWAY, yesterday Bunny and I went shopping and then headed up to Hacienda in Kokomo for my now-annual birthday feast.  We were browsing through Kohl’s, and trying to avoid the smattering of Ashley Judd photos in the cosmetics section.  But I couldn’t help but be momentarily annoyed remembering how she was on the Ellen Degeneres show once, and claimed that her Kohl’s photo advertisements were void of any retouching/airbrushing whatsoever.  She Actually Claimed this.  Let’s review.

Here’s a Kohl’s photo ad:

And here’s Actual Reality:

I don’t think that’s just a difference in make-up, you guys.  But that’s just me.

Anyway, during our browsing, we came across the lingerie section, when the BIGGEST UNDERWEAR WE HAVE EVER SEEN EVER caught our eye.  Along with the biggest bra.  Here is what those items look like compared to Bunny:

The crotch is at her KNEES, you guys.  Now, you would think that seeing those might have encouraged us to have a bit less of an appetite at Hacienda, but you’d be wrong.  We ate ourselves silly.  And I got a birthday sombrero along with my hot chocolate chip cookie with three ice cream scoops and chocolate drizzle dessert:

Have I ever told you guys how much I love Hacienda?

Earlier in the day, I had to take Mini-Mock to get fitted for a tuxedo to wear for J’s wedding next weekend (as you may recall J is Junior-Mock’s caregiver).  Both of the boys are going to be in the wedding!  And while Mini-Mock wasn’t altogether pleased about getting measured (particularly in the shoes – holy crap I don’t know how you boys wear those horrid things), he looked positively EDIBLE:

The lady at the tux shop told me that the cost of rental for the two tuxes was going to be TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY DOLLARS.  Can you even believe that?  I love that both of my boys get to be in the wedding, but I’m officially hoping that they’re not going to be in any more of them in the future.  I even asked the woman what the difference would be to just BUY the tuxes, and it was over double that amount.  They charge $75 for the plain white dress shirt alone.  ROBBERY.

Anyway, it’s worth it just to see how completely PRECIOUS they’re going to look.  I will take lots of pictures.

The birthday continues today at my parents’ house, where I will have my favorite mom-prepared meal, and additional fuss.  🙂

This Looks Kind Of Dangerous

Warning – some NSFW language and hand gestures. But other than that, just inexplicable hilarity.

Whizzuh Whuzzah?

This makes no sense.

Why is there no blue sticker tape on the right-hand cupboard?

Oh Thank God

According to this, some dude who spent $100,000 to have dinner with Ashley Judd and Coach John Calipari (auctioned to benefit Haiti), is finally getting a peek at what the menu will be for said dinner.

I don’t know about you guys, but finally, I feel like I can go on living now that I don’t have to wonder what Ashley Judd’s private chef is going to serve for dinner. And you can too. Just look:

■ Hors d’oeuvres: Slow-roasted tomato tartlets with Purple Haze goat cheese and pine nuts, fried baby artichokes, Meyer lemon aioli cucumber shooters and cheddar wafers.
■ First course: Handmade pappardelle with butter de Reggiano Parmesan, shaved Umbrian white truffles, Parmigiano-Reggiano and chives.
■ Second course: A composed salad of heirloom tomatoes, roasted yellow beets, arugula, baby jewel tomatoes, Maytag blue cheese, candied spiced walnuts and frizzled leeks with basil vinaigrette.
■ Third course: Seared halibut fillet with ratatouille.
■ Fourth course: A prime rib-eye steak grilled over hickory, gratin cheddar potatoes, haricot vert, tomato fondue and smoky shallot rings.
■ A cheese and fruit course will follow.
■ Dessert: Tiramisu and coffee.

I don’t even know what some of those things ARE. But here’s a horrible picture of Ashley.

This Day Is Going To Be Awesome

Mini-Mock has been working very hard lately on perfecting the “th” and “r” sounds, which if you have itty bitty kids you know can be tough! So what better way to practice than by singing the Happy Birrrrtttthhhhday Song?

Seriously. Is he just not the cutest thing ever?

Folks at work have been great. I have four little wind-up jumping monkeys on my desk, a huuuuuge bag of laffy taffy, a giant birthday sign, and blow-up monkey to hang on my door, and this hat:

Unfortunately, Mr. Mock is traveling, which is pretty much ALWAYS the case on my birthday, and Daisy’s in Mexico, and so I’m not doing anything particularly exciting tonight except hanging with my boys, catching up on some SYTYCD episodes, and, you know, mocking stuff for you guys. 🙂 But I’m sure Mr. Mock will make it up to me, as he always does. And Daisy already made birthday plans with me when she gets back, and tomorrow I’m shopping with my sis and going to Hacienda, and then I have lunch at my folks’ house on Sunday. So as usual, my birthday is going to last for days and days. 🙂 YAY!

Insignificant Awareness Engine

This totally gave me the glees. 🙂

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