…and I’ve been struggling with it all day, frankly. You know how sometimes there is just really tough stuff you have to say to someone, and you don’t know how they’ll react, and so you have to really mull over how you’re going to deliver the message?
That’s how I feel right now. I mean, I’ve “virtually” known many of you mockdockers for over two years now, and divulging something of this magnitude is a Big Deal regardless of how longstanding our relationship might be. It’s just not something I wanted to dump on you without any warning, so I’ve decided to not post the news on the front page. Jump in, and brace yourselves, for what I’m about to reveal will BLOW YOUR MIND.
OMG RICKY MARTIN IS GAY!!!!
I’ll wait a second while you regain your composure.
Anyway, the details are all right here. He’s a “fortunate homosexual” and “today is his day, this is his time, and this is his moment.”
All snark aside, how totally not surprised by this are you? Because this is like the most non-event EVER, if you ask me. We’re talking about a guy who used to be in MENUDO, for God’s sake. If he WEREN’T gay, THAT would be news.