Monthly Archive for November, 2009

This Could Be The Cutest 17 Seconds I Have Ever Seen EVER


Can you even stand it?

Posting might be slow this evening, because I will be busy watching this video clip like 4 billion more times.

“Because Nothing Says Christmas Like An Evil Octopus”

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An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this photo of a product she found on Amazon, and it cracked me up not only because it’s a big stuffed evil-looking octopus on top of a Christmas tree, but because she included in her message the quote which now serves as the title of this post. 

You guys, this horrific tree topper is ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE DOLLARS.  What in the holy hell?

I was just sitting here wondering, as I typed this, what sort of crazy person would even WANT such an item, and then it occurred to me that I kind of want it.  Now I wouldn’t spend that kind of cash on an evil octopus tree topper, but if given to me as a gift, I believe I would gladly use it, if only to stimulate interesting conversations.

Holy Mother Of Tall

This is a short clip from a models-in-bikinis photoshoot, in which one of the featured models is SEVEN FEET TALL. The girl she’s posing with is like a regular size human, and the photographer dude who is shown a couple times is a regular size human, but the main model is SEVEN FEET TALL.

I really have nothing to add except for that this chick is seven feet tall.

Holy crap!

Mini Mockism Of The Day

I had hiccups earlier, which I HATE. When I get them, they just rattle my whole body and they hurt. So Mr. Mock said, “Drink some water,” and I did, and that helped. But Mini-Mock soon developed sympathy hiccups – the kind that only a 4 year old can get, because they are completely made up. He was making the hiccup sound over and over, and dramatically declared to us, “I have hiccups!” And so Mr. Mock said, “Drink some of your juice.”

And you know what Mini-Mock said?

He said, “I can’t, because my hiccups keep hiccing up.”

I think I’m going to like the age of 4 every bit as much as I liked 3. 🙂

Babies, Babies, Babies!

I don’t know about you all, but I love babies. LOVE THEM. I can’t wait for Daisy to just HAVE hers already so that I can kidnap her and play with her and love her and pretend that she’s mine. So, there’s no question but that I’m going to see this movie, which looks completely adorable.

And I wouldn’t be surprised, actually, if Daisy’s hormonal enough right now to weep with adoration at the very sight of this preview.


Mockdockers, I Need Your Suggestions!

So, remember how awesome my birthday was, and how Mr. Mock planned this fabulous trip for us? Well, that trip is in just a couple of weeks now, and so basically it is all I can think about. Which kinda sucks for you guys, really, because you know how I get when I’m excited for something.

Anyway, I had been planning taking Dan Brown’s latest book with me for beach reading, but have now decided I’m too impatient to wait that long to read it, and besides, it’s hardcover and way too fat for a carry-on. So here’s what I need help with. Can you guys recommend some good girly beach books to me? My requirements are pretty simple:

1. It has to be in paperback.
2. It has to be a total page-turner that holds my interest.
3. It has to be light reading. I don’t want to tackle War and Peace or anything like that on a beach vacation.
4. It can’t be anything by Laura Zigman or Jodi Picoult, because I have already read everything that those women have written.

So? Can you guys help a sister out?

This Is Freaking Awesome

The stuff they do with the building windows – OMG. So cool. It all looks so bounce-ariffic and fun.

Except, this entire routine could be considerably improved if, instead of whatever horrible music that was they had playing in the background, they switched to, say, one of Robbie Williams’ albums.

I Need To Be Catty For A Minute

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I know you guys aren’t used to me being snarky about celebrities, and that it’s TOTALLY out of character for me, but I need to be able to speak freely for a moment about Katie Holmes’ body.

It’s weird.

I know she can’t help it, but you guys, she has the longest torso EVER.  Like – unusually, bizarrely long.  And it makes her legs look like tree stumps. And you know what exacerbates that?  THOSE HORRIBLE SHOES.

Even her daughter Suri knows that a slight heel elongates the legs, and Suri is three years old.  Could they not share a stylist?

Now, lest you think I’m just horribly mean to celebrities without ever giving them a break, I want to show you someone that looks absolutely perfect:

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Carrie Underwood is FLAWLESS.  See?  I’m not always mean.

Speaking Of “No Air”

This gives me the glees SO MUCH. The expressions on their faces are HYSTERICAL. No idea who these two spoofers are, but I hope they make many many many many more videos. LOVE.

I Interrupt The Economic Crisis, War On Terror, And The Inevitability Of Socialized Healthcare To Bring You FAR MORE IMPORTANT NEWS.

You guys, according to this, my beloved Victoria has bunions.

I’ll wait a moment while you reassess your entire life.

So, an alert and astute mockdocker linked me to the article, which highlights some of Vicky B’s best shoes, and also shows a picture of her bunions. What are we, as a society, supposed to DO with ourselves if Victoria Beckham has to take a break from high heels? How are we to go on?

I decided to do a youtube search on Victoria Beckham shoes, and I don’t know why I’m surprised at ALL by this, but there are a crapload of videos featuring her feet. Above is just ONE.

If you could go ahead and just add her bunioned feet to your prayer list tonight, that’d be great. Meantime, let’s just all try to move on with our lives as best we can.


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