Hey – Do You Guys Think My Throat Is Fat?

I cannot tell you how tempted I am to buy this. An alert and astute mockdocker sent this to me with a message that said, “I saw this and instantly thought of you.” And at first I was all flattered that someone would see this and think that it was hilarious and that they’d then think, “OMG Mock would love this.” BUT THEN – I thought, “OMG – this alert and astute mockdocker instantly thought of me when she saw this because she thinks I have a fat throat.

And now I’m all self-conscious about the fatness of my throatular area. Great.

Anyway, for $20 it’s almost worth it, because listen. Forever ago, like seriously 20+ years ago, I had really bad asthma and I was put on steroids for it. And I am totally not making this up, but I developed a little pocket of fat right under my chin – like a wattle, kinda – from the steroids. It’s not something I have ever really obsessed about UNTIL I GOT THIS EMAIL. But now that I’ve seen this video, I swear to you I’ve examined this wattle like 17 times in the mirror, and now I’m convinced that it’s totally horrifically obvious to everyone, and I must do something about it at once.

Now before you go thinking I’ve lost my mind, let me assure you that I’m not so naive that I think this product will actually work. BUT HOW FUN would it be to product test it? Seriously. I could capture video of myself using it for you guys, and then I could do before and after pictures and you can all decide if there’s any improvement. But I would need some serious reassurance from all of you that you won’t actually make fun of my wattle. Because as of about a half hour ago, I’ve become very sensitive about it.

And WHAT IF it actually did something about my wattlular area? I mean, it’s POSSIBLE, right? Stranger things have happened.

Now I ask you, has there ever been a better reason to donate to The Mock Dock than in support of this kind of research?

UPDATE: Edited to correct spelling of “wattle” for the Mock Dock’s resident grammar nazi. 🙂

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