Got Hair?

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This person is one of many many many many people SELLING THEIR HAIR on a website that Bunny pointed me to today.  If you go to www.thehairtrader.com, you can list your own hair for free.  And you can write your own handy dandy description of your hair, so as to attract the most hair buyers.  It’s like ebay for hair.  It’s like hairbay.

So the person in the photo above? Yeah.  That’s a GUY.  And here’s the description he wrote about his hair:

Dark-brown +24 inch virgin hair. Never been chemically treated, has been well-shampooed and condition. Always air-dried. Main color is the aforementioned chocolate color. Scarlet higlights appear durring sunset. “Honey-dust blonde” streaks have appeared on occasion, when brushed juuuuuuuuuuuust right. Looks like ribbons of black steel when wet. Very thick, resilliant: I’m a guy (but with some feminine quirks: bone structure, skin and HAIR (!) texture, for example). My hair has been growing for +8 years (It’s survived the Bush Administration!), but it’s time for Change (and my computer recently exploded, so could use the money. ^^;;; ) Volume: Alot. It could hold a serious electric charge on dry days. Durring trims, I’ve only had it thinned out (for weight) about two times. Texture: Very wavey, with curling rings at tips. I’m mixed ethnicity: I’m somewhere between Latin-blooded and Middle-Eastern-blooded, with some other ethnicities adding to my exotic look. I’ll go get it cut at at a Salon or Beauty school, have it get one last trim for split ends, and cut for maximun length and usability. Lifestyle: never smoke, never drink. Exercise regularly. Strong enough for a man. Gentle enough for a lady.”

Question.  Say you bought this dude’s hair.  How would go about using it? I mean, what is the application process? 

You know I’m not good at this kind of research.

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  • meganyore

    oh.my.god. im in love with this guy. i want to meet him heehee
    seriously? “strong enough for a man, gentle enough for a woman”??? LOL how do you NOT laugh OUT LOUD when you read that?!
    honey dust blonde. omg. LOVE

  • http://zackapalooza.wordpress.com Zachary

    Megan, I was going to post about that “strong enough for a man, gentle enough for a woman thing” but you beat me to it.

    Let’s all post (short) descriptions of our own hair, being as romance-novelly as possible.

    “Sandy brown, 2+ inch virgin hair. It has never had sex before, almost certain. Main color resembles that of wet sand on a beautiful, exotic seashore, while a rough-and-tumble, deviant cowlick in the front appears a pale-sex-goldenrod. My American heritage contributes to its tendency to be occasionally greasy-looking…like a well-oiled machine.”

  • Benoit from Ottawa

    Oh.

    That kind of hair.

  • http://www.ideasite.net Dave J

    Eavesdropping on one of my middle school students yesterday, he was saying he used to grow his hair for 9 months, then shave it… grow it 9 months, then shave it. He then said, “now I have this pillow, it’s sooo soft…” and I quickly walked out of earshot. Bleah!

  • http://zackapalooza.wordpress.com Zachary

    Dave J.,

    Thank you for ruining my life with that thoroughly repulsive story.

  • el pato

    well, i knew that you could donate your hair to ‘locks of love’,
    for people who’ve had chemo treatments and lost their hair.
    they make nice wigs.
    i’ve donated several times.
    now, i keep my hair short. 2″.
    i would think that there are wig makers who would pay for this.
    they are always asking people if you want to sell your hair if it’s the right length, color and texture.

  • PurpleAnn

    This picture & description are 6 kinds of creepy! I can’t even bring myself to visit this website.

  • pict13

    It’s hair porn!

  • QuiteContrary

    ok, I do wanna try this…

    Ten lustrous inches of deep brunette hair with shimmering auburn highlights. Very thick, with lots of volume and soft one inch ringlet curls…
    Ug, I feel like I am talking about my non-existent penis… at least more so than my hair.
    Never mind.

  • Wiggity

    Now my hair just feels like a cheap and dirty whore.

  • http://meatlovingvegan.wordpress.com elizabeth.

    @Zachary – you are my new literary hero!

    @el Pato – that was the first thing that came to mind! These people are so selfish – how much are they making off this? Donate your (might I add, costless home-grown) asset to a good cause for people to feel normal in society when they’re sick!! Ugh – this made me mad.

    As for mine-

    8 to 12 inches (depending on the day) of moderately healthy, resilient chemically died deep chestnut brown hair. When wet, this maine is long and smooth and the color of charcoal. Sun beams cause streaks of deep dark red hightlights that glisten as my head turns. Actual color of these strong locks can no longer be determined due to years of box coloring, but that just means you can can color to your own specifications!

  • jenn

    This website kind of sounds like pict13 says…is this a sexual thing?

  • PurpleAnn

    I think it is a sexual fetish thing. I worked up the nerve to check out the site. Someone offered a redhead $4,000 if he could shave her head! Another man offered $100 to brush it for one hour. These guys probably touch themselves when they watch shampoo commercials. I don’t get it!

  • rosie too

    Oh, how times have changed since the days of Jo and Marmee.

  • el pato

    purpleann, that is just so creepy!!
    would you let some creepy guy brush your hair for $100.00?
    would anyone?

  • PurpleAnn

    El Pato, what’s your best offer?

  • PurpleAnn

    @ El Pato, Now I sound creepy…I read an old post & realized you are female. Sorry! The honest answer is NO! The ick factor is just too great. (But I’d let Buffalo Bob brush my hair for free!)

  • http://zackapalooza.wordpress.com Zachary

    @Elizabeth: YES! I always wanted to be someone’s literary hero. I’m going to write a book now with all this confidence.

  • Nikki

    There is another site called OnlineHairAffair.com that you can sell your hair on also its basicly the same thing but better. Everything is put into an auction which creates a demand for your hair which drives the price up. They also have a feedback system in place to show users who really is serious about buying and selling hair. It’s a pretty new site but so far it looks awesome and its taking over by storm. Check them out http://www.OnlineHairAffair.com